Trevor Noah had a bit of a health scare this week. The South African comedian and host of The Daily Show told audiences last night that he had just returned from the "world's shortest vacation" after a "touch of emergency appendectomy surgery."
After thanking the surgeons who got him on his feet again, Noah related an ER scenario we all know and abhor: not being treated quickly enough. "It was an interesting experience going to the emergency room, I'm not going to lie," he explained. "Although I don't know if emergency room is the right term. Because they make you wait."
They sure do: A 2014 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed that people wait an average of 30 minutes before being seen in the ER, and it takes three times that long to be treated.
"I feel like there should be two rooms," Noah went on, "a room for emergencies and a room for people who can fill out forms." Apparently, the 30-year-old was in the midst of doing paperwork when a woman came by to check on his progress. "I'm dying," he recalled telling her.
"And she's like, 'Yeah, but I need you to fill out the form first.' Alright, but I'm dying," he said, recounting the exchange. "And she's like, 'But I need your information.' What more information do you need other than the fact that I'm dying?" he asked. Yep. Sounds like good ol' American health care.
Then, he was fainting from the pain of having a perforated appendix, and a nurse told him, "Sir, you can't faint in here, we need you to go to triage." She then followed him into another room and — here's the kicker — handed him a few more forms to fill out. At that point, Noah was asked to fill out his insurance information, but for totally understandable reasons couldn't seem to get it together.
What the nurse said next is the hilarious peak of this story — head over to Comedy Central to hear the punch line for yourself.
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