A Week In Virginia On A $158,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Academic advisor
Industry: Higher education
Age: 34
Location: Virginia
Joint salary: $158,000 (my salary: $44,600). My husband, C., and I fully combine our finances (though his tithing is based on a percentage of his income alone). We use a credit card upfront (I have a companion card) for day-to-day expenses (groceries, gas, Target runs, etc.) plus a few specific bills, and pay it off in full from a joint checking account each month. I keep a few hundred dollars each pay period in my own individual account for splurge items for myself, gifts for C. and so on. 
Assets: Retirement balance: ~$30,000 in a couple of different accounts. I am a military spouse; we have moved four times in the last five years and I spent the last two and a half years at home with our kids. C. will have a military pension at retirement based on his rank at ~25 years in. He also has retirement accounts currently totaling ~$270,000. Equity: about $223,000. C. bought the house before we met; I’m not sure how much he put down. Savings account balance: HYSA (which acts as our emergency fund) has ~$30,000. Checking account balance: since the payday at the end of my diary it’s ~$10,000 (about $8,800 from paychecks and housing allowance). C. makes about $113,000, plus we get a housing allowance of a little over $2,900 a month. This is a military benefit; it’s based on the location of the base, your rank and whether you have dependents.
Debt: Student loan debt: $105,000, but I am on track for public service loan forgiveness in another five years. Car loan: $28,000 (we bought it new in 2022 and put $20,000 down).
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $1,600 (since writing I have also opened 529 accounts for the kids, with contributions automatically deducted from my paycheck. I also adjusted my retirement contributions so my take-home pay is more like $1,400 per paycheck/$2,800 per month and the kids each get $100 a month to their 529. Each is sitting around $200 right now).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Rent: $2,880. We also have a mortgage for the house we own but the tenant rent covers it ($1,600).
Loan payments: $792 a month (car).
Savings contribution: $500
Donations: C. is religious and tithes $800 a month.
Electric: $200
Other utilities: $155
Wi-fi/cable: $120
Cell phone: $160
Subscriptions: $60 (Netflix, Prime, Paramount and Disney+).
Pet expenses: $341 insurance. We have a dog with epilepsy and a senior cat with ongoing medical issues. On a normal month (where we only go in for meds) we break even, but we get credit card points this way and when more significant expenses come up, we don’t have to worry about being out hundreds or thousands of dollars. Our plan covers 70% of accident and illness visits for the dog and 80% for the cat (we just adjusted coverage down at the beginning of August since the cost has been jumping up every year — we know it’s still outrageous).
School tuition: $2,000. This is with a military discount for one kid and a sibling discount for the other kid (5% off for each).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. My dad didn’t go to college but my mom went back as an adult when I was in elementary school and has always prioritized it, so it was never a question that I would go. I did not qualify for financial aid and took out loans for both undergrad and grad school.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Not a lot. I never knew the details of their finances other than observing a pattern of behavior where my dad would spend money on something he wanted and my mom would stress about it. They are very anti-credit card and as a result I didn’t get one until I was 26.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked on a trail managed by my school district when I was 14, mostly just because I thought it would be a fun experience (and it was). My first typical teen job was stocking shelves at a library as part of a teen work program my city offered; I was 18 for that.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I didn’t have to think about it, so I didn’t.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I don’t worry about putting food on the table. We are comfortable and privileged and I married someone smarter with money than I was, which helps. Now that I am a little less naive, I worry about my long-term planning — I know I haven’t saved enough for my age and I want to be able to start 529s for my kids and get these loans forgiven. The loans are probably my top worry, though I know I’m on the right track for forgiveness.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
It was a step-by-step thing to be sure. I moved into my first apartment on my own in grad school (age 23) and was paying most of my own bills but I was still on my parents’ health insurance. I got my own insurance at 26 but my phone was on their plan until I was 29. I could absolutely call my parents or in-laws if we needed something.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My dad sends me $200 a month because he wanted to pay for my undergrad but at the time I had to take out loans. It’s extremely thoughtful of him and I have told him repeatedly that he doesn’t need to do it. For the last few years I haven’t made a payment (with PSLF (public service loan forgiveness) you can’t pay ahead or it won’t count as a qualifying payment) but now that I’m working again, that money will be going to my loan payment, which will probably be around $150.

4:30 a.m. — I wake up to the sound of our dog having a seizure. She is a nine-year-old greyhound with epilepsy that is mostly controlled by a combination of medications, but my husband, C., is out of town with some friends this weekend, which almost always results in at least one seizure. I go downstairs with a pillow to stop her from falling (in case she’s on the couch) but she is lying on the floor in the entryway so I just sit with her for a minute until it passes. I end up sitting on the stairs for another 15 minutes while she paces and gets back to normal before trying to get some more sleep.

5:45 a.m. — My alarm goes off. It’s Sunday but I have to take care of the animals before the kids get up because our dog takes her medication in peanut butter and one of my kids is allergic to it. I also prefer to shower before they get up when C. is out of town because they rarely let me take one once they’re up (usually only if I turn on Sesame Street and right now our TV is broken). I decide to risk the shower and snooze until 6 a.m. before going downstairs and feeding the pets.

6:13 a.m. — Both kids come into my room asking if it’s morning yet. My two-year-old, L., immediately melts down because she wants a banana and yogurt and we are out of bananas.

7 a.m. — The girls have yogurt, toast and an orange for breakfast and go upstairs to play. I sneak some cereal so they don’t ask for any and then fold some of their laundry.

8 a.m. — The kids are playing suspiciously quietly but I use the time to get a few chores done and make some coffee. I open my Todoist app and jot down some things I need to do this week: get a pill organizer for the dog, buy rain gear for the girls (we moved from CA so they haven’t needed raincoats before), get updated to the East Coast Tricare so I can get a new birth control prescription. Mostly I’m enjoying the unexpectedly long stretch of peace but I know I need to shower soon before they get bored with each other.

9 a.m. — After coffee I take a shower and get the girls into swimsuits to go hang out with a friend of mine at her parents’ pool. We don’t need to leave for close to an hour but they’re getting impatient and I don’t mind if they want to play in their suits for a while. I got us all matching suits from Coolibar earlier in the summer; I love that they have full-coverage options. Every minute I don’t have to spend putting sunscreen on a toddler is a blessing.

9:40 a.m. — I help the girls pick up their playroom and decide to leave early so we can swing by Target on the way. The girls have been sharing one floatie that clips around the chest and I don’t want to be taking it off and on all morning so I pick up some regular inflatable arm floaties for my four-year-old, G., plus juice boxes for the kids and a box of sparkling water for the adults. My friend’s parents are hosting us and providing lunch for the kids so I don’t want to show up empty-handed. $31.33

10:40 a.m. — We arrive! We spend the next hour and a half swimming, snacking and chatting. I am so grateful for my mom village. This friend and I went to grad school together 10 years ago and I don’t think we had seen each other since but we had kids around the same time and reconnected via Instagram and here we are! I love my friends without kids but it is really nice to have people in the same stage of life.

1:30 p.m. — Neither kid fell asleep in the car so I am hoping L. takes a real nap but she’s been fighting them at home lately.

3 p.m. — Nap is totally unsuccessful. L. sits in her bed and flips through books for an hour before I let her get up and decide to take them to the store. Normally we go to the base commissary after church on Sundays but since C. isn’t home, I skipped church and there are closer grocery stores to our house, so we go to Harris Teeter instead. I get some snacks and lunch stuff for the kids, pre-made lasagne, ingredients for cheese enchiladas, and ciabatta rolls for our dinner recipe tonight, along with some staples. Between those and leftovers from the last couple nights, we should have dinner for the week. The cashier applies the store card for me so we save $20. $187.60

4:30 p.m. — We get home and are officially in the hell that is the no-nap evening. The girls are off the wall and not listening to anything and I end up yelling at them while trying to finish putting away groceries. I feel bad about it immediately.

5:15 p.m. — I go upstairs to apologize and get down the dress-up bin for G. and L. They’re super excited and all is forgiven but then they refuse to stay in the playroom and run around the kitchen while I’m trying to make dinner.

5:40 p.m. — C. comes home! He takes the girls upstairs to play so I can focus. Tonight I’m making Mediterranean roasted veggie sandwiches. It’s a recipe from EveryPlate; we don’t have a subscription anymore but kept our cards from a few years ago and use them all the time.

7 p.m. — We eat dinner around 6:30 p.m. and C. cleans up while I move to our other annoying daily pet task: cleaning the litter box. Our 11-year-old cat has either inflammatory bowel disease or small cell intestinal lymphoma and takes prednisone daily to keep his inflammation down. Recently his symptoms have returned and are worse than ever. He gets terrible diarrhea that thankfully is contained in the litter box but means that pretty much every day I have to wash the whole thing out. He also has a new tendency (since moving, so only started a couple weeks ago) of peeing upstairs in our girls’ bathroom on a towel on the floor, so we are doing a lot of laundry… He’s a mess but we aren’t sure how much time he has left with us, so I deal with it. G. and L. are now batshit wild from being overtired and are just screaming and running through the kitchen but I am clocking out after a weekend of solo parenting, so I let C. handle it.

9 p.m. — While C. did bedtime with the girls, I changed our sheets and continued working on the neverending laundry. I fold the kids’ clothes while listening to The Gift of Fear audiobook and go upstairs to scroll before bed. C. and I talk about the cat; he is not looking good and we are sad for him and for the girls, who will probably be dealing with pet loss much earlier than I would have hoped.

6 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I shower. C. gets up before me to run and work out and I hear him come in the door, which is good because before I can even step into the shower, L. is at my bathroom door. I direct her to him and hear G. not far behind. He takes the girls for the first part of the morning and makes them breakfast and packs their bags for school. I take over around 6:40 a.m. and get them dressed, hair brushed and teeth brushed so he can shower and get ready for work too. We leave at 7:15 a.m.

7:50 a.m. — Last week was L.’s first time in full-time childcare and she’s still adjusting. She has a great time but dropoff is still hard. She cries this morning and I let her know Daddy will pick her up this afternoon (I do dropoffs, C. does pickups) and I head to work. Normally I will work pretty close to our house but I am “training” in another city and this gives me just enough time to get there by 8:30 a.m.

8:40 a.m. — I get to work, put my lunch in the fridge, put a few puzzle pieces in our break room puzzle, and eat my Oui yogurt and a banana for breakfast. The reason I put training in quotations is that I’m really here because I still don’t have computer access, so I am “shadowing” my coworkers who work in this office. Typically one will log me in in a spare office and I will be given some task I can do without access (so no student appointments). No one from my team is here yet so I am just eating and reviewing my Todoist.

9:15 a.m. — I go to Amazon to find a pill organizer for the dog. She takes nine pills a day total (two different medications), plus right now she’s on antibiotics (an additional four pills), and nearly every month we find ourselves scrambling because we didn’t realize she was low on something. I think being able to see everything a week at a time will help. I also reorder a previous Amazon order I had accidentally sent to our old house. It’s slippers for me and a book that G. read when she went to an outdoor playgroup/forest school before we moved. She has been missing her friends and the animals there so I think she’ll like the book. We have an Amazon gift card for $44. We have Prime as a household but I don’t have it on my account, so I just choose a date that allows for free shipping as none of this is urgent. $8.50

10 a.m. — Ordering the pill organizer reminded me that we ran out of one of the dog’s meds this morning so I text C. to see if he can grab the prescription from home and drop it at the pharmacy today. While being back at work has been infinitely easier on me than being home with the kids (especially right now, when the work is pretty minimal), it’s a lot harder for our household to stay on top of all the random errands. When I was home, the kids still went to childcare a couple days a week, so I was taking care of the errands during that time and able to maximize our weekends (plus not have to rush to get to a store before closing or take off work for a doctor’s appointment). I get some actual work done, too; I revise some template letters for academic standing issues that get sent to students on probation, suspension, etc. at the end of each semester. My supervisor lets me know that she will have me screen applicants for an open position as well.

11 a.m. — Woohoo, my supervisor lets me know that I finally have IT approval and can set up my email, Teams and so on.

12 p.m. — I am still dealing with some access issues; a second login is needed for certain applications and I need to get access to a shared inbox among other things. While I’m messaging folks about that I eat lunch in my office. I heat up a leftover sandwich from last night and have a peach bellini sparkling water to drink.

2:30 p.m. — The sandwich isn’t really cutting it and I start to get hungry. Luckily our break room is stocked: Almost every day, different departments bring something in for staff to share and today there are brownies. I’m going to miss this whenever I get to go to my real office!

5:35 p.m. — I get home but C. wasn’t able to bring the dog’s prescription in so after turning the oven on (we’re going to cook the lasagne tonight), I take it and drop it off at CVS.

5:50 p.m. — I get back home right before dinner and we rush to get the kids fed so they can get in the bath at 6:30 p.m. I bathe them while C. cleans up the kitchen and dining room, then get a text at 7:15 p.m. that the dog’s meds are ready so I let C. finish the bedtime routine and run out to pick them up. $60.83

7:45 p.m. — I get back home and clean the cat’s litter box and give both pets their meds. L. climbs out of bed at 8 p.m. to go pee, so I bring her to the bathroom and back to bed. She climbs out again and cries when I immediately carry her back, which is pretty much her nightly routine at this point.

8:45 p.m. — C. and I talk about upcoming expenses. He just paid off our Amex, which was a lot higher than usual because of the move, but our military moving reimbursement came in so no issue. We also need to get one of our car windshields replaced this week. C. orders some decorative hooks to hang a macramé wall hanging we’ve had for a while. $12

6 a.m. — I get up and shower. Everyone slept well last night but the cat started meowing once C. was up, so from 5:30 a.m. on I wasn’t really sleeping. The morning goes smoothly except L. has been saying all morning that she doesn’t want to go to school. We leave the house (early!) at 7:10 a.m. and listen to the But Why? podcast for kids by Vermont Public Radio.

8:30 a.m. — Dropoff for G. went great but for L. went terribly (she continued to tell me she didn’t want to go to school for the entire drive and cried when we got to her building). I get to work, put some more pieces in the break room puzzle, and eat my yogurt and banana while looking at emails (because I finally have email! Yay!). L.’s teacher texts me a picture of her playing so I know she recovered from the trauma of school dropoff.

1 p.m. — I have a pretty uneventful morning and after eating lunch (leftover lasagne), I shadow my coworker while she works with a student who is having trouble getting financial aid to cover a course because they’re listed in the wrong degree program. I sit through their appointment and then go out with them to look for classes for the student (it’s the first week so course selection is an issue for 90% of the students we see this week).

3:45 p.m. — I get some more photos from L. and G.’s teachers. G. got to hold the school’s pet snake today and L. picked cherry tomatoes from their garden.

5:30 p.m. — I get home from work and somehow beat C. and the kids home so I start making cheese enchiladas for dinner. It’s my favorite weeknight recipe because it’s easy and I can make it in bulk so we all have lunch for tomorrow. G helps me mix the filling and sprinkle scallions over the enchiladas when they’re done.

7:15 p.m. — We still have to book it to get the kids in bed. I read to them while C. cleans the kitchen but we trade off when L. asks to go to the bathroom and then spends 10 minutes flipping through books on the toilet.

9:30 p.m. — Cat did not have diarrhea today (woooo) so after some light cleaning up around the house, I sit on the couch. I’ve been getting into genealogy stuff and think I may qualify for a couple ancestry groups so I talk C.’s ear off about what I find for a bit. We catch up on our days and talk to-do lists, and it’s nice to just hang out.

6 a.m. — Another alarm, another day of L. coming into my room within 10 minutes to ask for breakfast. I let her know I’m in the shower but she keeps one hand pressed up against my shower door like a weirdo. Eventually she realizes C. is downstairs and goes to find him. I pack leftover cheese enchiladas for lunch, plus my yogurt and banana to eat at the office. We leave around 7:15 a.m.; L. has a terrible dropoff again (G. is fine) and I listen to the re-released Hillbilly Elegy episode of If Books Could Kill on my commute. The Gift of Fear is due back in a couple days so I really need to prioritize finishing that, but I can’t start my day off listening to predictive behaviors for stalkers and workplace shootings.

8:30 a.m. — I am probably 70% through this break room puzzle at work and spend five minutes working on it after I put my lunch in the fridge. I check my access for the remaining program I need — still not there. I message the assistant to the dean to see if she has another assignment she had talked to me about last week, but it’s not ready yet. I open Todoist and make a note to lay out my gym clothes when I get home this evening; tomorrow is my first meetup with a new run club. I ran a marathon a couple years ago and then got into trail running for a bit since we were in a great place for it, but between deployment and moving, it’s been a year since I’ve run regularly and this group is known for being welcoming of all paces.

10 a.m. — I get an email from G. and L.’s school librarian with a link to the school’s scholastic book page. Books are the one thing I can never resist getting for them even though we use the library often AND have an enormous collection of kid books at home already. I find some books that will be of interest to each girl (The Pigeon HAS to Go to School! for L. and Our Planet! There’s No Place Like Earth for G.) and I know the school benefits from ordering through their link, so I place an order. I also make a note to go through their books at home and finally donate the baby black-and-white board books to make some space. $16.94

11:30 a.m. — I go through the shared drive for my department and start familiarizing myself with some resources. The hard part of any new job is learning all the institutional-specific policies. This morning I’m looking at placement test scoring and math requirements for different degree programs.

12 p.m. — I take lunch. The enchiladas are even better as leftovers. I got the recipe from Budget Bytes and love that it’s easy and cheap to make, and easy to scale up for meal prep.

2 p.m. — Once again I am snacky two hours after lunch. This time I walk over to the student center to get soda and Reese’s cups from the student store. I’m trying to cut back on soda but can’t manage to kick it entirely. $5.64

5:40 p.m. — I hit some traffic leaving work so I don’t get home until 5:40 p.m. C. pulls in right behind me with the kids so I preheat the oven and feed the animals. The girls are in great moods and we eat fish sticks and frozen veggies for dinner. Not the best dinner but we manage to wrap up before 7 p.m. so they can get to bed on time. I help get the girls in pajamas and teeth brushed, then C. takes over and I go give the pets meds, clean and get my gym bag together with my running stuff. When C. comes downstairs he hangs the macramé on the new hooks that came in the mail today!

9 p.m. — C. and I fly to visit extended family for Thanksgiving most years so we look at flights for that. We look at different options but have a companion pass available with Delta. There is an option to do two tickets in first class that ends up only being a few hundred dollars more than flying a different airline without the companion pass so we book those and our other two tickets with airline miles. For all four of us to fly round-trip it comes out to ~$1,300, which feels pretty good for Thanksgiving week. $1,300

6 a.m. — I get up and manage to shower without a small child interrupting. I still have some lasagne in my work fridge from Tuesday so I skip packing anything and get clothes out for the girls and move a beloved stuffy back into L.’s backpack for naptime. We get to school early enough for me to drop them in before care, which seems to help L. with dropoff, though it may just be the novelty of a new classroom keeping her distracted. I leave and stop by Starbucks since I didn’t pack breakfast either. I get a caramel macchiato and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin and tip $5 because what else am I going to do with all my Starbucks gift cards?

10 a.m. — I get an email from the director at a job I applied for earlier in the summer. They contacted me to interview after I already accepted my current job, but it pays a lot more and is NOT in advising (but is higher ed-adjacent) so I figured it couldn’t hurt to interview (though I feel bad for considering leaving this job so quickly after starting). If I end up getting an offer I’ll have to weigh the (40%!) salary increase against somewhat more unpredictable hours, some of which would cut into my weekends with the kids. Anyway, I’m getting way ahead of myself.

11:30 a.m. — I get on a call with my coworkers to review some procedures for students returning from academic suspension and make a timeline for various appointment campaigns this semester.

1 p.m. — The call ran a little long so I take a late lunch, then walk over to the student store again because the lasagne didn’t really fill me up. There aren’t really any healthy options and I don’t feel like driving off campus (mostly because it’s 95 degrees and I know my car will be miserable) so I get some Smartfood popcorn, a Snickers bar and a tea. $8.15

4 p.m. — I spend a good chunk of the afternoon pulling data for a campaign that will notify instructors of certain courses to complete early alerts for their students at different points in the semester. These let advisors know if one of their assigned students is not attending class or not doing well in the class, so we can reach out to them prior to the withdrawal date to discuss their options and see if they need to be connected with any other campus resources. It feels good to have actual work to do!

5 p.m. — I leave work and head to run club, even though it is 95 degrees out and extremely humid. It’s also been a year since I’ve run with any regularity and two since I’ve been really committed, so I struggle through 1.5 miles and walk another half a mile or so. The group seems really nice and I get home by 7:15 p.m.

7:15 p.m. — C. is getting the girls down when I get home so I help get them in pajamas and read them a book. L. is still awake when I go downstairs to eat the last leftover enchilada, and she ends up screaming for me (she wants a bandaid for an imaginary injury) so I end up back in their room sitting until she falls asleep at 8 p.m. I go downstairs and give the animals their meds and clean the litter box. I thought C. would take the girls to school tomorrow because he’s off work but I forgot he’s getting the car windshield replaced. I make a mental note to leave early enough to get gas.

9:40 p.m. — I take another shower because I don’t want to get into relatively clean sheets after running and sweating in 95 degree heat. I don’t like showering at night because I feel like I need to shower in the morning to be clean for the day, but it is relaxing and I love getting into bed fresh and clean.

6 a.m. — I slept horribly last night, partly because I was thinking about my call with that director today, and partly because I had my hair wrapped up so it wouldn’t be a frizzy mess this morning after showering last night. L. comes in at 6:15 a.m. but to my surprise lies quietly with me for about 15 minutes. Then C. wakes G. and they all go downstairs to eat breakfast. I wash my face and pick clothes out for the girls and we do the regular Friday routine. C. told me last night he will end up having to go into work today after all once the windshield is done, but he can still drop off my dry cleaning on his way. I grab a Chick-fil-A gift card on the way out the door because I’m out of leftovers and don’t feel like packing a sandwich.

7:45 a.m. — No tears from L. this morning! She was still complaining on the drive but doesn’t melt down at dropoff, which I consider a win. Unfortunately, we did not get out the door early enough to get gas so I’ll have to get it this evening. Luckily the gas station across from campus is still only $2.97 per gallon as of this morning.

12 p.m. — I spend the morning working on updating a communication plan that is currently housed in a very out-of-date and messy spreadsheet. At noon I take lunch and walk over to the student center with my coworker to use my Chick-fil-A gift card, only to learn that it’s closed on Fridays. I don’t want to eat a microwaved burger from the convenience area so I drive to a Chick-fil-A a few minutes away from campus instead. $2.18

1 p.m. — I come back from lunch and review applications for another advising position before my call that I am increasingly nervous for.

2:10 p.m. — I finish my phone call and feel really good about it. The director was supposed to be at my second interview but was out that day so it was good to get to talk with him directly. I think I made a good impression.

3 p.m. — I get a celebratory soda and snack. $5.64

4 p.m. — My coworkers and I have a meeting to review applicants for the open position now that we’ve all had a chance to review them individually. We pick five for interviews and thankfully wrap up pretty quickly, because a 4 p.m. meeting on a Friday before a long weekend is not okay.

5 p.m. — I leave work and get gas before driving home ($41.77). C. brings the girls home and throws in some frozen pizzas. I’m not really hungry due to my afternoon snacking so I play with the girls while the pizzas cook and then get their plates set. C. and I catch up while they eat. He got the windshield fixed ($400); thankfully it was payday for both of us (my first full paycheck since returning to work) and it feels good not to stress about expensive surprises. $441.77

7:15 p.m. — We get the girls in bed and then spend over an hour trying to get them to go to sleep. G. falls asleep around 8:20 p.m., L. is still awake. C. takes the first shift but taps out around 8 p.m.; I sit up there until 8:30 p.m. before mom rage requires me to leave and C. goes back in with her. I wish the late bedtime EVER translated to her sleeping in but I know she’ll be at my bed at 6 a.m. tomorrow, which only frustrates me more.

6:30 a.m. — L. and G. climb up into bed. C. is already downstairs taking care of the pets and the girls make their way down after him after a few minutes with me. I head down and at first tell C. I’m not planning to run this morning but change my mind and get dressed. I run 1.5 miles around 7:30 a.m.

8 a.m. — I play with the girls in their playroom — this mostly involves helping L. put dollhouse furniture back where it belongs.

9 a.m. — I get in the shower and get dressed. G. and I are going to a library program for preschoolers later this morning and I’m excited to get some one-on-one time with her.

10 a.m. — C. takes L. with him on an errand to get a new TV. Ours broke in the move but we got reimbursed to get a replacement. G. and I leave right after so we can check out library books before the class.

11:15 a.m. — We leave the library with seven books, a painting and a new appreciation of magnets, the subject of the “preschool science” class offered today. G. and I have Starbucks for lunch. She gets a protein box (hardboiled eggs, cheese and fruit) and a chocolate croissant. I get a grilled cheese and a pink drink, plus a plain croissant to bring home to L. Gift cards cover everything (about $30 and tip).

12 p.m. — We head home and C. and L. are finishing their own lunch so I give L. the croissant. G tells C. about our morning and I get our mountain of library books in the house.

1 p.m. — I have an appointment for a bra fitting, which I desperately need. I have, like, two bras that sort of fit because having kids changed my body in a lot of ways, most of which I don’t love. I get one daily-use bra, one cute lace bra, and one sports bra. $263.95

2:15 p.m. — I get home and the kids are not napping but they are playing independently, which is all we really hope for these days. I help C. mount the new TV and enjoy some downtime.

5:30 p.m. — I make mac and cheese and cook some frozen veggies for dinner.

7:30 p.m. — I help get the girls ready for bed, then do some cleanup while C. does the rest of the bedtime routine. I get changed to go to a friend’s improv show that starts at 10 p.m. I get a milkshake at a restaurant up the road from the theater, which has a $5 minimum. $7

9:30 p.m. — I pay to park ($7.45) and get a ticket to the show ($10). It’s really nice to see some old friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. C. texts me that the girls are down and not to worry about rushing back if I want to stay out after the show, so I go to a bar with a group of friends afterward and stay out until 2 a.m., which is unheard of for me. I’m driving so I stick to water, so my only expense is the ticket and parking fee. $17.45