Last night, Jordan Kimball delivered pretty much his only useful contribution to The Bachelorette franchise: his passionate speech about being a Wilhelmina model. Did you know Kimball's a model? For Wilhelmina. It's what some people consider the top. Don't ask me what of. Just the top.
This all went down after Kimball's nemesis David Ravitz pushed one-too-many buttons, snitching on him to Bachelorette Becca Kufrin. Turns out, you shouldn't brag about reaching 4,000 matches on Tinder in front of a group of guys who are vying for the same woman's heart. Luckily, Kufrin had a sense of humor about the whole thing — but Kimball, however, did not.
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"I just had to go and talk to Becca," he tells Ravitz after smoothing things over with Kufrin, later telling him that, "Your perception is your reality, and your reality is not the same reality as mine. So I think you need to chill out, have a drink, and stop talking to me."
But Kimball was just getting started. As the rest of the men snickered behind their pillows and drinks, this male model was having none of it, unleashing on Ravtiz a speech that will go down in Bachelorette history. Let's break it down:
"It's funny you think I'm a joke. I'm a Wilhelmina model."
Huh?
"I don't think you know what that means."
Correct.
"I have an image, and if you're trying to tear down my image and my three-year contract with them, it's actually pretty serious. It's something some people consider the top."
"So if you're trying to do that, you're failing at it, because guess what?"
What!
"Attached to me is professionality."
Not a word.
"It's my face. It's in everything I do. It's the way I walk and it's the way I talk, okay?"
Okay.
"So, if you want to try to wreck my image, you'll never succeed. You know why? Because my image is me."
That is the problem, my dude!!
Speaking of, you can check out the face that earned 4,000 matches in action below: