The One Question No One’s Asking About Niall Horan’s Abusive Fans

Earlier this month, One Direction member and platinum-blond human Niall Horan shared some disturbing news about his fans. Some of them have been texting him really nasty things. He took to Twitter to air his frustration. "And the sad thing is," he wrote, "as I tweet this they are in a group chat laughing at me."

I get that this is probably a really annoying and heartbreaking situation for Horan, but the real question here is: How the hell did a bunch of One Direction fans get his personal phone number in the first place?

Horan casually mentions that these garbage people are blowing up his phone in a group chat. But why is this information greeted as a basic fact of the scenario? Celebrities don't just have their phone numbers distributed like Halloween candy. How can he just drop this information without shouting, hands clenched into air fists, "Who gave out my phone number?" This simply does not happen. He's evoking a pity party about how they're laughing at him as he tweets, but Niall, why are you tweeting and not calling your cell phone provider to change your number, dude?

Here are some possible theories as to how this all came about:

1. A person who knew Horan before he got famous made the poor decision to distribute his number to a fan site, whether out of jealousy, spite, or the masturbatory feeling of letting everyone know you knew him "when."

2. Another One Direction member — in a fit of lad humor — wrote his number on a bathroom stall along with a phrase such as "For a good time, call."

3. This completely reputable fan, whose mother happened to have all the One Direction guys' numbers and, for the YouTuber's 17th birthday, gave her the list of digits as a present.

4. This 877 number.

5. Actually, it was probably just this website, which promises the numbers along with "real proof."

6. The "fans" are not fans at all, but the other One Direction members who are playing some kind of long-con prank on Horan.

I'd also like to point out that if I had, say, Taylor Hanson's phone number when I was 12, I would have played this very differently. No group chats (not that we had them). Instead, a carefully planned-out phone call with a script my closest girlfriends have helped me prepare. Kids today, man.