If you missed Ryan Reynolds' appearance on Conan last night, stop reading this, take a beat, stretch out one leg, and launch it at your own body. That was a serious kick-yourself oversight.
What did you miss? For starters, Reynolds confirmed that he and Blake Lively are now parents to two little girls. At least that's the impression we got from his comments about estrogen and American Girl dolls.
"Two [kids] under two is tough," he told Conan O'Brien, according to E! News. "Yeah, a lot of estrogen. It's like an American Girl doll took a shit on my life."
If you think that's an unpleasant image, brace yourself. The actor also peddled jokes about underwear made of ham — Donald Trump's sirloin steak briefs "lock in the moisture," he quipped — and manhandling the Fox News crew with his roving thumbs.
Nothing could have prepared us for The Notebook 2, however. Reynolds replaced that other Canadian Ryan in the skit, with O'Brien taking on the Rachel McAdams role. They argued, they got soaked in the rain, they made out really, really intensely.
"How's my stomach taste?" Reynolds joked to O'Brien of their make out moment.
Wow, that dude can really go from Daddy to Deadpool in 0 to 60. At least he's self-aware. Lively later posted a photo of a cookie apology from her husband, though we're not sure if it's for the make out session or the baby reveal.
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"The ways I know that @vancityreynolds got himself into huge trouble on @teamcoco tonight," she teased.
Girl, you have no idea. Let's roll the tape.