As usual, the star of the latest Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills finale was wine-fueled feuding, but one topic gave the traditional season 7-ending argument a run for its money: Erika Jayne’s vagina. When everyone wasn’t picking sides on the Dorit Kemsley vs. Lisa “Do You Trust Your Husband?” Rinna verbal smackdown, they were commenting on the dance pop queen’s nether regions. It was all cringeworthy and uncomfortable at best, slut-shaming at worst.
Erika’s vagina first comes up in a truly bizarre way, when RHOBH grande dame Lisa Vanderpump is admiring the “Xxpen$ive” singer’s gigantic rosé party hair. Lisa’s focus immediately changes as she asks, "So what about down there? Is that pink as well?" Sadly, we can’t control, alt, delete ourselves from ever hearing that statement.
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT
Since nothing can phase the great Erika Jayne, her only response to Lisa’s awful question is, "It's just a hairless cat, don't you know? Everybody knows." Of course, the performer was referring to The Great Pantygate from earlier this season, when Dorit’s husband PK couldn’t stop staring up an underwear-free Erika’s skirt. After known introvert Erika makes a joke about her own vagina, the conversation with Lisa should be over. And, yet, it’s not.
"I'm the only one who hasn't seen it," Lisa adds with a smile. Yes, and until Erika decides to show you her downstairs, it will remain a mystery, Ms. Vanderpump. Since Lisa’s decision to stick her hand up Erika’s skirt in search of “knickers” earlier this season is what kicked off Pantygate in the first place, the musician knows exactly what to say in a talking head interview.
"Lisa Vanderpump is obsessed with my pussy. Everyone knows it," Erika states, looking right into the camera like a dance track-loving Jim Halpert.
Lisa later proves Erika might just be correct as the restaurateur pushes the pink-haired singer on a swing. Out of nowhere she asks, "Darling, have you got your drawers on?" Not missing a beat, Erika responds, "Of course I have drawers on, you bitch."
Lisa isn’t the only one who wants to talk about what’s going on underneath Erika’s bedazzled dress, as PK and Lisa’s husband Ken Todd also talk about the infamous Panygate night and its fallout. “I should have said, ‘What do you think, I’m interested in shagging you, babe?” PK says over drinks, because he’s nothing if not a total gentleman. Ken throws in his own unsettling statement, telling his friend, “You could have, you know, invited me to change places with you when you had the big clear view of the whole pussy,” because, again, he’s nothing if not a total gentleman.
If Erika Jayne decides to grace RHOBH season 8 with her unicorn presence, she deserves so much better.
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT