“Sunglasses Earrings” Are Where We Draw The Line

For some people, sunglasses area luxury item to buy for keeps and wear for years on end. Personally, I buy into a school of thought that exists on the opposite end of the spectrum. Instead of purchasing something like a classic pair of Wayfarers and wearing them for a couple of years day, I'm constantly refining my sunglasses collection and relinquishing an old style as soon as I spot a new trend that I dig. So, I'm the first person to accept an out-there design. In my mind, the more creative, the better. But there are some instances where the creativity just doesn't quite work out the way it was intended. I present you with the Chain Temple Shades, or what I like to call (and will be calling from here on out) "sunglasses earrings." At first, these sound like a treat. As a person who doesn't wear earrings, but would if I could wear them for a full day without mindlessly removing and misplacing them mid-afternoon, this sounds like the half-chic, half-silly solution to my problems. Then, I got to thinking about the function of these puppies and it became clear that my earring woes were not going anywhere anytime soon. Let's get into some logistics, shall we? To start, you will waste about 30 seconds each time you remove and/or put on these sunnies. The "arms" are made of chains, which obviously cannot be used to prop the sunglasses on your head, or easily fold onto your shirt. So, you're going to have to take them off entirely or let them dangle just below your face and then start pulling on the earrings to adjust them again. That probably amounts to approximately six minutes a day spent fumbling around to get these specs to sit just right. Think about it: Putting them on pre-work, taking them off at work, and maybe even taking them off and putting them on again to see your phone while commuting is already four adjustments before your day has even really begun. In a year's time, you'll have lost the equivalent to one summer Friday and an entire precious Saturday...and nobody wants to be left with the Sunday sunny scaries. Another issue? The potential for a freezing chain draped behind your ear. A cold necklace can be bad enough, but a cold chain on the back of your ears, or even grazing the side of your neck? I have chills already. And what happens when you look down, jump around, or dance? Don't they fall right off? I love the sunglasses earrings idea, in theory, and I commend & Other Stories for its ingenuity. But this is one pair of sunglasses that I can't say I'll be rotating into my starting five anytime soon.

& Other Stories Chain Temple Shades, $25, available at & Other Stories.