Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 14, Episode 3 Recap: "Cheers To That"

Last episode we saw Kim Kardashian let her anxiety get the best of her. After a stressful vacation in Mexico where paparazzi caught some unflattering pics, Kim became obsessed with reading all the horrible things people have to say to her. Now, she’s not in the mood to be judged at the Met Gala. This year little sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner are also attending! It’s a Kardashian-Jenner takeover.

We get an inside look at the gala preparations where each girl has specific requests: Kim wants to be cellulite-free, Kenny thinks a little more of her butt should be covered, and Kylie wants a crazy-looking body. Both Kylie and Kim have anxiety about arriving on the red carpet. On the way to the Met, Kim has a million worries. She has to pee, but will that make her stomach look bigger? Her dress gets wrinkled and they end up blowing a fuse in the van. But also, is her boob sweat showing through the dress? Her insecurities almost get the best her, but when she hits that carpet, she looks totally collected! We all know that Kim looked amazing, even if she “was about to throw up.”

Back on the west coast, Kourtney has been planning up a storm for her new boo. Both her sisters are staying super quiet about her romantic life because Kourtney is so easily scared. Here’s the plan: kids are heading to Auntie Khloe’s for the night, her man will receive a wallet with a hotel key card in it, and the two of them will spend an amazing night together. But we won’t be getting any more details than that. Even her sister’s aren’t!

At Koko’s, Mason, Penelope, and Reign skip in wearing matching onesies and necklaces! It’s a cuteness overload. The next morning, Kim and Northie join the party to make cupcakes! Well, North is making cupcakes. Kim and Khloe are having a private workout sesh wearing head-to-toe Yeezy, of course. And then guess who waltz in? Khloe wastes no time getting right to the chase and asks Kourtney about her night. As if that would work. Kourtney plays it real cool and refuses to tell any secrets. Besides, Khloe has so much to say about Kourt’s kids! Reign got way too excited and pulled some of her fur carpet out. You’re never too young to make a political statement.

Speaking of moms and rambunctious kids, Khloe sets aside special time for Kris Jenner. But Kris is a working mom with six kids and six grandkids and dips out on her. So, instead of Mommy and me time, Khloe gets stuck waiting for brownies to bake while Kris heads out to a meeting.

While the tabloids are still rocking with the bikini pics from Mexico, Kourtney’s date photos are also taking the world by storm. She’s pretty proud of how she “escaped the paps,” but they still got the pics. Kim is freaking out about every single photo on the internet. She wonders “Why do I subject myself to going out and being seen?” Jonathan and Kourtney immediately try to get rid of that mindset. It’s just not healthy for anyone to want to stay indoors all the time. Still, Kim’s anxiety is getting worse and worse.

Kourtney celebrates a new internet milestone. Wikipedia changed her height from five foot to five feet one inch! Good for her. She, Khloe, and Jonathan devise a plan to delete all of Kim’s social media. In Jonathan’s words, they want to “recalibrate her.” While Kim is constantly trying to cover her but, Kourtney bares it all so Khloe can use her new Fascia Blaster on her. It’s supposed to get rid of dimples and cellulite, but apparently Kourtney’s butt is blemish-free. Lucky her!

Khloe heads to her mom’s place so that they can finally have their special day together. But Kris has to go look at pop-up shop locations and can’t make it. Khlo feels like it’s one thing to be busy, but it’s another to give Khloe a hard time about always being gone. The Kardashian ladies are always on to the next thing, so it’s going to take some serious planning to get just the two of them in the same room for an extended period of time. But if there’s anything that ten years of Keeping Up With The Kardashians has taught me, it’s that family always prevails. And that a lavish family vacation will happen before the end of the season.

“Sometimes I just miss you so much and you’re so far away,” Kris admits to Khloe. They have a very sweet apology and Kris heads right out the door! But not before making plans for the next day. Mommy-daughter day will happen!

Kim comes over to Khloe’s and her sisters start their sneaky little plan. Step one: Khloe pulls Kim away by saying she needs to clean out her closet. That basically backfires because Kim spends the whole time making fun of her pieces. Khloe says “This I’ve already worn,” and Kim doesn’t even hesitate before saying “Yeah, everyone has.” She’s ruthless and I love her.

Step two: Kourtney asks for Kim’s phone to “call the kids” and while Kimmy’s away, deletes all of her social media apps. Well, as many as she can. When Kim comes back downstairs, she basically catches Kourtney red-handed. “What is this? The Daily Mail? TMZ? You’re blocking them?” she asks.

“You can never go on these again,” Kourtney replies dramatically.

The sisters earnestly tell Kim that they think the news is affecting her anxiety. It’s a caring moment, but Kim seems so unbothered. It’s going to take a lot more that a few blocks to cool her stress.

At the same time, all three sisters are exposing their horrible media literacy. “The Daily Mail? That’s how I get all my news,” Kim genuinely says. While they’re at it, Kourtney should download the BBC News app or something. That would be the case, but Kourt’s reply is basically “I don’t read the news and I’m fine.” Let’s just blow by this. We all know we don’t watch Keeping Up for the political commentary. We’re here for the outfits and butt jokes.

The next day, Kris and Khloe have a gorgeous wine tasting adventure. By adventure I mean, a trip across the world via their wine glasses. Bottles later, Kris suggests they do prank calls. But instead of calling Kourtney or someone normal, she calls the hotel and a bakery! At one point, she’s just asking about the seasonal pastries. Not sure if Kris is the best or the worst at prank calls. One thing’s for sure, she’s an amazing mom! She vows to make more time for Khloe next time she’s in town.

Although so much of the Kardashian-Jenner’s lives revolve around drama and the news, episodes where the family is just being a family are always the best. Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe will do whatever it takes to look out for each other, even if that means hijacking Kim’s phone. And we can always count on Kris to remind us of the golden rule: wine fixes everything.