Ready to hop on the rickety emotional rollercoaster that has been this whole season of Girls? Great! Climb aboard "Hello Kitty," a.k.a. episode 7.
This installment of season 5 centers around a play about the death of Kitty Genovese. You may recall Ms. Genovese's murder from a psych or sociology 101 class: She was stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, back in 1964, while a host of neighbors who heard her screaming did nothing. In addition to being assholes, these people fall into the category of "silent bystander" — their assumption being that they don't need to intervene, someone else will step in and help.
One might imagine the bystander effect theme would trickle down into the plot of this episode somehow. It does, sort of, in the sense that the main characters on this show (with the exception of Elijah, Ray, and maybe Adam these days) are so freaking self-absorbed that there might literally have to be a person screaming for her life in the streets for them to break the solipsist cycle. Anyway, Adam is performing in an immersive theater experience and everyone is attending, including Fran and Hannah, who apparently have not had a heart to heart about Hannah's sauna sex tryst.
Hannah's worst self is on especial display in these scenes: "Hello Kitty" opens with her finally being called to the principal's office at work. He's explaining to her that he just can't tolerate her verbally abusing the other teachers in front of students. Instead of — I don't know, maybe taking this conversation seriously — Hannah pulls a Basic Instinct, opening her legs to reveal that she's not wearing any underwear beneath that skirt. The principal is speechless after this vagina flash, which ultimately seems to have the desired impact of getting Hannah off the hook.
Fran — who Hannah is sharing this story with en route to the play — is pissed that she bush-flashed their boss for a multitude of reasons, among them the fact that she doesn't understand why it was such a fucked up move. They fight all the way to the play and when they get there, Hannah tells Fran that she wants to break up; he reminds her that he's not into making scenes in public and clearly isn't taking her threat seriously. They go in separate directions for the evening.
Hannah pairs off with Ray and they wind up in a room where two sisters are acting out a fight. Then, Marnie shows up and interrupts them, pulling Ray out into the hallway to announce that she and Desi are splitting up. Marnie clearly wants some specific reaction out of Ray — but she doesn't get it. Ray, it seems, wants to hear that maybe the divorce has something to do with Marnie having feelings for him — but she doesn't cop to that, either. So, they just go back to the play, which Hannah is starting to get into. She and Marnie wind up in the room where Adam's performing, with the murder of Kitty Genovese taking place outside.
When Hannah leans out the window to see what's happening, she notices Jessa — who she hasn't patched things up with, by the way — leaning on the fire escape across the courtyard. Jessa is watching Adam and Hannah is watching Jessa watch Adam when, suddenly, it clicks: Jessa and Adam are together. Thus begins Hannah's meltdown about being a silent bystander to her friends' budding relationship. Hannah drags Marnie into another room to talk through what's going on and Marnie insists that she doesn't know anything about it.
Then, Desi shows up — to everyone's surprise — and announces that their song has been chosen for an upcoming episode of Grey's Anatomy. This could be a major thing. For a moment, Desi and Marnie set aside their relationship problems while basking in the glow of this breakthrough; in the background, Hannah can't get it together to be happy for them. She throws a mini tantrum on a bed.
Don't worry: There is a Dill-and-Elijah plot happening in "Hello Kitty," too. Elijah is uptown at Dill's fancy pad, where there is a big party full of beautiful, famous people. Dill is being super affectionate and sweet, but it's also clear that something weird is going on. Elijah seems to be increasingly aware of the fact that there's a power imbalance in this relationship that's tipping toward Dill. That becomes clearer still when Elijah — waiting in line to get Dill a drink — starts chatting with another guy at the soiree: This dude spills that Dill has dated a lot of the men in this very room, and even took one of them to a black-tie event earlier in the week. Elijah is pretty incensed and locks himself in the bathroom.
Dill tracks him down and Elijah confronts him, asking what's going on between the two of them. Dill is pretty matter-of-fact about his lifestyle, telling Elijah that if he can't hang, he should probably leave the party. It's a tough moment for Elijah, who is trying to decide whether or not he should tolerate Dill's philandering. In the end, he decides he can't, so he shoves fancy bathroom products into his pockets and storms out of the party and back to Brooklyn. Hours later, Dill turns up at Elijah's apartment, clearly drunk. He wants to have sex, but Elijah demurs, not wanting to take advantage of a wasted Dill. In the end, Dill tries to go down on him and falls asleep mid-foreplay. Is it possible that Elijah is actually the more emotionally stable person in this relationship? We shall see.
In another part of town, the play ends and Hannah and Ray are outside: Hannah is clearly pretty upset. Fran ambles up, ready to make peace with Hannah and enjoy the rest of their evening together — when suddenly, Adam and Jessa walk out of the apartment building, on their way somewhere together. Hannah calls out to Adam and congratulates him on his performance in the play; Jessa calls out hello to Hannah, pausing for a moment as though she wants to say more, and then takes off with Adam.
Fran senses that something is going on here: He tries reach out to Hannah, who slaps his hand away. But she realizes that she's making a mistake and apologizes to Fran for being a jerk, offering her own hand. Ever the bigger person, he takes it. Together, they walk away.
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