From having your first kiss to getting your first period, there are many “firsts” that mark your right of passage into adulthood. And while most are pretty monumental, some are a little more under-the-radar. One such low-key feat? Buying your very first bra — or, more likely, asking your mom to take you to the mall to get one.

As exciting — and perhaps slightly embarrassing — as that moment was, there’s a certain triumph that ensues from locking your girls into wires, padding, and lace, day by day, during your teen years. But what follows is a pretty common tale: soon, the best part of your day becomes unhooking your clasp at the end of it. And we don’t blame you. More and more people with breasts are becoming less attached to even wearing a bra at all. But it isn’t always smooth sailing.

Though bra sales have been steadily declining — and bralettes and #FreeTheNipple have become more commonplace — going sans bra is still considered a rebellious act. But why? Above, we get into the “protocol” for wearing a bra and break down the stigma, the myths, and the complicated feelings around your girls’ sometimes best friend.