When the online dating service Ashley Madison was infamously hacked in 2015, some people (me) thought that there's no way a website that actually helps people have affairs could continue to be a legitimate thing. But here we are, in 2018, and the site with the tagline "Life is short. Have an affair." is still going strong.
While affairs are often associated with lying, sneaking around, and secrets, the latest data from Ashley Madison reveals that many people are being upfront with their affair partners about their other relationships, which leads to "better" experiences.
“Of course, being open and honest with their spouse about their wants and needs seems like it would be a priority, but it’s not always easy to communicate in a marriage," Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist said in a statement given to Refinery29. "So, opening up to someone who is going through similar stress at home or talking openly with someone about what you truly desire might be a factor in sharing honestly with a potential affair partner – maybe it’s the pressure itself that takes some of the pressure off.”
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In another maybe not-as-shocking development, Ashley Madison found that 69% of women put in more effort to keep affairs under wraps versus their male counterparts. Women were also much more concerned with being caught in the act with their affair partner rather than their spouse finding out.
Ashley Madison also summarized the main reasons that men and women find it "easy" to begin an affair. The top reason for women was honesty with their affair partner, while the top for men was "there are lots of people who are open to being in an affair." Interpret that as you wish.
The bottom line: cheating is complicated and every situation is different. How you deal with it is entirely up to you.