Johnny Depp's Latest Role Is "Friend That's Always Late For Brunch"

People who are chronically late are the absolute worst. They screw up reservations, they lead to cancelled events, and they also can cost movie studios millions of dollars for holding up production. Now, would you be shocked to learn that Johnny Depp is one of those people that just cannot wake up in the morning, and I don't know, go to work to make millions of dollars for portraying a boozy, selfish, blinged out Captain Jack Sparrow? No, you wouldn't be at all because he totally seems like that guy. Basically, Depp is your friend that is always late to brunch, and is subsequently kicked off the group text because of his uncontrollable tendency to ruin plans. Simply put, in the words of one source from the set of Pirates 5, as told to The Hollywood Reporter: "He's not a morning person."

In a long and wild set of interviews, THR lays out a compelling story about a chronically late actor who has a monthly spending balance of $2 million and is currently in an intense lawsuit with his former management team. But more than the over-the-top spending and seemingly reckless lifestyle that sources say Depp is leading, it's his ability to never be on time that offends me most deeply, as someone who always is on time. Is anything more annoying than that one friend who is always late?!

It got so bad (so. bad.) that the production of Pirates 5 in Australia literally revolved around the unpredictable timing of the Edward Scissorhands star. An on-set source said a staff member would sit outside of Depp's rented Australian abode so that the staffer could literally alert everyone that Depp has woken up the moment his light was switched on. (Presumably hours after he was meant to have appeared on set.) "When he got up, he'd turn on the light, and the moment the light went on they'd call the line producer, who would then call the directors [Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg]: 'He's up! He's getting ready!' " the source told THR. "They even had a special code term, like 'The eagle has landed.' Johnny had no idea this was going on."

Let's take that in: a set of manic staff members on the Disney movie Pirates 5 were role playing as private detectives to guarantee that Depp would show up to work and even used code words referring to the 53-year-old actor as "the eagle" — all without him ever noticing. That is insane.

"Everyone was an innocent bystander watching this train wreck," the source added. "But when Johnny came on set, he was charming, nice. He's yin and yang."