Last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy finds Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) being pursued. In fact, she's being courted by an extremely attractive military doctor. Throughout the episode, her friends tease her about his constant calls, which she's ignoring because she's not ready to date yet. Whether this is a defense mechanism against getting hurt after losing the love of her life, or because she's still recovering from a brutal physical attack and juggling an intense career and raising three kids is beside the point. She's not picking up, and he's not getting the hint.
Still, it seems Grey might be considering giving the army doc a chance. But then he just shows up at her hospital. Not even in the hospital, but outside, in the back, away from other people. "Right about now, you're thinking I'm some kind of stalker," he says, after materializing on the bench next to her. Whether or not Mer thinks that, I do. There are so many red flags here, but they're being portrayed as romantic red roses. We, the viewers, know that the place where Meredith does her doctoring is basically Tinder come to life. But to an outsider, a stranger, the assumption should be that a woman might not want to conduct personal business where she works. It's also safe to assume that, if a woman ignores your calls, she does not want your physical person chatting her up instead.
Real stories of violence perpetrated by men against the women who reject them are not uncommon. There was the teen who stabbed his classmate after she rejected his prom invitation. Or the woman who was shot at a bar earlier this year after expressing she wasn't interested in the man who was pursuing her.
The most unnerving thing about the military doctor's appearance is his irrational "I thought I'd ask you out, but I can't do that if you don't call me back" explanation. He says, "I thought I'd show up here, ask you. That way if you wanted to turn me down, you'd have to do it in person."
In the world of TV, this is supposed to be sweet. He's committed, he's doing the hard work, he's proving he's really interested. And as viewers, we know that as much as Grey's loves drama, it loves romance more, so it's unlikely that the hot doctor has any violent agenda up his perfectly tailored sleeve. But there's a very good reason why a woman might want to stay a safe distance away while scorning a man's advances.