There are many misconceptions about feminism, but a big one is that women can't want equality and also a relationship, that you can't be a feminist and fall in love with a man. Meghan Markle, Suits star, proud feminist, and Prince Harry's girlfriend, just shattered that idea when she wore a necklace with their initials on it out and about this week.
The necklace is small and simple, sporting a little "H" and a little "M" for Harry and Meghan. To the actress, it's a symbol of their love, but wait: does this retro gesture feel out of place considering the essay she wrote in Elle UK just last month?
"I've never wanted to be a lady who lunches; I've always wanted to be a woman who works," she writes. "With fame comes opportunity, but it also includes responsibility – to advocate and share, to focus less on glass slippers and more on pushing through glass ceilings."
In a word: no.
As the girlfriend of royalty, Markle should know now more than ever that feminism means you don't have to choose. True feminism means these two ideas (femininity and independence) can exist in tandem, which is why her necklace is such an important statement. To fall in love, to share your relationship, to participate in stereotypically "feminine" activities — none of these are anti-feminist ideas. Modern equality means women can care about society and social justice and fall in love.
A self-identifying woman doing exactly what she wants is feminism, whether that's dating a prince, wearing heels, killing it in a meeting — or all three!