Social media never shows the whole picture, but does it reveal the parts of yourself that you want your crush to see? It’s entirely possible that the person you’re going on a date with next week won’t understand that your selfie captions are ironic, or appreciate that you tweet a lot of puns. Figuring out exactly how much you want to reveal to the internet is hard enough, and navigating how that affects your love life adds another dimension to the challenge.

With many dating apps like Tinder and Raya now linking to Instagram, and many people using Instagram DMs like they’re a dating app, it feels like there’s no option to separate your online persona from your romantic pursuits. Can you still be goofy, or sincere, or talk about sex on social media, without making things weird with your crush?

While some people might stress about potential partners seeing their social media too early, it can be a relief for others. Maybe you see social media as something that showcases the best parts of yourself, and it’s good for a date to get a preview. Having a public Instagram or Twitter linked to your dating site bio can be an easy way to say, “take me or leave me.” If they can’t handle you at your “live vlogging the Riverdale finale,” they probably don’t deserve you at your “first date outfit and witty repartee over a cup of coffee.”