10.
I have a disturbing obsession with Cold Stone ice cream. The guy who works the store near me knows my order by memory: cake batter ice cream, two Oreos, and one brownie. Yes, it’s sad. But also delicious.
9.
My only non-cyber officemate is my four-pound Yorkie, Foxy, whose only real expertise is rolling over to show her belly. Why can’t she be more like this guy?
8.
I claim to be a Miami native, but, really, I moved here when I was seven years old. I’m originally from a town in New Jersey located just over the bridge from where they film Jersey Shore. I would totally rock the Snooki poof if I still lived there.
7.
Both of my parents are 100-percent Cuban. Don’t let the blonde hair and lack of accent fool you. Catch me on a bad day, and I'll gesture wildly with the best of them.
6.
I once danced with John Mayer inside an unmarked Rastafarian bar in Downtown Los Angeles, after he paid for me, one of my girlfriends, Bob Saget, and three other randoms, to get inside. The best night of my life.
5.
My first real job (other than working for my father) was at a TCBY. On my second night, they asked me to clean the chili containers inside the Nathan’s hotdog stand. That was my last day working there.
4.
Although I prefer Suzi Squeeez, each morning I try to make myself a green juice with a fancy juicer I bought after watching
Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead
. That documentary does more for the juicer industry than any infomercial I’ve ever seen!
3.
I’m a vintage junkie whose favorite hunting spots are Shareen Vintage in Los Angeles and my mother’s closet (but don’t tell her!).
2.
I have a picture of myself carrying an Oscar in each hand. While the photo makes me look important, really, I was just holding them for director Paul Haggis (who had just won a few Academy Awards for Crash) while he drank a cocktail. Ah, the life of a Hollywood assistant. I don’t miss it one bit.
1.
I’m currently planning my big, fat, Cuban wedding, scheduled for early February 2012. And yes, I’m wearing a gown by Lazaro, a Cuban designer.
Photo: By Camilo Rios/Courtesy of The Webster.