Netflix may not be gifting us new episodes of Stranger Things for the holidays this year, but it is doing the next best thing.
On Sunday, the official Stranger Things Twitter account teased its biggest season 3 spoilers yet, and they may make you want to race through the next few months so you can finally live in the summer of 1985.
Per a video posted to the show's official account, that's exactly when Stranger Things season 3 — set to return on an unspecified date in 2019 — will take place.
While we don't know exactly what's going down in the summer of 1985 (other than the massive commercial success of Wham!), the account also revealed the upcoming season's episode titles. And these chapter titles? Dig a little deeper, and they could suggest major spoilers.
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"Suzie, Do You Copy?"
"The Mall Rats"
"The Case of the Missing Lifeguard"
"The Sauna Test"
"The Source"
"The Birthday"
"The Bite"
"The Battle of Starcourt"
In the summer of 1985, the adventure continues... pic.twitter.com/m3s6hyJL8k
— Stranger Things (@Stranger_Things) December 10, 2018
So far, we haven't met a character named "Suzie," though Max (Sadie Sink) does have a mother named Susan, played by Jennifer Marshall. Given her small part in the second season, there is likely no relation, suggesting this Suzie is a brand-new character we've yet to meet.
My theory is that Suzie is someone stuck in the Upside Down, much in the way Will (Noah Schnapp) was during season 1. ("Do you copy" suggests they're communicating via walkie talkies, just as they would communicate with Will.) If this is the case, we may already know who Suzie is. Maya Hawke is set to portray a new character who, per Variety, uncovers a "dark secret" about Hawkins that puts her in danger.
As for "The Mall Rats," a promo for the third season revealed Steve (Joe Keery) working at Hawkins' brand-new "Starcourt Mall." Will an inter-dimensional battle take place just this side of the pretzel stand in the finale?
Ahoy! Something is coming... to Hawkins, Indiana! pic.twitter.com/BI4wFRVzvB
— Stranger Things (@Stranger_Things) July 16, 2018
The rest of the titles offer us nothing more that speculation, though I think it's safe to assume that the lifeguard could be missing thanks to the dangerous experiments conducted in Hawkins' less-than-ethical lab. For what it's worth, Hawke's character is described as someone "bored with her mundane day job," and lifeguard at a public pool does sound fairly snoozy.
We won't know for sure what these episode titles mean until Netflix finally drops the show's third act, but at least we know we're in for one wild summer.