A Week In The NYC Suburbs On A $382,994 Joint Salary

Occupation: Director
Industry: Retail trade
Age: 33
Location: NYC suburbs
Joint salary: $382,994
Assets: HYSA: $50,000; 401(k)/IRA: $275,000; taxable investments: $55,000; exercised stock options: $5,000; home value: $900,000 (less $600,000 mortgage); cars: $20,000; 529: $7,000.
Debt: Mortgage: $600,000; personal loans: $87,000 (very low interest rate; taken for home renovations when cash was cheap).
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $9,500
Pronouns: She/her

Housing costs: $5,100 (we own our home; this total is for mortgage, insurance and taxes).
Loan payments: $1,378
Daycare: $2,300
Utilities: $75 (including internet).
Electric: $200 (on average).
Cell phone: $146
Car insurance: $120
E-ZPass: $25 (auto-refill).
529 contribution: $550
Streaming & subscriptions: $160 (YouTube TV, Apple One, Netflix, Criterion, HP Ink, Hulu Trio and Oura Ring).

YNAB: $107
ProjectionLab: $117
NYT Cooking: $43
Amazon Prime: $151
Costco: $65
Local memberships: $180
Therapist: $1,400
Post-tax investments: $1,500

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was never a shadow of a doubt around attending college. I think my parents would have bent over backwards to cover tuition had I gotten into an Ivy League school, but I didn’t. Instead of going to the very good UC schools I got into, I chose to go to a smaller school on the East Coast where I got a full scholarship. My parents fully paid for my room and board for all four years.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My dad could be a tightwad about the small things so it always felt like we didn’t have money growing up. For the early part of my childhood, this was true, but by the time I was a teen we were quite comfortable. My parents are big savers in general but always knew how to invest the money they made. After I started college, they were very open about their finances with me, including about their income and real estate investments. In addition, despite a late start in her career, my mom showed that she could continue to get promoted despite not having the requisite degrees, and was a great role model and sounding board for me when we started climbing our respective corporate ladders. My parents remain open with their finances with me — last year I surpassed my mom’s current base salary (though not all-in comp).

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I babysat for my neighbors starting at age 13, and created a WordPress fansite in high school for $600. I also tried out telemarketing for a mortgage broker but that was a terrible job that was commission only and I lasted two weeks (needless to say, no paycheck there). My first W-2 job was working at the local mall during the summer of my freshman year at college. I always had a desire to work to have my own spending money, though my dad kept my debit card locked up until college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
For the first 10 years of my life I think my family actually struggled a bit because my parents were in grad school/had a single income but after that, not really. I did always feel like we never got the same “fun” stuff as friends growing up but in retrospect this was how my parents valued investing/saving over spending at that point in time.

Do you worry about money now?
Nope. Between adopting the YNAB system in 2019 and some very significant raises in the last few years, this is the most confident and secure I’ve felt about financials, ever. I got into a bit of credit card debt at age 22 but my FOMO has eased up a lot since then. My husband and I have also fully integrated our finances since marriage (I happen to be the higher earner) so we really have a shared mindset there.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 22, after graduating college and starting my first job.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, my parents gifted my husband and me the down payment for our first home the year after we were married. This was significant — it represented a 30% down payment, given a competitive housing market. The way my mom explained it to me, she and my dad wanted to give us an inheritance when it made a difference (in our 20s) rather than when it didn’t (60+); they also helped out my younger brother in the same way.

8 a.m. — I’m a couple days into a week-long family visit with my parents. Our original plans for the day are dashed: My son started throwing up water this morning so I rush off to CVS with my brother and purchase children’s Tylenol and some Pedialyte before hopping on an important work call I committed to joining. Turns out he has no fever, but we introduce electrolytes back to him slowly. $24.46

12 p.m. — I go to In-N-Out with my brother and husband, W., and we treat. Fries are the worst at In-N-Out, I don’t know why we bothered to order them, even well done. $26.78

12 p.m. — We also stop by the Super Walmart down the street and buy my mom a rose bush as an early Mother’s Day present — she’s a practical woman and appreciates a plant over a bouquet. $16.50

2 p.m. — Our son is feeling much better, and is up and about and keeping water and food down again. We think the travel, missed naps and overall excitement of being across the country has worn down his little body so we decide to just hang around the house the rest of the day.

4 p.m. — I buy an early-access Sims/city-building game called Clanfolk ($19.50) on W.’s Steam Deck (it went on sale from my wish list) to play while he makes a beer run ($25.48). To accompany dinner, he picks up a fancy dry Japanese lager called Nado to try out, in place of my request for Asahi. $44.98

6 p.m. — We eat hot pot at home with my parents, who have bought enough ingredients to feed a small army.

8 p.m. — After little buddy’s been put to bed, W. and I take a walk around the neighborhood to work off some of the giant meal we just had. I get spooked out and cold after half an hour and we turn back. I browse on my phone while W. plays on his Steam Deck and I’m asleep by 9:30 p.m.

9 a.m. — I got eight and a half hours of sleep last night, of which 30% was REM, according to my Oura Ring. I’ve been having some crazy dreams lately and last week had some pretty sleepless nights due to work but really have been sleeping well these last few days on vacation, despite nightly midnight wake-ups to settle my son, who is usually a much better sleeper than this (I blame jet lag). I take a nice walk over to an awesome Cambodian-run doughnut shop nearby with W. and our son, and we get ourselves breakfast and a dozen doughnuts to bring home to the rest of the family for future breakfasts. W. spots a Cybertruck hidden under a tarp in one of the driveways we walk past. $30.71

11 a.m. — I take a work call and answer some Slacks/emails while W. and our son hang out and watch Paw Patrol.

12 p.m. — After much debate, W. and I decide to get boba and popcorn chicken (a high-school classic for me) instead of a “real” lunch. I get a half-sweet dirty taro boba and he gets iced tea with cheese cream foam — don’t shit on this before you’ve tried it, it’s absolutely delicious. Bit of sticker shock on the price though, even mentally baselining against NYC prices. $39.52

2 p.m. — We go to the nearby fun center with grandpa and buy a round of mini-golf. Our Pre-K son makes it through 12 holes before calling it quits and we wrap up in the arcade. I have so much fun on Dance Dance Revolution that I consider buying one for home to encourage myself to exercise. $72.50

4 p.m. — Turns out I’m very hard on my Everlane anorak on these annual trips. I ripped a sleeve on a fence on this exact visit last year, and this year my son puked on it just as we were de-planing. I put it through the wash but it still looks worse for wear so I snag a new one in a new color on sale. While I’m at it, I can’t resist a pair of sneakers and an alpaca sweater, both on steep discount. $197.28

6 p.m. — My mom and brother get home from work and the six of us head over to the nearby taqueria my brother and I are big fans of. My mom comments that she hasn’t had a taco since I was in high school. She keeps that streak going and orders a quesadilla. I get quesabirria and a chorizo taco. W. and I pay for the family’s meal. $139.47

8 p.m. — W. makes another beer run while I put my son to bed around 7:30 p.m. We pull out the mahjong table and play a few rounds. I start feeling really tired and drink a small cup of instant coffee. $17.31

9 p.m. — It’s clear I’m the biggest net loser of our mahjong rounds. Good thing we use playing cards and not real money. The coffee didn’t help much and I’m ready to be in bed so I excuse myself for nighttime rituals and browse on my phone until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I can be a wuss about jet lag.

6 a.m. — I forgot to change my alarm and it goes off at 6:15 a.m. W. and I are both semi-awake anyway. I check work emails on my phone in bed and see that one of my direct reports already started a deck I was meant to work on, and this makes me feel very proud. I’ll go through and review it later today. I write this diary in bed for a while. Yikes, we spent a lot yesterday.

8 a.m. — Doughnuts for breakfast!

9 a.m. — I listen to an interesting webcast on AI and browse some work emails while I’m at it. I take a look at the slide deck and it’s even further along since the email this morning.

10 a.m. — W., my dad and I pack our son into the car and head over to a park. Most of the activities/showcases are closed on weekdays but we have fun looking around the outdoor exhibits anyway. The park itself is free and my dad pays for us to park the car.

12 p.m. — We go to a Vietnamese sandwich shop and my dad pays for our bánh mì. I get a grilled pork one and my son deconstructs his chicken and avocado before consuming all the avocado, a few bites of bread and is cajoled into eating a couple pieces of the chicken.

2 p.m. — While our son takes a nap, W. and I decide to walk the mile and a half to the boba place from yesterday. We talk about what we watched on the plane and dream about front yard hardscaping and turning our basement into an arcade/karaoke center. When my company goes public and I get promoted to VP, I say. He bets I’ll be in the C-suite six years from now — possible, but could be a reach. Let’s see if his time horizon is right. At the plaza, we get my boba with cheese foam and pick up some fancy IPAs for him. $24.13

6 p.m. — I hang out with my son until dinner, which is home cooked by my dad.

8 p.m. — Bath then bedtime for the little boy. The five adults play poker tonight. Mom is surprisingly good and cleans us out. I hold my own decently but W. goes from bluffing and losing it all to third place at the end.

10 p.m. — We are grown up, boring and tired, and that’s perfectly fine with me. Everyone is in bed by now.

9 a.m. — I’m antsy and annoyed this morning. Not in a great mood. Feels like I’m just waiting around but unable to really chill and do any real relaxing. It comes out somewhat passive-aggressive to W.

11 a.m. — Lunch is dumplings at home before we head over to the airport. My dad drops us off; my son is staying behind with my parents the next two nights.

2 p.m. — Oops, I completely forgot about Southwest’s “no assigned seating” policy when I booked the tickets a few months ago and then checked in super late this morning. Flight is delayed but not by enough for me to find a matcha. We end up moving gates. W. and I are second-last to board of everyone on the entire plane and are separated on the flight. I get lucky and end up with an aisle because I ask for the middle seat between a teenager and his mom.

4 p.m. — Wow, Seattle Ubers are quite pricey, all coming up $80. Probably surge pricing. We see an empty taxi line at ground transportation and jump in for a more reasonable fare. $55.50

5:30 p.m. — After a quick check-in and drop-off at the hotel, we Uber over to meet W.’s friends (plus one of their boyfriends) at a ramen shop for dinner. We each get a warm bowl and split an appetizer. The boyfriend pays for all of us. $32.96

7 p.m. — We move on to a brewery a couple blocks down and buy a couple rounds ($79.32) before grabbing an Uber back to the hotel ($34.98). $114.30

9 p.m. — Quick bodega (what do they call these on the West Coast again?) visit to pick up a couple of waters. $4.50

7 a.m. — We start our day at Pike Place Market, which is just starting to open up. Our hotel is close enough to walk there, just a couple blocks. I test out some heeled shoes with my trendy outfit but they’re rubbing my ankle in an annoying way so I know they aren’t going to be comfortable enough to last the day. I opt for my trusty Vans. We grab some coffee at a bakery and head back to the hotel. $9.08

8:30 a.m. — After some discussion back at the hotel room, we decide to start off the day in Capitol Hill, where we plan to visit the Asian Art Museum. Another Uber is called. $16.96

9 a.m. — We find a notable breakfast sandwich spot listed on The Infatuation and head over for a second round of coffee and a pair of identical English muffin, ham and mushroom egg sandwiches. $33.19

11 a.m. — We stroll slowly along to the museum and stop in a few shops/bookstores along the way until we know it’s open. We contribute the full recommended donation for two adults. It’s a great museum, the perfect size. When we leave the building, we go in search of Bruce Lee’s grave but get distracted by a greenhouse. I’m a bit of a plant person and convince W. to join me for the $6/person entrance fee. $47.98

1 p.m. — I’m tired of all the walking and want to find a place to sit and sip. A boba place appears in short order and I get my week’s favorite: jasmine green tea with cheese foam, 50% sweet, and tapioca pearls. $7.46

2 p.m. — W. calls the car this time (he’s a Lyft user) and we head over to UW to visit the Henry Art Gallery with our friend. We also end up visiting the Ballard Locks Fish Ladder and browse some cool furniture stores. I convince W. that shipping furniture across the country is probably not worth it. $20.65

4 p.m. — Dinner is on the early side at the seafood restaurant our hosts pick out, since they don’t take reservations. Our friend calls us the Uber and her boyfriend meets us at the restaurant. Delicious Pacific Northwest food and cocktails abound. W. spontaneously decides to cover the meal for everybody — it’s a bit steeper than he had anticipated. $421.76

6 p.m. — We hit up a couple stores as our post-meal digestive and wander the Ballard area. We find a gift for my brother, whose birthday is coming up this weekend. $40.60

7 p.m. — We then head to a couple breweries (one pretty awful, one pretty good). Our friends buy two rounds but W. was always a beer guy so samples a few beyond that. Personally, I’m looking for the least beer-like beers on the menu. $40.57

9 p.m. — Uber back and end up in a bit of a spat. One of us is drunker than the other and that doesn’t make for a great conversation. $34.97

6 a.m. — We’re both up way early this morning but make up after we both said some nasty things to each other. We each shower and get ready for the day.

8 a.m. — We visit the restaurant downstairs for breakfast — my octopus hash is delicious. We take another walk to Pike Place Market afterwards. $92.47

11 a.m. — We check out of the hotel, paying for our two-night stay, and head out early to the airport. $549.50

11:30 a.m. — We were told about the light rail and are excited to try it out. We make a mistake and almost take the monorail ($7.50) but W. catches this error in time and we make it to the lower level to catch the right train ($6). This mistake is still way cheaper than an Uber or a taxi. $13.50

12 p.m. — The airport security line is pretty long. Good thing we arrived so early. We grab a couple drinks at the mezzanine bar. I grab a poke bowl from a bar and W. grabs a burger at McDonald’s. $32.21

2 p.m. — Flight is on time but full. Good thing W. reminded me to check in so we got the tail end of B group instead of C group like last time. Somehow my luck holds and I end up with another aisle but W. gets stuck in a middle seat again.

5 p.m. — My dad and our son pick us up at the airport for a quick drive home. I take our toddler to the playground while dinner is cooked. Cake is served for my brother’s birthday and my son is very excited and sings a lovely birthday serenade.

7 p.m. — I hit buy on the home DDR machine. $617.38

10 a.m. — We have just enough time before our flight to go to dim sum for breakfast. Technically morning tea (which is what dim sum is) is a brunch-like meal that can be eaten until 2pm, but we are at the restaurant right when it opens. My parents pay for the meal.

1 p.m. — We head off to the airport. Both my parents accompany us; my dad drives.

3 p.m. — Before the flight we have a meal at a restaurant W. says gives classic “Global Coffeehouse” vibes — you know, the 2010s places with menus featuring lots of sun-dried tomatoes, artichokes and avocado? Afterwards, still waiting for the flight, I browse duty-free with my son in tow and get him a chocolate bar. $58.98

11 p.m. — Our flight lands late because of the time zone change. W.’s mom is sweet enough to pick us up and drive us home.

Weekly Total $$ Spent: $2,878.16
Food & Drink: $1,082.94
Entertainment: $139.98
Home & Health: $641.84
Clothes & Beauty $197.28
Transportation $209.52
Other $606.60