A Week In New York On A $204,000 Salary

Occupation: Development manager
Industry: Real estate
Age: 32
Location: New York, NY
Salary: $204,000
Assets: Approximately $150,000 in home equity (I bought an apartment in a co-op a few years ago), $125,000 in retirement accounts, $350,000 in stocks and $25,000 in cash bonds. My fiancé and I keep our finances separate but will combine them all when we get married.
Debt: $273,000 mortgage.
Paycheck amount (biweekly): $3,300
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $0 — my fiancé inherited his apartment and has no mortgage. He covers the maintenance and I cover our health insurance, gym membership, therapy and grocery bills.
Loan payments: $1,200 for mortgage, $950 for apartment maintenance (my sister lives in my apartment and covers these costs).
Phone: $60 (family plan).
Subscriptions: $120 (shared between family; I cover Netflix, YouTube Premium, NY Times, Spotify).
Charity: $200 (my company does a match and I try to donate every month).
Gym membership: $160
Therapy: $200
Savings: I don’t have fixed contributions to savings but whenever I save $10,000 or so, I’ll invest it. I have a hard time holding onto cash, I’d rather be aggressively investing.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I have an undergraduate degree from an Ivy League school. My father paid for my education, with the stipulation that I would graduate early to save him some tuition. I went to graduate school and worked full time while attending school. My master’s was from a public university and I did not incur any debt.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Yes, my dad was an entrepreneur. We were well off but during market changes it felt unsteady. My dad taught me the importance of investing. I can’t say he taught me to save or live frugally but he wasn’t around a lot and we had a fixed cash budget we were expected to manage at a young age. To this day, my relationship with money is really colored by my upbringing. I invest aggressively but have very little cash savings and spend way too much on discretionary items and pleasure.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I was a daycare assistant at my parents’ daycare. I worked the summer before starting college for spending money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes and no. I never worried about having money to go to college, or a place to live. But my parents were absent (like out-of-the-state absent) and the kids raised each other. We didn’t have a credit card and we would be alone for really long stretches and were expected to manage with cash. So I was always operating under a scarcity model and worried about not having money for emergencies. But I never worried that the house was going to be foreclosed on or anything like that. Looking back, it’s truly bizarre.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I worked in the public sector until a few years ago and I didn’t make enough to save on my salary alone. I am obsessive over my finances and I probably check my Monarch app too frequently. I worry about not being smart and strategic enough to take advantage of my good pay. I worry about having enough money to support my family if they need me in a crunch. I also worry about my fiancé’s parents’ financial situation — he is their safety net, and they have rising medical and long-term needs that I want to plan around.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I had a stipend from an inheritance from my mother until I was 27. The stipend was my savings and safety net — it helped me pay for my graduate school, save while living on an entry-level public sector salary, and travel. I would say I became financially responsible for myself at 27. My financial safety net is my sisters and my fiancé. I know that I could live with my sisters at the drop of a hat and if I asked for a loan they wouldn’t hesitate to empty out their bank accounts. I am the same for my sisters.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes. I received a stipend until I was 27. I also received $35,000 from my grandfather, which I put towards my down payment on my apartment. I bought my apartment when I was 28 but have not lived in it for the past two years (since I moved in with my fiancé).

8 a.m. — Wake up earlier than I want to, a little hungover from last night. I had a few glasses of wine and spritzes at a picnic event. After 30, hangovers start kicking in after one drink. I am getting married in a couple of months so today I am getting my hair and makeup trial done. Last night I made sure to wash my face and moisturize, as well as chug a bunch of water so it’s not the worst hangover I’ve had. My fiancé, D., got in late last night from his bachelor trip and is still sleeping. I go to the living room and text my friends who are in the same boat. Yesterday we talked to a friend about what she would want for her birthday/housewarming present. My friends were thinking of getting her a West Elm gift card as she said she got a new bed and would like some nice sheets. I buy the gift card from us and send it along. My portion is $150. $150

9 a.m. — He’s awake! We eat leftovers from last night (watermelon, tomatoes, cheese) and drink some coffee, and talk about his trip. We’re working on some major life decisions as we near our wedding date and we talk about money goals. It’s a little stressful since we’re both extremely independent and financially savvy so we have our strong opinions about what our financial plans should be. He’s a bit more spendy and I’m a little less.

10 a.m. — Head to my neighborhood tailor. I borrowed a cart from a neighbor for last night and we snapped a strap. I felt terrible and emailed her about what had happened, telling her that I would either get it fixed or buy her a new one. The tailor/dry cleaner is a nice man who gets way too much of my money since I started wearing silk but didn't stop being clumsy. He fixes the strap for free and I drop the cart off at my neighbor's place. No money spent!

11 a.m. — Head to my hair and makeup trial. My sister G. meets me there. She runs her own fashion company and is extremely talented and fastidious. It’s really cool to see her in her element but she does NOT like the makeup artist’s work. I’m inclined to agree but they were the cheapest vendors and I don’t really care. I venmo the artist $250 for the trial. I have a feeling it’s a sunk cost. On the way out, G. is texting her makeup artist friends for a favor. I know they’re going to be way more expensive, even at a friend discount, and make a mental note to update the wedding budget and tell D. $2.90 swipe, $250 for trial. $252.90

12 p.m. — Head to a café. I buy our drinks and snack (they have a Korean street toast and I’ve been dying to try it) as a small thank you to G. for coming to give me her expert advice. We work and chat for a couple of hours. G. tells me she has some credits at a store because of her work and I can get $200 worth of stuff. I scroll for a bit and decide that I should get some shapewear-ish underwear for my wedding (I get a lecture from her about underwear lines). We hit the doughnut shop next door so G. can pick some treats up on the way home, and say bye. She has some errands to run before she jets off to London for work tomorrow but I’ll see her later in the week. I really appreciate G., she’s been amazingly helpful and has hooked me up any way she can for my wedding. I swipe both of us into the subway. $35.80

3:30 p.m. — Trains are all messed up, a very common occurrence on the weekends. I consider doing a weird transfer/second swipe to avoid walking outside in the heat wave but decide to just hoof it for 30 minutes. Instant regret: It’s HOT. I go home and blast the A/C. $2.90

4 p.m. — I get a message from a Facebook bride. It’s a general rant about weddings — the industry is a rip-off and the couples who go through it who are reselling their things are aggressive. I joined a local wedding group, asking if anyone had any decor or wedding items that they no longer need, and I have been flooded with people trying to sell me their Temu-level crap at a marked up price. They also try to sell me their wedding dresses, unsolicited. I get that we all have sunk way too much money into our weddings but it doesn’t feel like there’s any joint effort to help other couples. The message is from another bride who’s selling me her ring pillow. She’s selling it at a slight discount. I venmo her the money and shipping costs since she’s from Long Island and I can’t take time out of work to meet her. $22

6 p.m. — Head to K-town for dinner to meet D. I had asked if we could go to dinner since I got my hair and makeup done. We go to a very nice Korean restaurant, he pays. D. has his car and we drive home.

8 p.m. — Get a call from my older sister, L. For context, my family lends money easily between ourselves. D. does not lend but he’s been taking care of big bills for his parents. This morning we talked about how after we get married, I’d contribute to his parents as well. D. doesn’t want me to but I think it’s imperative that we start looking at our family needs as our needs. L. says she might need a six-figure loan for a couple of weeks if a deal goes through (she’s also an entrepreneur). D. and I talk about it — I don’t have that much in cash but he does. He agrees to lend her the money if she needs it. It’s one of our first major financial decisions as a couple and I go to bed processing it.

7 a.m. — Sleep in later than we want to! My stomach has a bug so I don’t go to the gym. We do our morning routine, take inventory of the fridge and discuss dinner plans. D.'s mom sent him home with a ton of prepped meals (yay!) so I don’t have to do a lot this week. I chop up my snacks/leftovers for lunch so there’s no waste. Office is a five-minute walk from home so no commute cost.

11 a.m. — There’s a lot of money stuff when getting married! Have email exchange with D. over dental insurance. D. is already on my company health plan for medical. Currently, his dental is free since his aunt is his dentist. Over email, we review my company’s dental plans and decide that the amount we’d be out of pocket would be worth it, and going forward, we want to make sure D.'s aunt gets paid for her work (if we didn’t have insurance, she wouldn’t charge). I email HR. I also see that we have a lot of bills related to a medical issue D. has. Ugh. We talked about the fact that we’ll be using marital money to cover bills but right now we’re in a gray area. I’ve become the “administrator” for us (arranging doctor visits and appointments) and I think it’ll be easier for me to pay these and deal with insurance. Another money thing to talk to D. about when we get home.

1 p.m. — I’m not feeling the focus and energy I need to get through some underwriting. I get a Red Bull. $3.95

4 p.m. — Got gym bill ($160, mentioned above). I don’t know when I became a gym person but it’s totally worth it. I’ve noticed I’m a lot less tired and haven’t caught a cold in over a year. I used to call out sick a full week every year but in the last year since I started working out, I haven’t needed to. I now roll over those days for extra vacation time. Health is wealth! 

6 p.m. — Yoga class, part of membership, no cost.

7 p.m. — D. texts he’s out for a run and I heat food for myself since I’m too hungry to wait. He comes back and we chat while he eats. There’s a letter from the insurance company saying that they’re contesting the bills. So I do nothing?

8 p.m. — Flurry of calls and texts to arrange the weekend trip. My dad is coming to the area and he wants to meet my future in-laws.

10 p.m. — Doomscroll and sleep. My friends warned me that wedding planning takes a lot of mental energy, and they weren’t kidding.

6 a.m. — Wake up. Spend some time in bed and make breakfast. Since I’m up a little early, I make breakfast from leftover sourdough, Greek yogurt and some trout roe I had been saving. Delicious!

7 a.m. — Gym for some cardio. Catch up on work emails, shoot some wedding vendors a note. 

8 a.m. — Catch D. on his way to work. We decide to push back our wedding ring shopping appointment until we do some research on how much they should cost and decide how much we actually want to spend.

9 a.m. — Shower, then head to work with the last of the picnic leftovers. Will have to hit the grocery store tomorrow, we seem to be out of vegetables.

11 a.m. — I’m tired from waking up too early. I dip out to grab a Starbucks cold brew in my reusable thermos. I know it’s gross but I never finish it all in one day so it’ll last me a couple of days. Funded the app previously so no money spent, but got a 10% discount with my reusable cup!

1 p.m. — Have a lunch of leftovers and snacks from home. 

2 p.m. — Get a bunch of texts from D. about home listings. I indulge him a bit and offer to set up showing appointments but this isn’t a good idea. I like our current lifestyle where we feel like we can spend whatever we want and we’re still saving 30%+ of our income because we have really low home costs, which is unheard of in NYC. I know he’s stressed about space because we’re going to start trying for a baby after we get married. I text him that we’ll talk when we get home and look at our budget.

6 p.m. — Yoga (part of gym membership). Since I’ll be traveling this weekend, I won’t have time for working out and it’s a big food weekend so I’m trying to bulk up on my workouts.

7 p.m. — Snarf some food (prepped by D.’s mom: stir-fry and beef) and hop on a call with an old colleague who wants to pick my brain on a project. I think real estate people tend to gatekeep so I’m trying to lend an ear and connect him to whomever he needs. He’s receptive to my feedback and I tell him to email me who he’d like to connect with in my network and what he’s looking to do. Eat some chocolate-covered almonds that were in the pantry as my treat.

9 p.m. — Finish the call and talk to D. about the house. I tell him that I’d rather stay in our current place (that comes with no mortgage!) and have the budget to pay for help when the baby comes, and keep saving. He agrees but I sense that he wants a bigger place because he thinks that’s what he should have when he’s about to have a family. He doesn’t ever track his spending because he’s always had enough and I don’t think he understands the impact a giant mortgage will have on his lifestyle. I walk him through our current household expenses and income, and he gets it.

10 p.m. — For context, D. used to make twice as much money before the pandemic (six-figure bonuses, big enough to pay off his parents’ mortgages in one year etc.). Then due to the pandemic, he got laid off from a very intense, mentally punishing job. It was honestly the best thing that could have happened to us. He got a new job last year that’s half the pay but also half the hours (so a normal nine-to-five). He’s been treating this part of his life as respite and he’s finally had the time to enjoy the money he’s earned. However, I know he’s itching to go back to that world because he wants to leave on his own terms. I do not want him to do that earlier than he wants to just to service a giant mortgage. We’re both ambitious people and we have high earning potential but mental burnout is impossible to plan around. I never want us to feel trapped in a job because of fixed, voluntary costs. This is not a mentality that D. has and we will figure out how to make these decisions together.

6:30 a.m. — D. has already left for the gym. Damn!

7 a.m. — Make toast and healthy egg salad with Greek yogurt. Chipping away at the leftover sourdough has been a delicious chore.

7:30 a.m. — Gym, a little late. Quick cardio session. Get ready for work. Kiss D. goodbye.

9 a.m. — Chug the rocket fuel that Starbucks calls cold brew and lock in.

10 a.m. — Send out a pre-authorization form to the wedding venue for our wedding tasting dinner. We invited my dad, my sisters and my sister’s husband (who is officiating the wedding) to come with us. We’re getting married at an amazing restaurant and I’m so excited to show them. My dad is paying for 60% of the wedding, which allows us to have a very nice wedding, and we wanted to say thank you. I feel guilty about his gift and I have been buying bigger gifts for my parents since my engagement (dishwashers, hotels etc.). I do the form so my dad can’t sneak in his card. $1,800

1 p.m. — Oh no! My period came. Run home to change and decide since I’m on my period, I should eat a little comfort food. Heat up the frozen bibimbap that I’ve been saving as emergency comfort food. Get a text from D. that he wants to make the scallops that I froze last week because we didn’t have time to eat them. I take them out and add arugula to our grocery list for a delicious dinner.

7 p.m. — Wrap up work and then head to the grocery store in BK. It’s a co-op so they have amazing products and produce at cheaper prices. Stock up on portobello and oyster mushrooms (three pounds of oyster mushrooms, whew!) for D. to bring to his BBQ this weekend, fruit (mangos, blueberries, strawberries and gooseberries) and snacking veggies to last me for a week (corn, cherry tomatoes, celery, kale, arugula), snacks (kale chips, spicy peanuts, iced tea) for my sister road trip this week and coffee ($5.80 return swipe and $88 food spend). I always overstock when I go here, it’s my happy place! And honestly, such a deal: all this at Whole Foods would have easily cost me $200. $93.90

8 p.m. — I come home and excitedly show D. the size of the oyster mushrooms. He’s excited too and wants to cook them now but I tell him to save them for his friends. We are very lame 32-year-olds. D. opens the ring pillow I bought and we both agree that this wedding crap should be free. I mix the salad while D. cooks the scallops, and we toast some leftover bread and butter (bread and butter — is there a more delicious combination?). Dessert is strawberries and chocolate-covered almonds.

8 a.m. — Accidentally sleep in, too late to go to the gym. Damn. Eat the egg salad from yesterday but without bread (I’ve eaten half a loaf of bread this week and surprisingly I'm getting sick of it), and coffee.

9:30 a.m. — Get to work. I have a work event afterwards. My friends from my old job will be there, I can’t wait to catch up with them. We texted earlier and agreed that we’d dip out if we weren’t feeling it and get dinner.

1 p.m. — Snack on strawberries and gooseberries instead of my desk snacks (pistachios and dried edamame) since I’m eating out today.

2 p.m. — Can’t get in the zone. Nip out for an expensive coffee treat: espresso and seltzer and ginger syrup from one of the best coffee shops in NYC. I let myself get this once a week, it’s a Friday tradition. I fill out my punch card and justify this treat because it means I can get a free one tomorrow if I want! $8.72

4 p.m. — Friend texts me that another old coworker (from two jobs ago) is having a goodbye party literally next door to the work event. I decide to be crazy and do two evening things. They’re all within walking distance from the office and home.

5 p.m. — Catch up with my old colleagues from two jobs ago. It’s nostalgic. We’re on the waterfront, the weather is beautiful. I buy myself a cider and some folks a drink. $35.64

6:30 p.m. — Second event, it’s packed. I forgot it’s THE event for my industry. I buy myself a couple of Aperol spritzes, my current colleagues a drink, and do the rounds. I know it’s work but it doesn’t feel like it. I genuinely love what I do and the people in the industry are all passionate.

9:30 p.m. — We’re now at the point where I’m thirsty and hungry and tipsy. I urge my friends to leave. A friend’s ex is there and he’s given her a heavy pour of tequila. We all down it and head to get tacos. I close our bar tab. $120.56

10 p.m. — We walk to a clubby Mexican place. We get California fries, nachos, shrimp tacos, and guac and chips. I order a ranch water cocktail and regret it. Friends and I celebrate one of them buying an apartment, and we talk about our old office and our careers. It occurs to me that in my 20s, dinner topics usually revolved around our dating life. Even though everyone else except me is single, we don’t talk about dating but about our careers and personal goals. I have a great time and we agree to meet up at our friend’s housewarming and plot what to do when a neighbor complains about the party noise again. I pay the tab and venmo everyone. My share is $75. $75

12 a.m. — Walk home, bid everyone good night. Right on cue, someone I had a situationship with texts that he saw me at the event and wishes me well. I haven’t seen him since D. and I started dating. The drinking and food reminded me of my 20s and this is the cherry on top. D. is passed out when I get home. I wash my face, brush my teeth, chug some water and go to bed.

6 a.m. — Hangover. Ow. D. is out the door and at the gym. He gives me electrolyte water. He leaves early to head to his friend’s house in NJ that has a pool. They’re doing a summer Friday “WFH”. I wish I could go but I have a full day of meetings.

8 a.m. — Get my butt out of bed. I make a savory breakfast of sourdough bread, yogurt and sardines, with some lemon. Shower and get to work, grab a coconut water from the fridge and drink it at my desk. It helps.

1 p.m. — On the struggle bus. Step out to get a burrito bowl with chicken at the nearby outdoor spot. $18.74

3 p.m. — D. and I have a call with a mortgage broker to do some due diligence on buying a new place. If we’re going to look into this, I’m making us really dig into it. After the broker lays it out, D. tells me he doesn’t think we can afford a place now. We basically find out (like I’ve been saying!) that we need to sell both our places to have a big enough down payment to have a mortgage that wouldn’t tip us above 30% of our take-home pay. I resist the urge to say I told you so.

5 p.m. — G. calls to cancel on dinner because she’s food poisoned. I’m pretty disappointed; it was a collab with a restaurant based in Los Angeles. There’s a $60 cancellation fee. She offers to pay — I tell her I’ll try to get it waived. If not, I won’t tell her, it’s not her fault. I DM the restaurant and they don’t say they won’t charge the fee, but they don’t say that they will?

6 p.m. — I scroll through Uber Eats to see if anything catches my eye but decide to make my go-to pantry pasta: spaghetti with Korean fermented bean paste, homemade chili oil (D.’s mom grows her own peppers and dries them for it, quite amazing) and frozen shrimp. I eat some blueberries as dessert.

9 p.m. — Watch a few movies, pack for my road trip tomorrow with my sisters to see my dad, and chill. D. comes home and we go to bed.

6 a.m. — Up! L. is picking me up and I pack my healthy snacks.

8 a.m. — We’re on the road. All of my healthy road trip snacks are soundly rejected. I packed healthy chips, tea, string cheese, jerky, cherry tomatoes, celery and spicy peanuts from home, and they hate them all. I won’t lie, trying to be healthy as an adult sucks. We have an amazing time listening to a playlist we made for a 2022 road trip that got canceled due to COVID-19. The nostalgia is real.

10 a.m. — At a rest stop. L. and G. stock up on fun snacks (Hershey bars, coffee drinks, chips). I don’t buy anything but L. and G. pick up my favorite things since they know I’ll cave.

11 a.m. — I’ve caved. Cookies and cream Hershey bars are too good.

11:30 a.m. — We need to use the bathroom and stop by a Starbucks. G. pays for my drink.

12 p.m. — Pick up my dad from his conference hotel. We say hi to his friends, politely eat some leftover kimbap (very tasty) and head to lunch.

1 p.m. — We get mid sushi for lunch. We chat about our family and the wedding. L. pays for lunch. We decided earlier that I wouldn’t pay for food and gas since I paid for our hotel room. We’re staying at the Ritz Carlton as I really wanted to treat my family. It’s a prepaid cost; for two rooms for one night, it was $650.

2 p.m. — We get dessert (affogato) and enjoy the weather. My dad wanted outdoor seating but it’s getting pretty hot. I nip into a nearby store to grab some bottled water for my dad and pimple patches. $15.72

4 p.m. — We check into the hotel. They give us champagne when we check in and my dad loves it. My sister can’t find a nearby lot so I tell her to just do the valet parking. It’s an extra charge of $60. I also brought some cash since my sisters never have cash on them, and give them the bills to tip the bellman and other staff members. $70

6 p.m. — My dad goes to take a nap and my sisters and I chill in our room. We head out to a seafood dinner at the water. My sisters hail the cars since we want to drink. The food is really mid and the drink I got (spritz) is not hitting the spot. The restaurant is really expensive and I’m glad I’m not picking up the bill. Paying for overpriced, mid food just for the vibes sucks. My sisters pick up the bill, and we go for a little walk around the water.

7:30 p.m. — My dad is tired and wants to go back to his air-conditioned room. We’re still hungry (we stopped ordering food when we realized how bad it was). G. orders Halal Guys and buys a nice bottle of scotch. We head to my dad’s room (I got him the bigger room with a sitting/dining area) and we eat and talk and drink. Halal Guys is amazing as always — we get two mixed platters with extra hot sauce.

12 a.m. — The bottle is done and some mini bottles my dad got from his conference are gone, too. We’re all tipsy, my dad the most! He shares his thoughts on marriage and I see how much he worked to keep his partner happy. It’s a wonderful night and I feel extremely grateful that I had this time with my family.