Wait, does this mean Amy Schumer won't be popping up on The Bachelor this season? We're heartbroken.
But we are also pretty psyched about her new guy, who seems to really appreciate exactly how lucky he is to be dating the comedy goddess. Schumer is reportedly seeing a Chicago-based furniture designer and apparent ice hockey enthusiast named Ben Hanisch.
So how do we know they're dating?
Exhibit A: Schumer brought Hanisch on a sibling date to the White House. You only do that with an Obama-worthy boo, right?
Fam and man at the whitehizzy pic.twitter.com/L27nIZsgpb
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) January 5, 2016
Exhibit B: Hanisch posted this really sweet pic of himself and the comedian to his Instagram account. "Sometimes in life you get extremely lucky, and the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman comes along when you least expect it," he captioned the photo. "Here's to what adventures 2016 brings!"
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Note on Exhibit B: This seems like the kind of cutesy comment that Schumer would usually make barf noises over. But whatever smitten feelings are occurring between these two are not compromising her usual antics. She added her own two cents to the comments section: "I'm pregnant. I didn't know how else to tell you."
She also posted a similar message to another one of Hanisch's Instagram photos, specifically of a dog staring out an airplane window. We're calling this Exhibit C, and assuming that she's probably not pregnant.
Other reports have indicated that Schumer is also dating President Obama, but we're going to chalk that up to an attraction to powerful men and wishful thinking.
Well the word is out. It's official. Here's my new boyfriend. #StopGunViolence pic.twitter.com/vB69oTfRrU
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) January 6, 2016
So there you have it. Amy Schumer + Ben Hanisch = definitely going out. We're guessing that's not going to stop her from talking about how she can catch a dick whenevs.