It was the shock heard around the world: Beyoncé is pregnant with twins. Yoncé was all on the Internet's mouth like liquor and, while plenty of people praised our queen for giving Black History Month the kick-off it deserves, some people had the audacity to question the timing of the announcement.
When's her due date? Isn't it too soon to announce? Based on the size of her bump, how far along is she? Y'all haters corny with that due-date-prediction mess, because when and how you choose to announce your pregnancy is a personal decision — even when you choose to share it with 93.2 million of your friends.
"Announcing an event as life-altering as a pregnancy is a big decision," says Raquel Dardik, MD, Clinical Associate Professor, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU. "People need to consider the best time to notify [their place of] work, how comfortable they are sharing the news, and whether they want to share with just close family or make a Facebook announcement — all very personal decisions," she says.
For Beyoncé, her choice to alert the Beyhive could have been her way of expressing excitement. In addition to the Instagram post, which has garnered more than 8 million likes, Bey posted some stunning maternity photos on her website, with the message, "I Have Three Hearts." So, combining all the things we know to be fact, we still don't know how far along she is and there's no real need for speculation.
The pregnancy-testing technology we have nowadays lets us find out about pregnancy soon after we become pregnant, Dr. Dardik says. It used to be difficult to confirm a pregnancy before the 12-week mark, which is also when the risk for miscarriage happens to start tapering off — but now many people find out right when the risk is highest. "A lot of people feel uncomfortable sharing news of a pregnancy when there is a possibility early on of miscarriage, so they opt to wait," she says. Some people tell their workplace on the early side for practical reasons, because they're dealing with morning sickness or are unable to travel, but even then it's totally your call when you do so. To that point, Beyoncé is headlining Coachella in April, and she hasn't said anything about canceling it.
You also don't have to tell everyone you know at the same time or even in the same way, and most people don't, Dr. Dardik says.
"My group of friends has a Friendsgiving celebration every year, and one year it happened to be just before my 12-week mark," says Laura, 33, who lives in Brooklyn. "I never thought I'd tell anyone before I made it through the first trimester, having had a miscarriage before, but the annual party felt like a good excuse to celebrate being pregnant; and we knew our friends would support us if something went wrong again."
Some people, like Nicole, 29, who lives in Staten Island, don't post about their pregnancy on social media at all. "We posted one photo of our daughter when she was born and only very few since then," she says. "I didn't have the easiest time getting pregnant and every time I saw that someone else was, it completely destroyed me and I didn't want to be the cause of that for someone else."
Dr. Dardik has a sinking suspicion that it's not actually the pregnancy people are reacting to, but rather the way she revealed it. "I think as a celebrity, Beyoncé, has chosen to announce her pregnancy in a very public manner," she says. "People are reacting to the announcement, not the fact she is pregnant."
In other words, ahem: Middle fingers up, tell 'em boy, bye.
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