I think we're all in agreement that Patty Jenkins directed the best possible Wonder Woman — especially because it turns out it could have been really, really bad. Last month, a 2006 Wonder Woman script, written by The Avengers' Joss Whedon, leaked online, and, as The Mary Sue points out, it's the perfect example of what not to do when writing a story about a female superhero. As you may have guessed, Twitter is having a field day.
First off, the script introduces Diana as simply "CLOSE ON: THE GIRL." The girl. Not "Diana." Not "the warrior." Not even "the woman!" The girl, which sets the tone for how her character is treated throughout the rest of the script
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"I think you're dangerous," Steve says in a later scene. "I think you mean well but you're looking for trouble and you're wildly adept at finding it. I think you've got delusions of grandeur and some actual grandeur, which is confusing. I don't like confusing. I hate the fact that I'm so attracted to you, just touching you is overwhelming and I keep hoping you'll turn around so I can see more of you naked."
And if you're not too grossed out, here's how Whedon decided to depict Diana's dancing:
"Then she moves her leg back and turns, fluidly, a curve rippling up her body as she folds into a dance that is sensual, ethereal and wicked sexy. This is not a warrior march, though it remains idiosyncratic, it is neither out of place nor unnoticed on the crowded floor."
But you don't need me to tell you just how messed up these descriptions are — Twitter's got it covered.
Thanking the entire universe for not allowing the sexist & terrible Joss Whedon Wonder Woman to ever get made. pic.twitter.com/xZrBsjmVY4
— ✨libby ✨ (@ladylibberty) June 15, 2017
"Thanking the entire universe for not allowing the sexist & terrible Joss Whedon Wonder Woman to ever get made," one fan wrote.
I'm reading Joss Whedon's original script for Wonder Woman pic.twitter.com/r0NOIrfEew
— Pauline ✨? (@Punziella) June 16, 2017
My condolences to everyone who spent last night reading and/or finding out about Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman screenplay. IT? IS? HELL??
— Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Hello_Tailor) June 16, 2017
"My condolences to everyone who spent last night reading and/or finding out about Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman screenplay," added another. "IT? IS? HELL??"
you cannot tell me Joss Whedon didn't write the original Wonder Woman script while furiously cranking his hog pic.twitter.com/bsKkyGLyv0
— Meredith (@animemoms) June 15, 2017
"You cannot tell me Joss Whedon didn't write the original Wonder Woman script while furiously cranking his hog," joked another critic.
reading the wh*don wonder woman script was never any fun but after seeing/crying at actual WW it becomes a viscerally insulting experience
— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) June 15, 2017
"Reading the wh*don wonder woman script was never any fun but after seeing/crying at actual WW it becomes a viscerally insulting experience," pointed out another, and that's really the problem. We've seen with our own two eyes just how incredible and groundbreaking the Woman Woman story can be, which proves that anything less is lazy, and relying on tired tropes and perspectives.
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On the bright side, this is an excuse to go see Jenkins' terrifically feminist Wonder Woman for the umpteenth time.