This Channing Tatum Musical Number Is All You Ever Wanted

You may not have known that you wanted to see Channing Tatum in a sailor suit, wistfully singing about dames in a musical number that is not at all subtle about its homoerotic subtext. But subconsciously, you definitely did. Fortunately, the Coen brothers shared this vision, and made it a reality in their new movie Hail, Caesar! Tatum plays song-and-dance man Burt Gurney in the comedy about a studio "fixer" (Josh Brolin) who must spring into action when star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) is kidnapped. The film comes out Friday, but a clip out now gives us a taste of Tatum's big number. Starting off with a solo, Tatum does a perfectly doe-eyed parody of Old Hollywood hokum. He is then joined by a chorus of sailors, who have a marvelous way of pronouncing the word "mermaid." Tatum told Vulture that that was his first time singing "in front of anyone." The Hateful Eight actor said he's "hoping and praying that with all, like, the magical tools that they have [in the recording studio] it’s going to sound decent." While we're not going to say Tatum has the best voice, he certainly gets the job done. Channing, stop being so humble.

Tatum also learned to tap dance for the role. Now he just needs to combine his new skills with some of his tried-and-true "Pony" and Beyoncé moves. We'd have to call a mashup of that caliber the Full Tatum.