8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Sep 08 2015

President Obama extends paid sick leave to federal contractors because, shockingly, people who do business with the government also get sick At an event with labor leaders in Boston, President Barack Obama announced his intent to sign a new executive order that will grant paid sick leave to an estimated 300,000 workers. The action will require companies that conduct business with the government to provide their workers seven days (56 hours) of paid sick leave each year. This is just the latest in a series of executive actions that have increased benefits for workers — earlier this year, the president expanded paternal leave and overtime eligibility. The sick leave policy will begin in 2017. (Politico)

Kayaker who survived a shark bite says he “really respects them” now, the rest of us are just fine learning to respect them which watching Shark Week on our couch A California man, who was bitten by a hammerhead shark while kayaking near Malibu, says he has a newfound respect for the animal. Dylan Marks, 29, was fishing for sharks off the coast when a ten-foot hammerhead bit his foot. Marks, who was airlifted to the hospital, claims he will no longer hunt sharks and would never refer to the encounter as an attack. (ABC News)

Serena Williams’ next opponent at the U.S. Open will be her sister, Venus — and you thought your sibling rivalry was intense After easily defeating 19th-seeded U.S. player Madison Keys, 6-3, 6-3 on Sunday, Serena Williams is set to encounter her most familiar opponent yet: No. 23, her own sister, Venus. This will only be the 27th time the Williams sisters face off in their long and illustrious careers. Fans wonder if Venus will be the one to disrupt her sister’s historic quest to obtain all four major tennis titles in a single year, something that has been done by only one woman, Maureen Connolly, in 1953. (Washington Post)

New Apple TV will be gaming-focused, which is great for all your Apple-obsessed exes since they clearly LOVE playing games SO MUCH (Just answer the text, Derek!) It’s believed that the next Apple TV will be unveiled on Wednesday at the company’s annual media event. According to rumors, the new Apple TV comes equipped with Siri, fully embraces third-party apps, and has a new dedicated remote that doubles as a gaming controller. Insiders also say that Apple is working on its own television subscription service, but that launch may have been pushed back as television networks are hesitant to cut deals. (New York Times)

E.U. farmers throw eggs at officers in Brussels to protest plunging milk and meat prices, and your teachers said food fights weren’t productive Thousands of farmers swarmed European Union buildings in Brussels to express their anger over falling milk and meat prices. Protestors threw eggs, stones, and firecrackers at officers and attempted to break through a cordon using two tractors. The protest was timed to coincide with an E.U. agriculture ministers’ emergency meeting to discuss the farming crisis caused by overproduction and Russian’s ban on E.U. food imports. (The Guardian)

China: Through The Looking Glass is a blockbuster, accidentally

The Met created an uber-successful exhibit with this year's Costume Center exhibit China: Through The Looking Glass. It surpassed their previous Alexander McQueen exhibit to become the most visited in the museum's history. More than 761,000 pairs of shoes walked through to check it out. Want to join them? Too late, after an extension it is now closed. Time to get ready for next May's big Costume Center look! (The Daily Beast)

Kansas State University marching band apologizes for accidental NSFW halftime show formation; move aside, Left Shark — a new halftime star’s in town

At the season opener for the Wildcats football team, Kansas State University’s marching band attempted to depict the starship Enterprise defeating a Jayhawk (the mascot for the opposing team) during a Star Trek and Star Wars-themed halftime show. Unfortunately for the band, fans in the stands couldn’t recognize the misshapen spaceship and instead saw something more, um, adult in nature. In short: it looked like a giant penis was wiggling around the field. Band director Frank Tracz issued a statement apologizing for the “misinterpretation.” (ESPN)

Taylor Swift now has a hand-knit sweater featuring a Polaroid of herself — Swift has reached peak Swift

An anonymous Taylor Swift fan found a crafty way to prove her devotion to the star: after the singer’s show at Denver’s Pepsi Center, Swift posted an Instagram in which she donned a hand-knit sweater featuring a Polaroid picture of herself. The sweater, which was given to Taylor’s mom, is a detailed recreation of a picture that appears on Swift’s 1989 album. The gift has “very quickly become my everything,” wrote Swift. (People)