A Week In The DMV On A $215,000 Salary

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a data analytics consultant who makes $215,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on a consult session for a prenup.

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Occupation: Data analytics consultant
Industry: Software
Age: 32
Location: DC-Maryland-Virginia (DMV)
Salary: $215,000
Assets: Emergency fund: $30,000; retirement: $590,000; short-term savings: $15,000; house down payment: $80,000; long-term savings/additional retirement money: $325,000. I also have $50,000 in a taxable brokerage account that I’m waiting to move over to a donor-advised fund. I’m not yet sure what charities I’ll choose or what year will make the most sense to transfer it, but it’s great to have it earmarked and growing. My fiancé and I will be getting married this coming year, after which we’ll share our finances. He earns good money through his job (~$95,000 annually, gross) but also has significant student loan debt that we’re hoping will be forgiven through the public service loan forgiveness program.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $5,034
Pronouns: She/her

Housing costs: We rent a one-bedroom and a parking spot for $1,920 a month. My share is $1,200. My fiancé, G., and I split it somewhat unequally due to the difference in our respective incomes.
Loan payments: $0 for me (my fiancé’s student loan payments are ~$400).
Donor-advised fund contributions: $1,000 (for donations to nonprofits and charities).
Electric/water/gas: ~$75
Cell phone plan: ~$30
Internet: ~$25
NY Times: $12 every four weeks.
Renter’s insurance: $6

US Bank Altitude Reserve: $400
Capital One Venture X: $395
Spotify: $99 (bought via an annual gift card).
Chase IHG Premier: $99
Amtrak Guest Rewards Preferred: $99
CVS CarePass: $48
Google One storage: $20
1Password: $38
Financial advisor: $500 (advice only).
I don’t have any automated savings contributions. Any time I have extra money, I invest it in my house down payment fund.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. My family highly values education: My mother is a former teacher and my father came to the US for grad school. My parents paid for everything while I was in college, including tuition, housing, a meal plan, day-to-day spending money and a study abroad program. They wanted me to focus on academics alone and didn’t want me to pursue any work during the school year. I always knew this was a big deal but as I get older, I realize more and more just how important this has been to my financial life. My parents would likely help support me if I chose to go to grad school but I don’t have much interest in doing so.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents were comfortable talking to me about money, especially as an adult, but they never wanted me to feel anxious about it. I only discovered a few years ago that they hid how much financial stress they were under when my sibling and I were in school because they didn’t want us to worry. Otherwise, they were happy to chat. My mother taught me a lot about the logistics of money: taxes, IRAs, 401(k)s, credit cards, investing. She even set me up with a credit card as a young adult so I could build my credit.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first part-time job was as a waitress in a sushi restaurant, partially because I couldn’t find a summer internship while in college. My mom got me the job for the summer; some of the other waitresses had seen me grow up and had children who went to weekend Chinese school with me, and she’d asked if they were looking. The job itself was primarily to gain some real-life work experience and the money would go on splurges or simply be given to my parents as a token contribution to help offset all the costs they covered for me.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not much. I knew some times were leaner. For a time, we lived in a two-bedroom apartment as a family in one room, while my dad’s (very kind and understanding) roommate lived in the other. It wasn’t necessarily comfortable but I have fond memories of that time, particularly of going to the library and reading all day. We did move out of that apartment fairly quickly, to an apartment building that I mostly remember for having a pool where my dad taught me how to swim. After that, my father found consistent work and I didn’t worry about money again until I became financially independent after college.

Do you worry about money now?
Absolutely, even though it feels irrational at times. I make a great income and I have a great safety net in my own assets, my fiancé and my family. I haven’t had a healthy relationship with work for the vast majority of my career so my high earnings feel temporary, even though I’ve almost always been a high earner. I struggled in my first job out of college, which involved long hours and often dismissive managers, and I feel enormous anxiety about returning to that position because of money. Today, I’m planning a wedding, hoping to have children soon and exploring the housing market. It sometimes feels like I need to grab all the money I can while I can, before I completely burn out. It’s not a healthy approach. It doesn’t help that I feel guilt about just the thought of not making this career in tech work, because of how it could affect my family and future children. My fiancé thinks that I should leave my job given my stress levels but I feel hesitant about the large trade-offs in goals like paying for my children’s education and experiences.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became responsible for myself financially once I graduated from college, though my parents were willing to be my safety net if necessary. Nowadays, my primary safety net is my fiancé, outside of a robust emergency fund of over a year of typical living expenses.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. I see all the expenses my parents paid for my college education (and associated living expenses) as an inheritance.

8:45 a.m. — I wake up and waste over an hour on Reddit, which is all too common. Reddit has been terrible for my mental health and maybe…my soul? When my fiancé, G., wakes up, we have breakfast. He makes himself a PB&J, while I try a new cocoa and almond spread on some bread. It’s just okay.

10:45 a.m. — G. and I go ring shopping. We have a budget of $500 for both of our rings because we don’t have much of an interest in jewelry but still feel like we should have them. I’ve never worn a ring so putting one on my finger always looks odd. G. finds a ring that he likes but the store can’t do a half-size. We find it online in the right half-size and decide to order from there when we get home. I feel a bit bad, since someone helped us determine our ring sizes and try on some options.

12 p.m. — We grab ramen! We’re a bit rushed because we’re going to watch Twisters. G. is working on a Fantasy Football draft and is a bit distracted so I nudge him to be present with me. G. pays for ramen, I pay for the movie tickets ($27.16 for two tickets with reclining seats). It’s a lot cheaper on Tuesdays but G. wants to watch with me and can’t usually make that day work. $27.16

6 p.m. — G. and I have some frozen kimbap from the freezer. It’s good, not great. It’s one of those lazier dinner nights. After dinner, G. and I pick up some groceries, since a friend invited us to his place to grill some food tomorrow. We end up buying corn, mushrooms, carrots, blueberries, frozen fruit and a couple of frozen dinners for nostalgia’s sake (I don’t know why I have such a soft spot for them). I cave immediately once we get home and have a frozen TV dinner. $21.91

9 p.m. — G. starts sending out the save the dates for our upcoming wedding so I scramble to make sure our website and registry are in order. Silly as it may be, shopping to create a registry has been stressful. We stay up late because neither of us has work tomorrow.

8:30 a.m. — I wake up, browse Reddit and chat with G. in bed. It’s the last day of a shared three-day weekend, which is rare for us. I make some balsamic-glazed mushrooms from my favorite food blogger (Recipe Tin Eats, highly recommend) and put together a salad by cooking some leftover kale with tomato, excess mushrooms and bacon. I top it with a green goddess dressing. It’s honestly great.

10:45 a.m. — I find G. planning for the wedding and join him. We buy the ring in the right size for him ($63.74) and finish collecting addresses for our wedding invites. I book a photographer for some engagement photos and for our wedding ($1,910). We split both expenses in half. $986.97

12:30 p.m. — We have lunch at our friend M.’s place. M. grills some burgers and hot dogs (plus the corn we brought) and we lay out the salad and mushrooms. Even though it’s a beautiful day, we end up eating inside because I’m being eaten alive by mosquitos. We play Ticket to Ride — G. smokes us both. While we’re there, I realize one of my friends has already bought one of the gifts from our registry: a $150 spa day.

5 p.m. — We get back home and go for a quick walk. G. goes to an event and while he’s gone, I curl up on the couch and watch some YouTube. I sneak into our pantry and have a couple of cookies. I also heat up some leftover zuppa toscana that I made a couple days ago to celebrate a friend’s promotion.

10 p.m. — We’ve emailed most of our save the dates but we wanted some physical ones for our parents and older family members. Something petty in me is activated when I realize the software G. has used wants to charge us $40 for 10 invites that we’d still have to receive and mail out. We’ll figure it out next weekend but I confirm that a service could get us 25 postcards for $21. Is the extra $20 probably worth the time and energy it’d take to do this elsewhere? Yes. Does it also feel like an unfair upcharge for a printing service? Yes. I head to bed, feeling annoyed, around midnight.

6:45 a.m. — I sometimes wake up early from stress and today is one of those days. I count down from 100 as I breathe slowly, which really does the trick to either soothe or distract me as I’m trying to relax. I get a bit more sleep, on and off.

8:45 a.m. — G. and I actually get up and start our days. I work from home so the time between waking up and starting work is usually about 15 minutes, since I don’t typically eat breakfast. When I check my calendar partway through the morning, I realize my broader team has a last-minute calendar invite, which always makes me anxious, but the changes we learn about aren’t huge. I manage a small team so I tell them we can catch up on what this means for us later in the day. For lunch, I have some of the leftover green goddess salad that I made yesterday. In the afternoon, I take a quick break and play a silly matching game as I listen to a podcast.

6:15 p.m. — I turn off from work, though there is always more to do. I start baking a frozen chicken pot pie from the freezer and put on The Good Place. G. won’t be getting home until late so it’s my night to make food. I snack on some Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered fruit sticks as I wait for him. My mom gives me a call. She asks me if I’m worried about money for the wedding, or if I need any. I tell her that I think we’re doing fine. I’m a bit hesitant about taking money from family because of the potential strings attached, and I sometimes feel like we should be able to handle it independently. That said, I know G. will be talking to his father to accept the money he offered to contribute to the wedding. We needed time to think about it before. It would cover about 25% of our ~$25,000 wedding.

10 p.m. — I fall asleep for a bit. It may be a sugar crash from those fruit sticks. When I wake up, G. and I go on a brief walk around the neighborhood. Now that the weather is getting cooler, it’s been really lovely going on a walk. We lounge a bit when we get back home, before heading off to bed.

6:30 a.m. — Do I know why I woke up this early? Sure don’t. I manage to fall asleep for a bit but I wake up a bit tired. I start some work but set aside a half-hour for an appointment with a lawyer to discuss what I’d want out of a prenuptial agreement. It’s going to be expensive. The lawyer confirms that what I’m looking for — ensuring that my pre-marital assets stay mine — should be easy and basic to do, but requires a $7,500 retainer. I’m going to think it over but I’m probably going to go for it and hope the cost is under $5,000. I sometimes feel like I don’t want to go through this whole process, but I feel I owe it to the younger versions of myself to guarantee as much as possible that everything I did to save money or earn more in my 20s will help ensure my financial future, no matter what. The consultation fee is $525. $525

1:15 p.m. — I take a 15-minute lunch break. The day has been nonstop. I have some leftover chorizo stew that is going to go bad soon if I don’t do something about it, and I attack it with abandon before going back to work. By the afternoon, I’ve been working on so many different threads with so many different clients that I take a half-hour to close my eyes and reset. I go back to work a bit refreshed, but I can tell how my mind wanders when I’m tired.

5 p.m. — I end the day a bit early and go on a walk, which lifts my mood so much. When I get back home, I do some life chores. I find out I received $200 from participating in a research study, invest some of my money, check in on wedding planning tasks and go through our mail. When G. gets home, he makes an English muffin, boiled egg and cheese mix for dinner. It’s great. I top it off with a bit of leftover bacon. We go on a walk afterwards, where we make up names and fake lives for some of the fancy houses we pass.

7:15 p.m. — We watch some TV. We were planning on watching Taskmaster, which I got into during the pandemic, but end up watching videos about one of my favorite movies (Hot Fuzz). We hit our apartment complex’s gym afterwards. I spend the evening reading a murder mystery novel that has frankly been a slog. I kind of hate it but I also want to finish it. Once I have a sense of who I think the murderer is, I’ll probably just jump ahead and read the ending. The protagonist is a wealthy English aristocrat who is particularly insufferable.

8:30 a.m. — I wake up from a great sleep. It tends to happen every once in a while, especially after a couple of sleepless nights. I start my work day with an early client meeting — sometimes this makes me feel amped for the day but today I mostly feel stressed.

1:15 p.m. — I take a quick break for lunch. I probably should’ve tried eating earlier during one of my meetings, but didn’t get around to it. I have some of the leftover chicken pot pie, which tastes better now than it did when we first baked it.

5:45 p.m. — I go on a walk after work. I find out about some free walking tours in DC and sign up for one on Frederick Law Olmsted, the landscape architect. I don’t know too much about him, though I used to live on a street that I believe he named and think of him whenever I’m in Central Park.

7 p.m. — G. comes home. I make sweet potato fries and buffalo wings, both from the freezer. He plays Dungeons & Dragons with some friends. I look at rings and find some great options around $250 while I watch Hot Fuzz and some readings of scary stories by Watcher. I finish my murder mystery book and it’s hilarious to me that neither the protagonist nor the dreamy detective she doesn’t quite trust are central to foiling the murderer’s plans or, in fact, solving much of the murder.

11:30 p.m. — G. and I go on a walk. G’s wedding ring has arrived and it fits well. G. goes to bed before I do because I can’t sleep. I end up staying up until 2 a.m. just doing random tasks. I pay my gas bill ($23.13, included in monthly expenses), talk to Target customer support about a billing error (I get a $10 credit because they agree that 50% of $10 is not $2) and top up my DC Metro card ($100, since my credit card has a promotion that will give me $15 back if I hit the $100 threshold on public transit, though I don’t actually need to top it up yet). $100

8:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I’m both excited for the day and know it’s going to be grueling. I needed the morning to finish some tasks but end up collaborating with some coworkers who need extra support to meet some deadlines. I take the time to take an actual hour-long lunch break though, and get to chat with a coworker who is always a blast.

3:30 p.m. — My ability to focus is completely gone. I end up on Reddit and not doing much for the rest of the work day. I also end up eating a second TV dinner for no apparent reason other than boredom and frustration. For whatever reason, I browse some sites that list businesses for sale, look at Cirque du Soleil tickets and see if I want to go to a nearby Renaissance fair. I don’t tend to participate in retail therapy (food therapy is my typical reaction to stress) but it’s so easy to fixate on things to purchase when I feel like I’m not accomplishing what I should be. I also end up browsing what term life insurance would cost, since we’re hoping to try for a baby in the next year or so. I’m intimidated by the expenses with this next stage of adulthood: life insurance, prenup, a will, the cost of having a baby...

6:45 p.m. — G. comes home and we decide to go to KFC on a whim. Neither of us feels like cooking and in our cooking rotation, this is supposed to be our leftover day, but we don’t have much by way of leftovers ($17.17 for the five-piece chicken tender meal that we split). We watch The Fall Guy on Peacock. I didn’t realize we had access to Peacock — apparently, G.’s mom has it and doesn’t mind us using it. We go on a walk after the movie and I spend some time making a list of the chores I need to tackle over the weekend. I’m fairly certain I’m going to spend some time working tomorrow. I chat with G. about our weekend plans. Instead of splurging on an afternoon tea place I found, we’re going to do afternoon tea at home together to save some money. $17.17

11:45 p.m. — I end up buying a standing desk and a walkpad. A friend has inspired me to take the plunge and I’m hoping it’ll improve my activity levels and relieve some of the tension I tend to carry in my shoulders ($307.38). I make a spreadsheet as well to track my habits so that I can see if I really do get more steps. $307.38

7:45 a.m. — I wake up well before my alarm. I close my eyes for a bit, then browse Reddit. I get out of bed and do a mix of household chores and preparing breakfast. I woke up hungry for whatever reason, and have some leftover soup and toasted English muffins. I also make myself a bit of rooibos Earl Grey tea. Every weekend, both G. and I spend an hour each just tidying and cleaning. It’s been awesome for my mental health. Our apartment isn’t large so we generally get everything reset in that time. And during the week, if I see something lying around or something annoying, I don’t worry about it. That’s for my hour later in the week. I listen to a podcast about Ludwig II and Nellie Bly.

10 a.m. — G. wakes up and I spend a bit of time just chatting with him as he gets ready for the day. We head over to the nearby Nike store for a new pair of shoes. G. is on his feet all day at work and his current shoes are wearing out a bit. On the way back, we buy a pain au chocolat and a couple of savory croissants from the local farmers’ market. It isn’t the fancy scones with clotted cream and jam that I crave, but I take the simplicity of picking these up to be a win. I make some jasmine oolong tea for myself, which always reminds me of my uncle, and a fruity rooibos blend for G. The pastries are underwhelming but it’s still a nice time. $17.50

12:30 p.m. — I end up taking a looong nap. I wake up after an hour or so and I start working a bit. The first item on my to-do list turns out to be way more complicated than I originally believed and takes a few hours to complete. I for sure won’t be able to go to the Renaissance fair tomorrow, but at least I’ll have more time to grab a group of friends to join us.

6:30 p.m. — G. is spending some time with a friend so I heat up some beef noodle soup that my mom made for me. It always reminds me of home and is so good. After dinner, I go to the grocery store for everything I need for meal preparation tomorrow. I’m planning on making breaded chicken tenders, a sesame cucumber salad, and garlic butter shrimp. We already have most of the ingredients at home so I only need to buy chicken tenders, panko breadcrumbs, frozen shrimp and cucumbers. I buy a couple of pounds of apples and spinach for a healthier snack, plus some lime juice and lemongrass for a later recipe. When I get home, I curl up in a blanket with a romance novel before heading to bed. $30.56