The current season of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules might be the series’ most tumultuous installment yet, marked by the introduction of new faces (I’m still on the fence about most of them) and the total dissolution of the show’s seemingly-strongest relationships. The conflict between the self-proclaimed Witches of WeHo has reached its boiling point, with disappointing real life consequences that are playing out for the world to see.
Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney-Schwartz, and Kristen Doute have been thick as thieves since we met them back in 2013. In the years since the show’s premiere, the trio has made it through catfights, cheating, and more, leading us to believe that the love between the mean girls would last forever. Last season, however, the cracks started to show in their friendship, hinging on Kristen’s toxic relationship with her on-again, off-again boyfriend Brian Carter. In season 8, that connection is now almost completely broken apart.
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On this week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Kristen learned that Stassi and Katie are no longer interested in collaborating with her to run their wine brand Witches of WeHo because of their frayed relationship. In conversation with resident gossip Scheana Shay, Katie shit-talked Kristen’s other hustle, the James Mae t-shirt brand. “I could print t-shirts with Pinterest quotes, too,” sniped Mrs. Maloney-Schwartz.
Kristen reacted to the diss in the Vanderpump Rules after show with her own shade. "What the fuck are you doing?" she said of her former-friends' decision to step away from the wine company. "You literally do nothing! Because you have a fucking podcast and a book, you think you're the queen of England? Fuck you."
Of course, that didn't sit well with Katie and Stassi, sparking an issue so serious that it made its way to Twitter. Kristen tweeted out what appeared to be a sincere apology; she told her followers that she was't above admitting that she might have gone too far because of her anger.
I just watched a VPR aftershow where it feels like I was insulting @stassi work ethic. I 💯 think Stass has built a brand for herself and I’ve always been proud of her. I was angry about the wine company at that time and i want to publicly correct my opinion.
— kristen doute 🦒🤟🏽 (@kristendoute) March 25, 2020
But it was too late — Stassi had seen the after show already, and she was pissed.
"I’ve never once said a word about the things @kristendoute work on," Stassi quote tweeted Kristen's explanation. "Cool, that you’re 'not apologizing' for making fun of my podcast/how I’m probably going to come crashing down/that no one will want to listen to it when I’m 40."
I’ve never once said a word about the things @kristendoute work on. Cool, that you’re “not apologizing” for making fun of my podcast/how I’m probably going to come crashing down/that no one will want to listen to it when I’m 40. https://t.co/MWMLfM5QSq https://t.co/u6GuPQg8lw
— Stassi Schroeder (@stassi) March 25, 2020
Katie jumped in with her own two cents. "She doesn't get it...and may never will," she tweeted of Kristen.
This may be the drama Bravo fans in self-isolation may have never known that we needed (listen, quarantine gets boring sometimes!), but like most personal feuds, this really could have been handled off the internet.
We've still got a few more episodes until the season finale of Vanderpump Rules, and the reunion will likely be postponed until Bravo figures out a way to host the show safely in light of the coronavirus. But if we ever get these three in a room together, the viewers at home will probably need more than a few bottles of the Witches of WeHo potion to get through it.