Daniel Radcliffe Did Not Do This On The Harry Potter Set

We get it: Not everything we loved in childhood is as innocent as we may have once thought. But does that mean some people have to be pervy about it? Case in point: Why is Daniel Radcliffe in the position of needing to assure us that he did not masturbate on the set of the Harry Potter films? Honestly, we wouldn't judge, nor would we be the least bit surprised if he did. But if we're being honest, we'd rather not have to think about it. This whole "Did he or didn't he?" speculation began with Radcliffe's Playboy interview back in October, in which he was asked about masturbation, as one expects in a Playboy interview. "I think I started very early — before my teens," he said. "But not when I was on set. I wasn’t going, 'When is Alan Rickman going to nail this scene so I can run back to my trailer?' There’s another feeling, again perfectly described by Louis C.K.: that fear just after you’ve jerked off that everyone knows what you did. It would have been embarrassing to walk back on set and look the dignitaries of British acting royalty in the eye, knowing what I’d been doing." And yet, the tabloids picked up on the story and turned it all around to say that he did, or at least he struggled not to. So, when he was interviewed again by this week's NME, the reporter pointed out all the headlines about whatever he was getting up to in his trailer all those years, and Radcliffe set the record straight one more time: "It’s frustrating when you tell a story and say, ‘Yes, I wanked a lot when I was a teenager,’ but clearly I didn’t mean on set…. Can you make this clear for me: I was not wanking during the filming of Potter — I managed to restrain myself until I got home." Now, everyone, can we stop trying to picture baby Harry's sexual urges and get back to admiring him all grown up?