How Spencer Pratt Manipulated The Media & Why He Had That Flesh-Colored Beard

Spencer Pratt loves the sound of his voice. It's obvious from his dozens of daily Snapchats which narrate not only his own life, but also give commentary on weekly of Life & Style, US Weekly, and other gossip magazines. Pratt uses the social media device to share what's on his mind. But, he's always been like that. He's a modern maven of manipulating the media, and he divulges more on that in a new interview on Tumblr. Ever since his he first got together with Heidi Montag and formed the infamous Speidi reality duo of our dreams (and nightmares,) he has been dishing out paparazzi shots, and furthering both of their careers. Or at least trying too. The 32-year-old former, and who knows — maybe future, reality show star spoke on the phone for over two hours with an anonymous high-schooler who runs (my personal favorite) Tumblr account, Pop Culture Died in 2009. The interview is truly a treasure trove full of ridiculous insider secrets (some claiming to involve Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) and Pratt's intentional rise to infamous stardom. There's also some talk about regrets from The Hills, and his flesh-colored beard. Ahead are the 14 craziest things we learned in Pratt's Tumblr tell-all.

1. If he had to re-do The Hills, he would be even more villainous.
"I would’ve gone way harder. I would’ve done everything that I said about LC. It was true, I would’ve done it in front of paparazzi, and with, like, TMZ cameras in public streets. I would’ve just rolled up on her when she was filming and been like, “Why are you lying about this? Heidi didn’t do this. You’re a fucking liar!” And expose her right there without the power of the whole production team guarding her and making sure that she never came off wrong. I would’ve used the TMZ cameras to get the real truth, and the real story, and if The Hills wanted to follow it, whatever. I shouldn’t have sat back and let them just walk all over us. It’s one thing if you’re going to be the villain for saying all the real things and the truth. It’s another thing to be the villain for all the fake shit I just went along with. I would’ve gone way harder as a villain. "

2. He and Montag staged all their paparazzi pics.
"My good friend is the photo editor at a major magazine and he told me about how Brad & Angelina set-up and partnered with a photo agency to sell their first photos when they were seen on that random beach in Africa when they first started dating. So when I heard that Brad & Angelina did this, I was like “Uhh, why don’t I copy the most famous superstars in the world that are rich & doing this?” So that’s who I jacked the whole ’stage game’ from, once I heard that’s what they did."

3. His famous flesh-colored beard helps with his adult acne.
"I don’t think like, “Oh! It looks so cool!” I do it because I’d rather look stupid with a beard than look cool with zits. So I was like forget it, I’m going to look like a flesh-colored lumberjack."

4. The only thing "unhealthy" about his relationship with Montag is their spending habits.
"Well, I think Heidi and I are both so similar, you know, and we both love spending money so much. [...] that’d be unhealthy, our spending habits are one example."

5. Expect more music from Montag. After Pratt resolves some leftover drama with her music producer.
"But there are definitely three, in my opinion, smash hits."

6. Jason Wahler, not Pratt, tried to leak the sex tape with Lauren Conrad.
"So right there it wasn’t me — Jason is who broke the story to TMZ and Perez." He added, "That’s the bottom line, if I was making up a rumor it would’ve been way better than 'Jason and LC have a sex tape’ — the lamest thing I’ve ever heard." 7. He doesn't think The Hills would do well now.
" If you aired The Hills right now, I think people would think it’s on the Snapchat slow-motion filter."

8. He still loves crystals, but not as much as he used to.
" I used to be a legit crystal expert, but then I was like, I need all my brain space back. So I used to be able to tell you every crystal, all their spiritual meanings, all their mathematical numbers, but my brain can only retain so much at this stage in the game." 9. Someone stole his YouTube channel name.
"But I can’t get my name, I tried actually. Someone got YouTube.com/SpencerPratt back in 2007, it’s a bot or some asshole, and I can’t get it back, and YouTube won’t take accounts from people! " 10. He still supports Montag's surgeries, but admits there was a major flaw.
"We had so much going on at the time that it was just one more thing. It was like scheduling getting your nails done, that’s how much we thought about it. It was like, “Oh, I’m going to go on Wednesday and do this.” Lo and behold, nothing was minor." He added, " All of those things, if she had done it one at a time and waited nine months before the next thing, no one would’ve ever noticed, but when you do all of it at once…" 11. His dream job is to be in the White House.
"I’m on the JV team of manipulation and they’re on a pro-level, higher than I can even comprehend. But yeah, I definitely always wanted to work in the White House, and work for the president, and come up with the plans to leak stories and manipulate, etc. That and work for the CIA, obviously." 12. Together, Speidi gave away about $2 million dollars of clothing.
"That was the dumbest thing we ever did. We gave away — easily — two million dollars in clothes, 'cause we were on that whole 'we already wore it once,’ so Heidi would always give her shoes to hair and makeup people after she’d wear them once. " 13. He's a fan of most of the Kardashian clan, and he thinks they're doing it right.
"You know, I would have no problem if I never had to see Kourtney or Khloe ever again, so I could easily do without those two. But Kim, Kendall, Kylie, Caitlyn, Kris, Scott AKA ’Lord’ — they’re phenomenal. I’m from the world where I always got, “What are you even famous for?” So I love when people still get that — “What are they even famous for?” — and make millions of dollars and get to fly around in jets and get the last laugh on haters, so I’m on Team 'Hahaha, they’re famous for being rich, idiots!' " 14. Paris Hilton was his the key inspiration for his success.
"Definitely Paris Hilton, she was running the media game when we entered, so if it was anything it was definitely Paris — she gets all the credit." Also important — he's pretty entertaining and even relatable on Twitter. He's on a hot streak right now. The crystals must be servin' him right.