A Week In San Francisco, CA, On A $200,000 Salary

Occupation: Team Lead
Industry: Digital Advertising
Age: 31
Location: San Francisco, CA
Salary: $200,000 ($140,000 base, $60,000 bonus paid out quarterly based on achievement to a team revenue goal.)
Net Worth: $254,638.36 ($139,852.52 in my Roth 401(k), $12,100.03 in my Roth IRA, $72,215 in an investment account (mutual funds), $21,400.47 in a savings/emergency fund, $8,490.25 in Qapital sinking funds (honeymoon, friend wedding travel/gifts, Christmas, dog medical expense fund), $580.09 in checking (I believe in "giving every dollar a job" and this is a pretty typical checking account balance for me).)
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month + quarterly bonus): $2,817.51 + quarterly bonus (typically $10,000-$13,000 net)
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,500 (My half of the two-bedroom apartment I share with my fiancé.)
401(k): $1,986
Medical FSA: $237.50
Health Insurance: $6 (My company covers most of my premium.)
Dental Insurance: $21.20
Cell Phone: $40 (I Venmo my parents for my portion of their family plan.)
Utilities: $25 (Split with fiancé.)
Internet: $27.89 (Split with fiancé.)
CSA: $60 (Split with fiancé.)
NYTimes: $14
Peloton: $19.50 (Split with fiancé.)
Spotify: $9.99
HBOMax: $7.49 (Split with fiancé, shared with his parents.)
Netflix: $0 (Fiancé's parents' login.)
Hulu: $6.49 (Split with fiancé.)
Disney+: $3.50 (Split with fiancé.)
Pandora Plus: $4.99
iCloud Storage: $0.99
Dog Food Subscription: $76.32 (Split with fiancé.)
Loveland Foundation Donation: $10
Other Donations: $200 (Mostly mutual aid.)
Savings: $500 (I typically save most of my bonus checks as well.)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely — in my family it was non-negotiable that my brother and I would go to college. My parents fully paid for my tuition to get a BA at a liberal arts school, which I honestly took for granted at the time because we didn't really have conversations around the cost of college. We never spoke about alternative options or how most people have to take out student loans. Once I graduated and had friends talk about their loans in the context of their salaries, I became aware of how insanely fortunate I am to have been gifted such a significant financial head start (and I'm still pretty ashamed of how sheltered I was as a teen/young adult).

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Not a lot, money was kind of a taboo topic in our household. The one finance fact that got seared into my brain from an early age was to never put more on credit cards than you can afford to pay off. Other than that, I didn't get a lot of concrete financial advice until my mid 20s.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started babysitting for neighborhood kids when I was 14 and babysat/nannied through high school and college for spending/gas money. I also worked at a retail store during the summer in college (RIP Limited Too).

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not at all. My parents didn't talk about their finances around us, and while we weren't spoiled, we didn't want for anything. My dad owned a small business for most of his career and I recently learned that he went without a paycheck for a couple years when I was a preteen to help keep the business afloat during a particularly rocky period. I also recently learned that my mom has always out-earned my dad.

Do you worry about money now?
I do; I have anxiety and a tendency to catastrophize, so even though I am objectively quite financially stable, I worry about what would happen if, say, I lost my job and simultaneously had a medical emergency. I have also only become truly financially stable since I got my current job three years ago, which nearly tripled my salary. Prior to that my net worth was probably closer to $35,000. Because my industry can be quite volatile, I also worry about getting laid off (which I have been in the past) and not being able to find a new job in the same income bracket. I also have been raised to believe that owning a home is the truest measure of financial security and I will likely have to move if I ever want to afford property.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 21, I became responsible for my rent and living expenses. At 26, I became responsible for my own healthcare and finally started paying for my own phone. I have safety nets in my fiancé (who makes 25% less than I do and basically covered expenses besides rent after I got laid off a few years ago), my parents, and my fiancé's parents. I will never be homeless and this helps me sleep at night.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Besides my college tuition, my parents gave me $30,000 following the sale of my dad's business a few years ago. I paid my credit card balance that month and added the rest to an investment account.

8:30 a.m. — It's the first day of a three-day weekend for me, woo! I roll out of bed, walk and feed my dog S., and make a pot of half-caf coffee (I switched to mostly to decaf when I started on antidepressants in early 2021, so now half-caf feels like a weekend treat and full caf feels illegal). I also make some peanut butter toast with honey. I'm in the early stages of marathon training and have a 10-miler on the docket for today; I dawdle for a bit and head out around 10:30.

12:30 p.m. — Home from my run and once I stretch and shower, I am starving. Today is grocery shopping day and it's slim pickings in the fridge, so I order a Sweetgreen bowl with chicken, wild rice, arugula, cilantro, carrots, almonds, and miso-ginger dressing. $24.58

3 p.m. — I'm on the couch watching The Sweetest Thing (an early 2000s rom com that *mostly* holds up despite the all-white cast) and I go on a bit of a running-related shopping spree. I buy compression socks ($44), a ton of Liquid IV ($30 after splitting with my fiancé, T., because we also use it for hiking and hangovers), a pair of Superfeet orthotics ($58.63), two pairs of Hoka shoes ($228.10), a Nutribullet Pro ($83.09), and Vital Proteins vanilla protein powder ($33.65). I save $50 total by shopping around/using discount codes and also get $11 cash-back through Rakuten. I'm hungry after all my shopping and eat some chips and salsa. $477.47

4:30 p.m. — I consider taking a nap instead of going grocery shopping but I think about future me and drag myself to Trader Joe's. I buy a bunch of herbs, raspberries, butter lettuce, lemons, ginger, cherry tomatoes, leeks, onions, shallots, milk, eggs, yogurt, a whole chicken, lamb steaks, bacon, challah, bananas, eggs, butter, milk, almond milk, frozen berries, granola, brown sugar, decaf coffee, chia seeds, canned chickpeas, beef jerky, toilet paper, paper towels, seltzer, and fresh flowers. The total is $149; I add it to our Splitwise tally (T. and I use Splitwise for all shared expenses besides rent, and have a rule that if one of us owes the other more than $500 we have to cash out). While I'm at Trader Joe's, T. goes to Walgreens and buys me a huge bag of Epsom salts for post-run baths ($19). $93.50

7 p.m. — T. and I take an Uber to meet up with a friend for sushi ($12, split with T.). (Obligatory COVID disclaimer: myself, T., and everyone we hang out with are vaxxed, boosted, and wear masks indoors. Due to Omicron, we are currently outdoor dining only and limiting our indoor activities with friends.) We share edamame and I get green tea and a set that comes with miso soup, salad, rice, and shrimp and veggie tempura (my share is $35). We walk to my friend's apartment nearby and play video games for a couple of hours before ubering home ($11, split with T.). $46.50

9 a.m. — Wake up, walk/feed S. I am so happy with past me for going grocery shopping so current me can cook a delicious breakfast. I make challah French toast with raspberries, bacon, and half-caf coffee. T. does the dishes (in our house whoever doesn't cook, cleans up).

12 p.m. — After reading for a couple hours (Padma Lakshmi's Love, Loss, and What We Ate) and helping T. fold laundry, I walk S. to the dog park while listening to Maintenance Phase. Like many millennial women, I am unlearning decades of internalized fatphobia, disordered eating, and diet culture BS, and this podcast is a breath of fresh air — funny and well-researched while absolutely skewering our society's obsession with "wellness" and policing others' bodies. I get home and eat an apple and a few slices of sharp cheddar.

2 p.m. — My project for today is taking inventory of my shoes. I toss several pairs that are beyond repair and post a few better-quality pairs on Poshmark. It's my first time buying or selling on Poshmark and I'm not sure if it's worth the effort, but I'll give it a shot. If I don't get any bites within a few weeks, I'll donate them. I hope this staves off some of the "you have too many shoes" comments from T., whose shoe-buying strategy is to buy one pair of shoes, wear them until they have holes in the soles, and repeat.

6 p.m. — T. and I walk to meet up with a couple of friends for an al fresco dinner at an Italian place down the street from us (the best part about living in SF is that winters are fake and you can still somewhat maintain a social life even in a pandemic). We split a couple of apps and a salad and I have spaghetti with clams, plus a couple of pomegranate-rosemary-lemon sodas. I'm taking this month off of drinking and I'm stoked that this place has good mocktails, served in a fancy glass with a garnish to boot. The others each have two Negronis. I think my portion of the bill might be subsidizing their booze, but I don't care enough to make a fuss. $65

8:30 p.m. — I float the idea of getting ice cream, and we decide stop at Salt & Straw on the way home. I get a split scoop of salted, malted cookie dough (puts Ben & Jerry's to shame, as it should at double the price) and snickerdoodle with whipped cream and sprinkles, plus another pint of cookie dough to take home. I tip 30% (slightly ridiculous tipping has become a habit during COVID, partially because service workers deserve it full stop, and partially because I feel guilty about going out during a pandemic) and this is how I end up spending almost $25 on ice cream. $24

8 a.m. — Wake up, walk/feed S., make coffee, eat leftover French toast. We get everything together to go for a hike and T. drives us to the trailhead. He owned his car before we started dating; I don't contribute financially to it at all except for when he remembers to charge me for gas. It's also a manual which I can't drive, so it truly is his alone.

3 p.m. — We finish up hiking (a new-to-us trail that starts up on a ridge with ocean views and winds down into the woods, I am a nature girl and freaking love living here) and grab lunch at a restaurant close to the trailhead. I have a burger and an Arnold Palmer. $30.23

4:30 p.m. — Once we're back home, I shower and do my nighttime skincare routine: Renee Rouleau Purifying Face Wash, Kiehl's calendula toner, Skinbetter Science AlphaRet retinol cream, and Renee Rouleau Skin Recovery Lotion. I have super sensitive acne-prone skin and have wasted so much money and mental energy trying different skincare products over the years. Once I got vaxxed, I started getting facials every six to eight weeks and my facialist (saying that makes me feel so bougie) has helped me build out a routine that actually works for my skin and my lifestyle, which is such a relief.

7:30 p.m. — I make one of my favorite dinners: roast chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes from our CSA, salad with CSA radishes, and homemade green goddess dressing. T. does the dishes and I settle in with the NYT crossword, some reading, and an early bedtime.

6 a.m. — I drag myself out of bed to eat a banana and go for a run. I am not a morning person (or a night person... I just really love sleep), but I am a stickler for following my training plan. I canceled my gym membership early on in COVID and the only time I miss treadmill access is during the mile or so before it's light enough to really see. My mood substantially improves once the sun comes up and I catch my first Golden Gate Bridge/SF Bay views. I've lived here for five years and it never gets old.

8 a.m. — Home from my run. I walk/feed S., stretch, take a quick shower, do my skincare, and scarf down some Trader Joe's almond butter granola with milk before logging in to work. I got promoted into a management position a few months ago and so far the biggest change is the number of meetings — I'm booked solid from 9 to 4 today which is not my ideal welcome back from a long weekend.

11:15 a.m. — One of my meetings ends early and I seize the opportunity to eat a quick lunch — potato leek soup from the freezer. T. Gchats me (we have both worked from home since March 2020 but occasionally our laziness knows no bounds) to let me know he booked us an Airbnb for an upcoming long weekend in wine country; he charges me on Splitwise for my half. $306.22

3 p.m. — Thank the Lord and hallelujah, another meeting ends early and I have a full 30 minutes to myself. The runger (hunger following a run) is in full force especially after my early lunch, so I scarf down (lots of scarfing today) a banana with peanut butter and a few chocolate chips while catching up on some work. I also order my four free COVID tests — thanks Joe.

5 p.m. — S. is going crazy so I take her for her afternoon walk and finish up an episode of Maintenance Phase. The sunset is amazing — the one good thing about this time of year is getting to see all sorts of sunrises/sunsets. Get back home, eat another snack of a beef jerky stick and a couple of mandarin oranges from the CSA, and finish up some work.

7 p.m. — I start dinner — extremely inauthentic bibimbap with ginger-garlic beef, stir-fried bok choy, raw radishes from the CSA, kimchi, fried eggs, chili-garlic sauce, and TJ's frozen brown rice. I love to cook and I'm good at it, but for some reason, I have a mental block around plain-ass rice and thus refuse to make it from scratch. Three-minute microwave rice is where it's at.

10 p.m. — NYT crossword (my friends and I are really competitive over the Mini leaderboard), ice cream, a few episodes of Last Man on Earth (silly, dark, and slept on!), skincare, and bed.

8 a.m. — I wake up and scroll on my phone for a few minutes before I'm ready to get out of bed. I see that I got my first Poshmark offer! After shipping and fees, I'll make $40 — not too shabby. I get up and put on a Beyond Yoga Spacedye set (leggings and a cropped tank top) and a sweatshirt. I love these sets so much and bought a few on sale last year after finally accepting that I'll be living in athleisure for the foreseeable future.

9 a.m. — Walk/feed S., decaf coffee, TJ's peanut butter protein granola/banana/milk, log on to work. My day starts off with an interview (one of eight this week — my company is no stranger to the Great Resignation). I'm usually very decisive about candidates but I'm waffling on this one... Since we have so many open roles right now I'll move her to the next round and see how she does.

12 p.m. — I heat up some leftover chicken, gravy, and mashed potatoes with a side of cut-up radishes for lunch before walking to the post office with S. to drop off my Poshmark package. I'm feeling anxious for no discernable reason even though I've been making a real effort recently to do all the right things — not drinking, limiting caffeine, getting enough sleep and water, exercising, spending time outdoors/with people, eating well, therapy twice a month, Zoloft. Reflecting on all of this has me annoyed in addition to anxious. A walk in the sunshine helps a little, as does interviewing an unequivocally strong candidate and knocking out some work.

4 p.m. — My Nutribullet arrives! My mom made me a lot of smoothies over the holidays and I've been thinking about this purchase ever since. I throw together a smoothie with frozen berries, protein powder, half a banana, almond butter, almond milk, chia seeds, cinnamon, and salt. It's okay — I will have to tweak the recipe a bit, but the blender does its job. Now back to work.

7 p.m. — Done with work, yay! If I'm honest it's usually the source of my anxiety even when there's nothing concrete to worry about — the imposter syndrome is real. I put Sunday's chicken carcass in the Instant Pot with onion, garlic, celery, carrots, bay leaf, salt, and water for stock. IP stock is my favorite life hack — takes an hour, 100x better than store-bought, and free with the purchase of a chicken. I also portion out smoothie ingredients to freeze and set out my running stuff since I have another early run tomorrow. T. is done with his turn on the Peloton at this point so I hop on.

8:30 p.m. — New PR on the Peloton (501 in 45 minutes) and I am dead. Maybe not the smartest move since I have a fairly demanding run in like 10 hours but hey, you're supposed to push yourself during training, right? We got the Peloton on a Black Friday deal last year as our Christmas/five-year anniversary present to each other and I'm loving it so far. Peloton: good, new PR: good, continuing to sweat 30 minutes after showering... not my fave. I sit down to dinner and basically get into bed right after.

5:30 a.m. — Rise and shine, it's butt-whipping time! I get dressed, do my morning ablutions, have a Liquid IV and peanut butter toast with honey, do some pre-run warmup exercises, and am out the door by 6:45 (yes, I move very slowly in the morning).

8:30 a.m. — Back from my run and it was a doozy — eight miles at race pace. I am excited to see some training gains though — I did the same run 10 seconds per mile slower two weeks ago, plus today I only felt like death for the last three miles, whereas last time I had to talk myself out of quitting pretty much the entire time. Only one more big run before I start tapering down for my half marathon race in a couple of weeks! It's easier to focus on that than the full picture of marathon training. Baby steps.

9:30 a.m. — S. gets walked/fed, then I stretch, shower, (half)caffeinate, smoothie, and log onto work. I see that there's an opening for a manager position on another team and I decide to throw my hat in the ring. It's probably unlikely since I just got promoted in August, but it's worth a shot, and I like the idea of stretching myself without being too invested in the outcome. I'm recovering from a serious case of burnout (a combo of pandemic-related mental health decline and being so done with my previous role), so feeling excited about something work-related is a massive win.

1:30 p.m. — Done with meetings for the day! Having most of the afternoon free to actually do work feels like a special treat (and saying that makes me feel... pathetic). But first, lunch. I make soup with some of the chicken broth from yesterday, orzo, napa cabbage from the CSA, and stir in a beaten egg mixed with parmesan at the end. I make a version of this for lunch at least twice a week — broth + greens + grains + egg/parm.

5 p.m. — After spending the rest of the afternoon working on year-end reviews for my direct reports plus some other odds and ends, I log off and take S. for a walk. Once we get back, I start in on making Thomas Keller's butternut squash soup while sipping a Health-Ade grape kombucha.

7:30 p.m. — We eat the soup with a brown butter drizzle and a side of toast and raw veggies with leftover green goddess dressing. I hang on the couch with my crossword while T. cleans up, then we watch Last Man On Earth until bedtime around 10:45.

7 a.m. — I set my alarm with the intention of working out and I just do not feel like it this morning. I play Wordle and Spelling Bee and answer a few texts in bed before getting up around 7:30. I put on a red Beyond Yoga set and a charcoal crew neck sweatshirt (it looks fine on Zoom but I have basically given up trying to look cute at work at this point). Walk/feed S., then I make decaf and a smoothie and log onto work at 8:30.

9 a.m. — First of three interviews today and it was quite something. At the end of the interview (which already didn't go very well), the candidate commented about our company having a female CEO, and then said that it was inspiring to see all women on the interview panel. Inspiring that women... have jobs?? Are allowed to make hiring decisions?? Unclear, he did not elaborate further. Thankfully my Zoom poker face is well-developed at this point.

12:30 p.m. — I have a video session with my therapist. We spend most of the time talking about my anxiety around eventually having to tell my parents that I don't want kids (the walls are closing in now that I'm getting married), and it's very validating. After therapy, I heat up some leftover butternut squash soup over brown rice and eat way too fast before my next meeting.

4:30 p.m. — I log off a little early so I can take S. for a longer walk to the dog park before it gets dark. When we get home I decide to use my at-home hot yoga studio (aka my living room with a candlelit and the heat on) for a 30-minute Alo Yoga Pilates class (paid one lump sum for the app on a 50% off promo last year — it was $99).

7 p.m. — T. is out of town tonight so I indulge in a solo night in of eating and watching exactly what I want. I order a Caesar salad, chicken parmesan with ziti, and tiramisu. There's a 30% off deal with a $40 minimum so I add saffron arancini ($12) which takes $14 off the bill. I watch Little Women (1994) for the first time. I'm zonked from the week so after finishing the movie and taking S. for her last walk of the night, I pass out at 9:30. Wild Friday night! $45.80