Gilmore Girls is finally coming back, which means Team Jess, Team Dean, and Team Logan have been resurrected. They're all sure their guy of choice is the man Rory (Alexis Bledel) should really be with, getting married at the Yale library, and having kids together named after Pulitzer Prize-winners and girl band drummers.
But they're all wrong. There's absolutely no one Rory Gilmore has already called her BF who can give her a lifetime of happiness and witty banter. Rory's true soul mate is Marty, a.k.a. "naked guy." Rory is introduced to "naked guy" her first week at Yale (specifically in "The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles"), and though he's only featured in 10 episodes (one more than Adam Brody's dreamy Dave Rygalski), their connection is obvious.
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Marty (Wayne Wilcox) offers plenty of surface perks over her other potential suitors. There's the story of their first meeting that they'll tell their grandkids — do you want to explain, over and over, that you met your true love in the halls of high school, at your local dinner, in the office of the school paper, or completely naked, face down in the dorm hallway? The Gilmore girls like a good story, and Marty and Rory, with some awkwardness and the kind exchange of a bathrobe, have one.
Rory, in her wild youth, obviously had a thing for bad boys. Even all-American boy Dean (Jared Padalecki) has a temper that leads to multiple physical fights (and then, of course, he becomes a terrible, horrible cheater). Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) flouts authority and wears a black leather jacket. And Logan (Matt Czuchry) jumps off of stuff non-winged creatures should not jump off of. But, hopefully, post-college and post-campaign trail, Rory will be able to see the value in a less dangerous bae. Maybe it will happen suddenly — one day, she'll see her (stepdad? fingers crossed) Luke (Scott Patterson) remind her mom to turn off the gas on the stove before movie night, and she'll think, I want someone dependable like that.
Rory and Marty grow close at an interesting point in her love life. Post-Dean, she's ready to fully embrace her Yale life. She meets Logan and is dazzled by his worldliness, which overshadows his douchiness. Logan doesn't go out of his way to embarrass Marty, but he isn't exactly sensitive to the fact that not everyone has a bottomless bank account, either. But even in his embarrassment, Marty doesn't blow up like Jess or Dean might have.
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In the mess that is Gilmore Girls' seventh season, things get a bit awkward between the two, and Marty disappears forever. But in the revival, he could pop up anywhere. Maybe in a diner on a campaign trail stop, where the two might talk long into the night, realizing they could still pick up the same banter that she and Dean never share, that she has with Jess but is always tinged with sarcasm, and that she has with Logan but is always a little patronizing.
Rory's exes come with way too much baggage — adultery, severe daddy issues, really bad hair. But Marty's biggest hang-up would be unrequited love. With Rory finally recoginizing the obvious chemisty between them, that would be solved, and they'd be free to walk into the sunset, quoting Charlie Chaplin while a chorus of la-la-las plays in the background.