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5 Features The New Mean Girls Phone App Must Have

Photo: c.Paramount/Everett/REX USA
It may have been 11 years (11 years?!) since Mean Girls made its monumental debut, but still, rarely a day goes by when a quote from the iconic high school comedy doesn't come to mind. ("You go, Glen Coco.") And now, the folks at Pocket Gems are bringing the movie we know by heart, to a mobile phone near you, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The free-to-play game, to be released later this year, will allow users to enroll in a fictional high school with "original plots based on the 2004 comedy to create a choose-your-own-adventure gaming experience." (Can we choose to make out with Aaron Samuels?) Kirsten Smith, the screenwriter behind Legally Blonde and 10 Things I Hate About You, will be writing the mobile game's story, and based on her resume, we have faith in her ability to capture the majesty of Mean Girls in mobile form. But just in case she's looking for some inspiration, we offer her our definitive list of five things the game really should include. 1. Please, can someone finally make "Fetch" happen? We know Regina George shut it down, but the time has come to overthrow the reigning Plastic and finally let Gretchen Wieners show us how the phrase was meant to be used. 2. Give us a Burn Book insult generator. Bonus points for every time “You smell like a baby prostitute” is worked into the conversation. 3. Is butter a carb? Can you go to Taco Bell when you're on an all-carb diet? The game should really let us know. Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries. 4. Sync with a weather app so Karen Smith can bring us the weather via her boobs all the time. 5. Let us push a Plastic in front of a bus for the win, because really, high school can be tough. Sometimes, a little daydream about that bully who's been torturing you getting hit by a bus is enough to get us through the week. We would never do it in real life ... but this isn't real life. It's mobile Mean Girls therapy. And remember: On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
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