We Planned The Menu For Kim Kardashian's "Zen-Like CBD-Themed" Baby Shower

We hear Kim Kardashian is interested in throwing a CBD-themed baby shower. Because she's so stressed about the prospect of a fourth baby, she's turned to the trendy cannabinoid known for its anxiety-reducing qualities. And while her baby shower politics are questionable, she might be onto something. Which is why we went ahead and planned the menu for her — no need to thank us, Kim.

For a baby shower that provides guests with total comfort and relaxation, we recommend a starter of spicy meatballs with crunchy pine nuts and toast points from the James Hotel NoMad tasting menu in New York. A table-long cheese board with swirling rows of crackers is also in order, with mounds of CBD-infused cheese to be drizzled with only the finest CBD-infused raw honey from Colorado Hemp Honey ($50 a jar).

We’re sure the chefs behind the Velvet Buck’s CBD tasting menu currently under development at the St. Regis Aspen would also be happy to fly in and work with Kim on developing a menu. After all, they source their high quality CBD from the same provider that supplies the hotel's famous spa. In fact, a CBD-oil massage sounds like the perfect compliment.

But surely a Kardashian would want to customize her menu. In that case, Elevation VIP is a dispensary based out of L.A. that focuses on innovative ways to combine cannabinoids and organic, locally-sourced and seasonal ingredients, which might be exactly what Kim is looking for. Picture a three course meal including Elevation VIP’s warm winter squash soup charged with CBD and served with homemade croutons, toasted walnuts and drizzled with, you guessed it, CBD-infused lemon oil. They can probably offer a CBD-infused version of their seared duck slivers with chanterelle mushrooms and cauliflower for the main course.

For dessert, however, the options are truly endless.

The hottest Kardashian-worthy CBD-infused treat that recently hit the market are Spectrum Jelly Beans, brought to you by the former Mr. Jelly Belly himself. And because each batch is made to order, the K-Klan can have 8,000 CBD jelly beans made in their preferred shade of Yeezy beige. They can have bowls the size of North West herself flanking the entrances.

We think a candy tower is also in order, if not for the sole reason that the CBD food market is dominated by sweets: The top tier will glisten with dazzling CBD oil and Icelandic berry gumdrops from Lord Jones. The middle tier could be brimming with cookies and brownies from the online CBD-baked good purveyor, HempMe. While the bottom tier will be skirted with a rainbow of CBD lollipops from the historic Flower Power. And at the center of every table, bowls full of the gem-like treasures of Drip Sweets, the female-owned company from Portland, Oregon that makes crystal-shaped candies in flavors like, citrus and coconut matcha.