Why BIP Stars Adam Gottschalk & Raven Gates Are Getting Married Without You

For all the haters that say that The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Bachelor In Paradise don’t produce long-lasting love, well… you’re statistically at least half right. But every once in a while, there’s a glimmer of hope, a few special Bachelor-verse couples that find each other at the right place (usually Paradise), at the right time (on TV), and fall genuinely in love.

This time around, Raven Gates, from Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor, and Adam Gottschalk, of Rachel Lindsay’s season of The Bachelorette, found love in a hopeless place, and now they’re engaged. But then come the things we fans are used to getting updates about, like for starters, when Adam and Raven are getting married. Unfortunately, this Bachelor In Paradise couple insists that a television wedding is not in the cards, and that means fewer personal details for fans, too.

Adam and Raven have always done this whole public romance thing a little differently, though. They met on Bachelor In Paradise season 4 and instantly clicked. They spent all their time together on the show, and then they opted not to get engaged at the end of the three weeks (pretty understandable, actually) but to instead date in the real world and see how it went. Why, what a fantastic and fairly normal idea for a Bachelor pair to agree on! It went pretty well, because Adam asked Raven to marry him in July of 2019, and Raven said "yes."

Raven shared the engagement news, along with very extensive video of the proposal planning, on Instagram, with the caption:

Adam’s behind the scene story of our proposal.
So many people don’t get to see how thoughtful, planned out, funny, giving, loving, and sweet Adam truly is ❤️ Every Wednesday I’m going to share a little bit about our wedding planning ?✨?? and this Wednesday I’m starting from the VERY beginning even before I knew! ?Next week, I’ll show you some of my wedding preparations and favorite engagement gifts I’ve gotten so far. ??
My heart is full of love and happiness watching this, I hope yours is too!
#weddingwednesday"

In an exclusive interview with E! News, Adam said that he started the proposal under the guise of having a photo shoot for Raven’s boutique, and that’s all she thought it was — just a regular business-related day. “[Raven] did a few practice runs and then the videographer slipped me the ring and once [Raven] threw the petals up, I got down on one knee,” Adam said. “I blacked out, but I got everything out that I wanted. I legitimately broke down and cried." Later, all of their friends met them for a big celebration.

Adam also pointed out that Raven's ring is not from Neil Lane, and they’re probably the only couple in the franchise to get together on the show (see: Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon, who did their own thing) and actually pick out and pay for their own diamond.

Adam and Raven are also not into the whole “wedding on TV” thing. During a taping of Rose Buds: The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever, Adam said, “We personally have been offered lots and lots of money to have a wedding televised and aired… [but] we don't want to do it. I feel like we are going to do things very organic."

But when are these two getting hitched? Unfortunately for Bachelor fans used to knowing every little detail, it doesn’t sound like it’s up for us, the public, to know. Adam expressed on the same episode of the Rose Buds podcast that while he and Raven are happy fans care about them, sharing the big moments in their lives has to be on their terms.

They’re taking their time, and, as Raven told Kaitlyn Bristowe on her podcast Off The Vine, even going to interfaith counseling because Raven is Christian and Adam is Jewish. They’re making sure that this whole thing is right before they jump into it. How legitimately refreshing for a franchise built on three-month romances! Adam and Raven are marching away from the Bachelor beat and into something that's more true to themselves, and that’s pretty nice.