You’ve come to the right place, because today we have a special edition of The Petty Report. The cast of characters includes noted rapper 50 Cent, whose last hit, “In Da Club,” was released in 2003; and Ja Rule, who recently doubled down on the “brilliant idea” that was the half-baked Fyre Festival, for which he narrowly escaped facing a $100 million lawsuit. These two rappers have been feuding for as long as the years have begun with the number 2. And 50 Cent is keeping the, uh, fyre alive with his latest stunt: he bought $3,000 worth of empty seats to a Ja Rule show.
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Complex initially reported that in a now-deleted post, he wrote, “People think I'm mean so go see this. $15 bucks wait what I do now LOL,” apparently referencing the fact that tickets to the Ja Rule show in question were being sold for $15 on Groupon. Fiddy made good on his threat, and did actually purchase the seats from the discount dealer with the expressed purpose of keeping them empty.
Fiddy took to Instagram to share his petty deed with the poor, unsuspecting world. He shared an “artistic rendering” of himself seated amongst rows of empty chairs, with a forlorn-looking crowd of white people behind him. A kid is pouting. Someone is checking their phone. But the “artistic rendering” of 50 Cent is clad in a bright blue business suit, and he is positively stoked. He’s mid-clap with a giant smile, like he’s watching his child perform at a talent show. “What a show, I mean just fucking great. Do it again my kid went to the restroom. LOL,” he wrote, clearly reveling in the execution of his pettiness. A surprising move back to top, after 50 Cent’s Power character Kanan Stark was killed off the show.
As we chug through Scorpio season, we’d like to note that 50 Cent is a Cancer — and even though Cancers have soft shells, crabs have pincers for a reason. Ball’s in your court, Ja Rule. Pusha T and Drake should take some notes.