John Mayer Made A Beauty Vlog — & It’s Spectacular

John Mayer, beauty vlogger? Yes, it’s a thing. Believe it or not, the musician has taken to Snapchat to share his evening skin-care routine and favorite beauty hacks — and it’s spectacular. In a series of snaps titled “Skincare Secrets with John,” Mayer shares state-of-the-art techniques for stage-ready skin, along with which products help make it all happen — because inquiring minds want to know. “You know, a lot of people ask me, ‘John, what are some of your skin-care secrets?’” Mayer says in his introduction. “And I always say, 'That’s an odd question to ask me.' And they always say, 'You literally just asked me to ask you that.'” Finally, Mayer spills the secret behind that glowing skin. He launches into an impressive series of tips and tricks that puts our own evening skin-care rituals to shame. In the process, he earns the crown as our new favorite beauty vlogger. Is this real or is he half-joking? Who the hell knows? Either way, Mayer dropped some beauty tips that we, seasoned editors, had never heard before. Here’s everything we learned from Mayer’s magical snaps:

Lesson #1: Not everything celebs use is fancy. The first step in Mayer’s nighttime skin-care routine? Tying his hair back with a bandana and washing with wallet-friendly Proactiv. A tip picked up from ex and former Proactiv spokesperson Katy Perry, perhaps?

Lesson #2: Go next-level with moisturizer. After washing his face, he says, “It’s time for the night-moisturizing routine.” We lazy girls moisturize in one step. Mayer? He has a whole process to keep skin hydrated. Lesson #3: Don’t be afraid to go old-school. “My favorite line of products is Natura Bisse,” the newest Grateful Dead member shares. “I have a feeling this is used mainly by people in their 60s and 70s, but I love it.” Though Mayer features the brand’s products, a Natura Bisse spokesperson says the post was not sponsored. Wait, so this might actually be real? We're listening...

Lesson #4: Everybody loves a beauty hack. His first? “Apply lotion directly to the face,” he stresses while dotting moisturizer across his mug straight from the pump. “Applying the skin lotion to your hands and then rubbing it in your face gets a lot of lotion stuck in the crease the fingers and that's expensive.” We would want to milk every last drop when using a $590 moisturizer, too. (Mayer’s weapon of choice? Natura Bissé Diamond Life Infusion.) Lesson #5: Treat your whole visage to an eye treatment. The second of Mayer’s sneaky skin hacks? Use eye concentrate — everywhere. “Eye concentrate is really just better facial moisturizer, but more expensive, in smaller bottles. Use it,” he says while dotting the treatment all over his face. So much for the money-saving schemes.

Lesson #6: Embrace the “Offset Smiley.” This trademark Mayer technique entails applying Natura Bissé C+C Vitamin C Complex — straight from the bottle to the face, of course — along marionette lines and around the mouth, presumably to fight wrinkles that come from smiling over time. (Or making that guitar man’s O-face.) Lesson #7: Know your CNZ (Crucial Necessity Zones). We’ve been studying skin care for years and know not of CNZs. John, a little help? “That stands for 'crucial necessities zones.' These are predesignated areas where I need moisture the most,” he explains after dotting on Natura Bissé Diamond Extreme. (He calls it the pièce de résistance of his regimen, adding, “This is some crazy shit.”) For Mayer, that’s on the forehead, around the eyes, and near the jaw. Lesson #8: Don’t rush the blend. Once Mayer dots moisturizer on his face, does he take a few swipes to rub it all in? Oh no, my friends. He takes a Q-tip and slowly works each dot into the skin. This is dedication, people. Although — and we hate to be critical — it's definitely soaking up more product than fingers would...

Lesson #9: Headbutt your hydrosol. Do you spray your face mist directly onto your face? Well, quit it, Mayer says. “You do not want to spray mist directly onto your face," he deadpans. “That's far too harsh for your skin.” Instead, the singer suggests spraying the mist into the air, then headbutting it a few times. This will “set all the moisturizers you’ve put on for the night,” he says. Lesson #10: It takes a lot of money to look this rock-'n'-roll. Total tab for Meyers nighttime cleansing and hydrating skin routine? $1,457. The good news? Money-saver alert: The John Mayer Method™ requires very little in the way of toothpaste. After detailing his painstaking routine, he notes, “Now, all you have to do is brush your teeth and you’re done,” before taking a few broad swipes and chucking his toothbrush over his shoulder. “And...done.” Stay golden, John Mayer. Stay golden.