We're So Confused By This Sexist Cucumber Joke

Welcome to Southern Charm: Savannah, which is exactly like original recipe Southern Charm, with fewer men nearing retirement age. In place of guys who can qualify for AARP are people who seem to be working out high school trauma and drama on a national stage, with alcohol, sundresses, and an obsession with "marsh grass." While the premiere of Savannah was mostly an introduction to Bravo’s newest stars, there was still a bizarrely sexist "joke" I’m not going to forget soon.

Before the cringeworthy moment, "outsider" cast member Hannah Pearson is whipping up dinner with her boyfriend Louis Oswald and his pal Daniel Eichholz. Eventually Hannah feels like all this cooking nonsense is taking too long, as she complains, "I’m getting hangry. I’m hungry. I’m getting irritable." Instead of offering Hannah a snack amid all the food prep, Daniel responds by telling her to have sex with a giant cucumber. I know, you’re thinking, "That’s impossible, who would say that?" Daniel would say that, that’s who.

"Here, you go back there," he says, waving an approximately eight-inch phallic vegetable in Hannah’s face. "Come back in 10. You’ll be a lot more chill." When Hannah’s mouth falls open in shock, Dan digs himself further into his weird misogyny humor grave, adding, "Is 10 [minutes] not enough?" From what the cameras show, Hannah didn’t actually tell Daniel how bizarrely inappropriate his comment was — there are about 4,309,839 other better things he could have said — and Louis totally thinks his friend’s vulgar comment is funny.

While Louis laughs at Dan’s joke about his own girlfriend, if you think about it, it’s pretty dark. The long-haired lawyer is basically saying if a woman is acting "unchill," she needs to get laid, even if the only thing available to her comes from the supermarket. Not gross at all. Hannah obviously knows it’s strange she has to deal with these man-boy antics, as the business woman says in a talking head interview, "I’m like a frat house mother with Louis and his friends."

Hannah isn’t the only long-suffering woman romantically linked to the Savannah fraternity of men over 30. Cast member Catherine Cooper explains in her own interview her on-again, off-again boyfriend of 16 years, Lyle Mackenzie, is finally moving back to Savannah for good. In a Facetime conversation, the man Catherine hopes to marry one day celebrates this good news by blurting out, “How big is your bush, babe?” This cannot qualify as sexy talk since Lyle is wearing a backwards cap in that moment and Catherine immediately rubs her temples from frat star-induced stress.

At least we can all be thankful Ashley Borders' husband Dennis seems to be in the lead to win the Mauricio Umansky Award For Best Bravo Significant Other out of the entire Savannah crew. Ashley loves to go for midnight swims in near-transparent bathing suits and Dennis loves that about her. So, we love him.