A Week In Wilmington, DE On A $97,500 Salary

Occupation: Assistant professor
Industry: Academia
Age: 32
Location: Wilmington, DE
Salary: $97,500
Assets: 403(b): $34,298; Roth IRA: $9,979; investment account: $9,319; HYSA: $62,772; checking account: $9,908. I’m not living with my partner yet so no joint accounts.
Debt: $18,276 (remaining on car loan for a used Toyota).
Paycheck amount (2x month): $2,772
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $1,703 (I rent a one-bedroom apartment; this includes my $35/month parking spot and it is my first rental that has in-unit laundry!).
Loan payments: $568 monthly car payment.
Patreon: $10
Gym: $20
Insurance: $158
Adobe Illustrator & Acrobat: $45
Wi-fi: $65
Utilities: $120-200 (depending on month).
Cell phone: My parents very kindly still pay for my phone plan (they also pay for and share their Netflix and Disney+ passwords).
Subscriptions: I still use free Spotify with ads and free YouTube with ads.

Scientific association memberships: ~$300
Dropout TV: $48
Alma mater donation: $2,500
Local garden membership: $100 (for two).
Local museum pass: $99 (for two).
Synagogue membership: $350
Savings: I save monthly for goals (whatever I can add) like my Roth IRA, vacation fund, our wedding fund and a down payment fund.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I don’t think there was ever any question of me not going to college. I did very well in high school, my parents had both attended college and I wanted to pursue a career in science, so it was just expected. What was not expected was the cost. I received a scholarship that covered $15,000 a year for four years ($60,000 total). However, this felt like it barely covered anything at the small, private liberal arts college I attended. After both my parents and I took out loans for just the first year, it did not feel sustainable. I do not know how large my parents’ loan was; mine was for $12,000. That first Thanksgiving, my mom had a family meeting with her siblings and her parents. She asked if my grandparents could help pay for my college, and the agreement among the family was that they would help all of the grandkids with college/school expenses. I still worked three jobs simultaneously in college, which included working in dining services, as a lab prep assistant, a tour guide, a tutor, a babysitter and as an RA (resident advisor, which was the best paying job I had, covering both my room and board for three of the four years). I didn’t really feel like I had any money in college, even with all the jobs, but I never worried about tuition, housing or food during that time period. My grandparents used to joke that I was the cheapest grandchild because my parents’ siblings used this as an opportunity to cover private high school, and because I had more scholarship money and room and board covered than my younger brother (who was also a public school kid with me). I am extremely grateful for their help in covering my schooling, and extremely grateful that I only had to worry about a loan that was eventually around $16,500 when I paid it off. I do not think I would be feeling as financially secure as I do now without their help, and I don’t know if I would have pursued graduate school if I’d had more debt to worry about. I completed my PhD in the sciences, which was fully covered and gave me a stipend through teaching assistantships and research assistantships (typically between $22,000 and $27,000). Graduate school was still hard on these low stipends; I remember crying because I had to decide between contact lenses for the year and a winter coat, I always did extensive meal prep and was always making sure I ate all my leftovers. After graduating, I had some money saved up and still no debt so I then felt comfortable pursuing a postdoctoral position that was just okay pay-wise ($48,000). Now I work in higher education as an assistant professor, trying to eventually get tenure.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents educated me in some ways but not others. I think they tried to shelter me and my brother from ever having to experience any hardship, and we were very privileged in that way. We never had to worry about housing or food and they paid for us to have extracurricular activities. When I was in high school my dad was laid off while my mom had already committed to pursuing a master’s degree part-time. We had to change certain things at home but my parents made sure my brother and I could continue our extracurriculars. They never really showed me their budgets but I understood that they took a second mortgage during this time. While my dad’s career never recovered, my mom took higher leadership positions in her field and became the family breadwinner. My mom has definitely gotten better with money over time, and is aggressively saving for her retirement now that she is over 60 (and she hopes to work until 70 to make her financial plan work).

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I actually technically was a model as a child, for magazines and advertisements. I think my parents used the money on some of my childhood activities and summer camp.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, I was very privileged to have support from my parents and grandparents, and when we did have money issues, my parents were very careful to not let my brother and I feel them.

Do you worry about money now?
No. I worried about money all the time when I was a graduate student, but I’ve worked really hard for many years to have a well-paying job and low expenses. What I worry most about recently is being able to afford a wedding, a house and hopefully a baby one day without it taking too many years.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I still felt pretty sheltered throughout college so I would say I didn’t become financially independent until moving to start graduate school (age 22). I definitely have a financial safety net in many people around me. If anything happened, I know my parents would let me live with them. I also have a very loving partner who I’m trying to move in with in the next few months, but I know I would be able to afford rent on my own, too.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, when I received my PhD, three family members gifted me collectively $5,000. For the past few years, my grandfather has gifted me $500 for my birthday and $500 for the holidays. The largest gift I have been given was very recently. My mom received a really terrifying medical diagnosis. She knows that I want to get married and buy a house, and gifted me $15,000 for either a house or a wedding. My grandmother also wanted to gift me when she found this out and sent me $10,000 with no strings attached. This is truly a staggering, life-changing amount of money for me, and I have made some timelines to get to my desired down payment years and years earlier than I thought would ever be possible.

6 a.m. — I get up with my sunrise alarm my boyfriend gifted me for Hanukkah. This thing is amazing, I absolutely love waking up to light instead of noise. I cuddle with my cat before getting out of bed. I make a mocha banana smoothie for breakfast, chill on the couch scrolling YouTube and Instagram, and then get ready for work. I try to get in by 8:30 a.m. so I can have some work time to myself before my student meetings. I feel so lucky to have not only my dream job but a beautiful campus to walk on each day.

12 p.m. — Finally done with student meetings (I have six working with me this summer and I am still learning how to balance supervising more and more people). I meet up with a bunch of other assistant professors for lunch. We try to get together every month or two and share some wins. I’m happy one of my students got a small award. Lunch is water and a black bean burger, not great at all and kinda expensive with tip. $18.60

5:30 p.m. — Finally heading out of work for home! I love Thursdays because my boyfriend usually stays over Thursday/Friday/Saturday. We love spending the weekend together. We make an incredible dinner from a cheese waffle recipe, with fried eggs, micro greens and a lemon aioli. So tasty. The cat tries to steal some, as usual. I don’t let her eat at the table; instead I put one shaving of cheese over by her bowl. We then hunker down on the couch. We’ve been having a ton of tough future and budget conversations lately, especially after my mom’s diagnosis, and tonight is another one. We wind down for bed with some NYT games, then sex, then listen to podcasts while we drift off.

6 a.m. — It’s FRIDAY! I wake up and have some leftover homemade granola bars for breakfast, again enjoying my cat cuddle time. I get ready for work by packing my lunch box (the cold leftover cheese waffles are in it, of course). I pack my boyfriend some other assorted leftovers. I accidentally fall asleep on the couch and then I have to rush to finish getting ready. We carpool in today and he drops me off at work at 8:30 a.m.

5 p.m. — I get picked up by my boyfriend and I tell him the bad news: I have to go back into work for a bit later tonight. This doesn’t disrupt our evening plans too much. We head to Aldi so I can grab groceries for meal prepping for the week. We do pretty good at not getting any impulse buys this time. I always like to look at what’s most expensive that day on the receipt and today it’s the fresh cherries ($6.05). $42.94

6 p.m. — Since I have to go back in, I let him decide where we should get a quick dinner. I’ve never had Costco pizza before so that is what he picks. We get two slices and two drinks — it is certainly very inexpensive. I am worried that the Pepsi will keep me awake all night but it is so tasty I drink the whole thing. He drops me back off at work and goes home to my apartment to unload the groceries and feed the cat. He also grabs me some Beyond Beef and refuses my offer of Venmo while I continue to work and then finish up by cleaning my lab. We head home, chill with some YouTube (we’ve been into Ann Reardon lately), have sex, do the NYT games and fall asleep to some podcasts. Somehow the Pepsi does not affect me today. $5.36

6 a.m. — I’m incapable of sleeping in on the weekend, unfortunately. I get up and bake a vegan, gluten-free cake for my friends later. We have a busy day so I’m glad I’m getting this done now.

9 a.m. — One of our favorite local restaurants is having a fundraiser so we stop by and pick up a baguette and some jam to bring home. We drop it off and head out again to get some laptop work done at one of our favorite cute local coffee shops. Unfortunately the line is out the door and there is no seating, so we leave. $14.16

10:45 a.m. — We find another spot that has plenty of seating and grab some beverages (cold brew and iced coffee). I get a little work done editing my students’ work, but mostly fret about our future and future savings for a down payment and wedding. I’m also worried but excited about an upcoming vacation we have planned together. $13.14

12:15 p.m. — My boyfriend won tickets to a beer festival so we head on over. I try a few different things I wouldn’t normally; my favorites are (surprisingly) a sour and (unsurprisingly) a beer ice cream float. He also pays for some food for us, again refusing my Venmo offer. We walk around a bit, enjoying the sunny afternoon.

4 p.m. — We swing back home to the apartment after the festival. We stop at a liquor store on the way and he buys some beer. At home, we grab my vegan, gluten-free cake and some canned mocktails (basically just fancy adult soda, I love it). We head over to our friends’ house to watch some of the Olympics. They have a big spread of food and we have a great time hanging out.

8 p.m. — We head out of their place so that I can go back to work. I work as quickly as I can and then we go home and feed the cat (who is not happy that it is so late). We hang out and wind down with NYT games, sex and watching an episode of Smartypants on Dropout. Genuinely love this subscription, it consistently makes me laugh over the three years I’ve been a subscriber. We go to bed listening to podcasts.

9 a.m. — We wake up, get ready for the day and head out to the coffee shop we tried to get into yesterday. I get a latte and a breakfast burrito. My boyfriend gets a bagel and a cold brew. We also try a scone but I’m not feeling it. The burrito is great and I eat the whole thing and then regret it. We then go for a walk outside before it gets too hot. We head back home and my boyfriend leaves for his house to do his chores. We have been talking a lot about our future. He bought his own house but the mortgage is very high and he fully supports two family members who live there. I make twice as much as he does and I am saving for our wedding and a house basically on my own, and it feels stressful. He is upset that he can’t contribute more financially, even though I greatly value all of the things he contributes that aren’t financial. I am adamant that I want our own house or my own house in the long term, even if it means I have to fully fund it myself. $31.80

12 p.m. — I eat leftovers for lunch and then get to my weekly chore list. Meal prep for work lunches: This week I make a chipotle pasta salad with tomatoes and chickpeas. Meal prep for my work group: hummingbird cake with cream cheese frosting. Clean my cat’s litter box and clean my own bathroom. Tons of laundry. All the cleaning. Lots of YouTube and phone calls with family while I get it all done.

5 p.m. — I head back into my lab and get a little more work done. I get a text from my cleaning guy, S., who is awesome. He says he can come this week and I venmo him his fee. I am so grateful for this luxury — even with all the cleaning I do, I cannot do anywhere near as good of a job as he does. We’re talking streak-free windows. This is also an expense I will have to give up when we eventually buy a house so I’m enjoying it while I can. I finish the night chilling at home, watching more YouTube and hanging with my cat. $125

6 a.m. — It’s Monday and I get paid! It includes half a month of academic summer pay (not guaranteed), and is way higher than I was expecting. I excitedly text my boyfriend and tell him. I’m so proud of my job and that I feel that I finally get paid what I should after years of graduate stipend. I have been trying to figure out what activities we can afford to try on our vacation, and now we can try a few things! I send a big chunk to my high yield savings account, where I divide it into buckets for college donation ($1,600), wedding ($575), down payment fund ($1,000) and contacts ($150). $3325 (covered in monthly savings).

8:30 a.m. — I get to work early and start the grind. My students want all of my attention and I barely get some lunch in.

5 p.m. — I scramble down to my work group with my hummingbird cake. Everyone likes it! I tell them that I think I need to go back to therapy. I’ve been compulsively baking for weeks, rearranging budgets, planning, scheduling, avoiding certain tasks. I haven’t been sleeping well either, partially due to nerves about a big work conference coming up. I’ve been trying to figure out how to manage what feels like a massive savings challenge on top of this. I get some work done, then head back to the lab and get home around 7:30 p.m. I’m too tired to do much. I eat part of a bagged salad kit for dinner and then go to bed early.

5 a.m. — I wake up extra early today, determined to work through my thoughts about everything going on. I work through all of the math and have a revelation. I also toast some mini Hawaiian bagels from Aldi and eat them with cream cheese (amazing). While I don’t want to live with my boyfriend’s family members for the long term, if I moved into his house for about eight months, I could finish the wedding fund and down payment fund on my own. Goals: $8,500 and $50,000. This makes me feel so so so much better, and it’s a possibility that I want to explore further with him. I think I could live with his family temporarily.

8:30 a.m. — Get into work and again it’s a marathon of students and I barely get to eat, let alone get my work done. But I feel light and excited for tonight.

5:30 p.m. — My boyfriend comes over and we go for a run together. I tell him that if I moved into his house rent-free, I could save the entire down payment on my own. He is extremely excited about the possibility. We discuss a lot during the run, including how to best introduce my cat to the space and other pets, and that I would back out if my cat isn’t happy. I am nervous about the entire thing because when my previous relationship of eight years ended, I had to live on a couch for almost two months. I am also excited because I’ve been asking him about plans for moving in for a while now, and I want to wake up next to him every day. I’m hoping for a few months’ transition period to work out kinks or change my mind, since I have about five months left on my lease.

7 p.m. — We shower and then make MorningStar Farms pancake and sausage on a stick with leftover bagged salad kit for dinner. It is a weird dinner but we had fun trying something new. We hang out, play the NYT games, have sex, watch some Dropout and fall asleep.

2 a.m. — I wake up panicking about my experiments at work not going well before the conference. I can’t get back to sleep and I know it will be a rough day.

6 a.m. — Never fell back asleep, and I finally get out of bed to start the day. I eat some hummingbird cake for breakfast, along with a Hawaiian bagel. I chill on the couch with my cat for a little too long and then I have to rush to get ready. I pre-order some Dunkin’ for one of my students who has a birthday today and pick it up on my drive in. I always get the office something to share for each birthday.

11 a.m. — I buy an egift card for a restaurant for someone at work who has helped me for many months on an extremely important project that is wrapping up. I wouldn’t normally do this but I would not have been successful without them and I want to show my appreciation. I did my homework and chose a restaurant that they like. The person stops by my office to thank me later in the day. $125

3 p.m. — My experiment finally WORKED! It’s been stressing me out all week and it finally, finally worked. Thank goodness. I can prep the next sample condition now that I know what I need to do for it to be successful. It’s going to be a bit of a marathon until this conference.

5:30 p.m. — I don’t usually go to Aldi midweek but there are a few items in the weekly ad that I don’t want to miss out on. For example, the cat cardboard at Aldi is the cheapest I’ve seen anywhere. I restock on some avocado oil (the most expensive item at $5.50), some olive oil and a few other random things. I splurge and get some fluorescent sour green candy (which I will regret later when it destroys my stomach, but it is really sour and tasty). $71.64

9 p.m. — I am feeling like a weight is lifted off me. My boyfriend and I have a more concrete plan for our goals and my experiments are working. I get into bed early and watch some silly YouTube. I then drift off to some podcasts and have a super solid night of sleep.