Here’s What A $3,200 Valentine’s Day Restaurant Dish Looks Like

If we have learned anything from that possibly useless $750 facial, it's that "expensive" does not equal "the best." This is often true of beauty products, travel accommodations, and, we'd venture, Valentine's Day dinner options. Case in point: At Sydney restaurant Bistro Remy, you and your Valentine can share two (that's right, only one each) oysters for the prime price of $3,200 AUD. Food & Wine reports that these tasty mollusks usually cost about $4.50 AUD. In this case, however, the restaurant tacks on an extra $3,191 since each oyster is topped with an Australian South Sea pearl — obviously. Bistro Remy's executive chef Dave Whitting told Food & Wine that he "wanted to take the traditional, romantic dinner for two and make it something extraordinary. Pearls are known in mythology to strengthen relationships, so are the perfect accompaniment to our limited edition Valentine's Day entrée." But are they really? Sure, maybe this bizarre menu item is great news if you're just not feeling the whole romantic-pasta-dinner plan (or the romantic sushi plan, or the romantic tapas plan, or really any reasonably priced plan involving an actual full serving of food) for your V-Day date this year. But aside from the inordinate cost involved in this pearl-topped feast, allow us to remind you that one oyster is about seven calories. So you can rest assured that if you do decide to shell out $3K at Bistro Remy this Valentine's Day, you may leave feeling fabulous — but you will definitely leave feeling hungry. Also: You're not supposed to eat the pearls, sorry. Melania must be so disappointed.