A Week In San Diego On A $475,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Healthcare consultant
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 46
Location: San Diego
Salary: Around $475,000 gross (average household income). My husband works full-time and we center our budget around his income exclusively (which is $292,000 per year plus bonus and stock awards, which are highly variable from year to year. We never count on them so they are always a welcome surprise). Last year his bonus was about $150,000 and we cashed in vested stock options from prior years for about $25,000. I stepped down from my full-time job when my husband and I decided to have kids. Being a contractor, I get compensated very well for the hours I work but the work is never steady, it has highly variable peaks and valleys. It’s worth it to raise my kids being very hands on. Averaged out, my salary is about $60,000 per year but I’ve had plenty of years when it has been double or half that.
Assets: Checking: $38,000; HYSA: $270,000 (some of that tagged for housing projects and a potential new business line which would involve manufacturing a product); retirement investments (a blend of Roth IRAs, 401(k)s, brokerage accounts): $3.6 million; non-retirement investments (aggressive strategy: 80% equities, 20% money market): $650,000; unexercised stock grants: $160,000; HSA: $28,000; overfunded life insurance policy: $200,000; home equity: $2,400,000. We have other assets for our kids (529s, custodial Roths) but I don’t consider that our money, that is for them.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (biweekly): $7,550. $6,300 biweekly from my husband’s full-time job (net, after taxes, HSA and 401(k) contributions (we max out both the latter)). Averaged out, about $2,500/month for me (net of taxes. I hold back 50% of my pay to cover taxes and any business costs e.g. printer, continuing education, sales, etc.).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Just property taxes, which averages out to $1,200.
Loan payments: $0
Gas/electric: $150 (San Diego weather is so perfect, we rarely use heat or air-conditioning).
Phone: $110
Water: $150
Internet: $70
Hulu: $90 (getting really annoyed with the frequency of their price hikes! Currently considering other options).
Lawn cutting: $125.
529 contributions: $800

Annual Expenses

We worked really hard to fund our (eventual) retirement early on, knowing the value of compound interest. We work with our financial advisor and are ahead of our retirement goals. This allowed us to no longer have to contribute additional money to retirement, though usually when we close out our fiscal year around tax time, we will throw any extra money into our retirement accounts then.
Car insurance: $1,500 (two cars, owned outright, both bought used and paid for in cash).
Home insurance: $3,500 (includes earthquake rider).
Term life insurance: $1,200 ($1 million for each of us).
Additional life insurance policy overfunding: $19,500 (we do this to have a vehicle in retirement that we can withdraw from tax-free).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. College wasn’t really an option for me but an expectation. At the same time, my parents had modest incomes and I knew I couldn’t apply out of state or anywhere expensive. My parents paid for my undergrad and grad school. I went back for another master’s degree and that one I paid for on my own, with some contributions from my employer.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Very minimal. My parents never got themselves in debt or financial trouble. But they also didn’t have much financial wisdom to impart. The little they told me, I later learned was poor advice but they didn’t know any better.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was selling snacks and checking people in at a community pool in our neighborhood when I was 13. I made $2.50 an hour and I loved it. I worked all the hours I could and at that rate, big paychecks would end up being about $70. I would go to the mall with my friends, feeling like the world was my oyster and I could buy anything with that paycheck!

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I never took on that worry or stress as a child. At the same time, I knew we didn’t have a lot. If my parents had an unexpected expense, like a car needing repair, they would stress about how to pay for it or if they had to wait for a paycheck before getting it fixed.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I try to remind myself that I shouldn’t, but I do. Security is so important to me that I worry about not having it. My husband has lost his job twice during our marriage. Both times it scared the crap out of me, but it ended up being the best thing. He got very generous severance payouts and found a new job immediately both times so we just put the severance monies into our retirement accounts. I am pretty savvy with personal finances so I direct all our investments and make our family budget. My husband and I are very aligned in our values so he completely trusts me with this and he knows I give him updates when something significant occurs. We have worked hard to set up our financial picture to give us security and so that if something were to happen to his job again, we’d be totally fine. I always take solace in knowing that if things ever got really bad, we could move to a lower-cost state. If you can live well in San Diego, you can afford to live anywhere else. But I hope that never happens, California taxes are worth every penny. It’s an incredibly beautiful state with amazing schools.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
When I finished grad school the first time around, at age 23. Our safety nets are those we have put in place for ourselves.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Inheritance: never, and unlikely that I ever would. Passive income: At times we have had more properties and rented them out, and of course the HYSA and investments are always generating income. That just gets reinvested, we don’t take the income they generate.

6 a.m. — I wake up naturally (sans alarm, which is set for 7:02 a.m. just in case, and because I feel like the number two is lucky). I take my zinc-based multivitamin and start to make my homemade mocha (all organic, mostly raw ingredients, and the reason I get out of bed most mornings). I enjoy my mocha along with my brain games (Wordle, Letter Boxed, Connections, Spelling Bee and The Mini) on the backyard patio.

7 a.m. — My kiddos wake up and I close out my morning phone time. My oldest daughter turned 11 this weekend. She was experimenting with the new makeup she got for her birthday and got blepharitis (fancy for inflamed eyelid). Even though it’s nothing contagious, it looks kinda serious so she’s staying home from school today. My husband, C., works from home, so I keep my schedule as it is without having to worry about care for her when I’m out.

8 a.m. — I tend to the household tasks that need to get done daily — breakfast dishes, tossing in a load of laundry, tidying up the home from morning prep — and then I head outside for my sprinting workout. It only takes 20 minutes but it kicks my butt and I love it. We’re newish to California and I love everything about it here. Being able to get outside comfortably year-round is huge for me — the ocean air is somehow both invigorating and relaxing. I find myself bursting with joy multiple times each day at how amazing it is here. I love California!

10 a.m. — I hop in the shower and have a half-lunch. On Mondays I typically do two workouts (the sprints for my lower body and cardio and then an upper-body lifting class) and I need energy in between the two workouts to sustain me through the second one. My half-lunch today is half a kombucha and toast topped with spinach and mozzarella (I had the second half before I picked up the kids from school). My daughter is working on homework her teacher emailed over and we talk through multiplication factor trees throughout the meal.

10:45 a.m. — We have neighbors coming over tonight for dinner and my meal choices aren’t always kid-friendly so I walk up to the grocery store and grab chicken patties and buns for an easy kid dinner option. I am usually picky about the ingredients in all of our groceries but when we have guests, their kids frequently leave a lot of food (which they’d served to themselves), so I buy what is on sale (which, luckily, both the buns and patties are). $7.88

11:30 a.m. — I head to my lifting workout class. I love the energy in these classes. My membership is free because I teach yoga classes at the studio.

4 p.m. — I stay home to start making dinner. This one has a lot of prep (homemade enchiladas with a tomatillo yogurt sauce and apple pie with the apples we picked last weekend). I pour myself what is left of the cab my husband and I opened last night (less than half a glass). I love to sip while I cook, it makes the whole process relaxing for me. C. takes our youngest to skateboard lessons. We zelle the coach. $25

6 p.m. — The neighbors arrive for dinner and it’s a lovely night of community and friendship.

5:45 a.m. — Up early today for whatever reason, but still got in eight hours. Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio. Healthy habits. It’s 57 degrees out and smells like fall.

7:30 a.m. — I walk both daughters to school and then go straight into my workout for today, a six-mile loop from our house that goes through a canyon in our neighborhood, along the beach, with some steep hills at the end to get back up to our house. I listen to podcasts and call a friend during the walk. I’m hungry as soon as I finish so I heat up leftovers from last night. It feels early for an enchilada but it also feels so right. I also have a piece of last night’s apple pie.

10:15 a.m. — I listen to some of the remote learning modules for the yoga certification training I am currently taking. Since my consulting work is slow right now, I figured this was a good time to learn new things. While listening, I read the PTA’s latest email, which includes the option to purchase this year’s yearbook for an early bird 10% off discount. I buy one for my two daughters to share. $33.94

2 p.m. — Getting hungry so I snack on some tortilla chips with the vegan queso dip from last night, and a few ginger snap cookies. Then I walk to pick up my girls from school. I take my youngest to gymnastics. We’ve been trialing different gyms and instructors and last week she found a great fit for her. Today we pay the initiation fee plus the prorated amount for the rest of this month. $381.50

6 p.m. — Dinner at home. Everyone has leftovers from the past few nights. We belong to a couple of wine clubs and a shipment arrived today and was charged to our card on file. I consider our wine clubs part of our monthly budgeted expenses (not a revolving cost) since we can always cancel a shipment anytime we want. We open one of the bottles to enjoy tonight. I often have a large appetite during the day (I think because of my intense workouts) and minimal at night, so I just pair some cheese with my bubbly. After dinner, C. and I walk the dogs around the neighborhood and then get the girls ready for bed. $110.83

6:30 a.m. — Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio. Cheaper and healthier than any coffee I’d buy.

7:15 a.m. — I teach yoga on Wednesday mornings so I head out early. C. helps the girls get ready for school and a neighbor takes them there. After teaching my class, I stay at the gym to take a HIIT class for myself. Afterwards, I stop at the grocery store across the street and purchase kombucha for our household for the week. Then I drive to the beach and enjoy one of the kombuchas while walking for a few miles. It’s relaxing and makes me so happy. $23.73

11 a.m — I’m starved as soon as I get home. I eat the last piece of apple pie and call in an order for the bar at my favorite seafood shack. My Cajun salmon tacos are ready as soon as I get there. I chitchat with my favorite server there about her plans after school, and tip her extra (tacos: $10.98 + $4 tip). Wednesdays are always a half day at school and the restaurant is halfway to the school, so I continue walking from there to school. C. texts me to see if I’m still up at the seafood shack as he is heading there for lunch as well, but we just miss each other (another $14.98 for his tacos). $30.96

12:30 p.m. — The PTA is selling spirit shirts and since C. is a doting dad (and the girls’ biggest fan!) I place an order for a tee and hat for him. The girls want to play at the school park for a while, then two friends want to continue playing, so we invite them to our house and all walk home together. $48.95

4:30 p.m. — All the kiddos have been picked up and I’m out of concealer so my girls and I drive up to Sephora. They are at the age where they think makeup is exciting and they love to look around. I see the dry shampoo that was cited as a guest’s favorite product on a podcast I was listening to, so I buy the trial size to see if it’s any good ($51.73 in total). I check my email when I get home and there’s a deal on basketball tickets through one of my daughter’s teams, so I grab a couple for an upcoming game in November ($52.02). $103.75

6 p.m. — There is a Moms’ Happy Hour organized by one of the room moms at school. Everyone I meet is genuinely welcoming and kind. I have one drink and no one is really eating, and I’m not that hungry in the evening per usual, so I stick with that and grab a few random snacky items when I get home to be sure hunger doesn’t wake me up at night. $21.43

6:45 a.m. — Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio then walk the girls to school. When I get home I place our weekly Target order online. We have a whiteboard in the kitchen where everyone in the family writes what they need, which has worked out far better than people telling me items they need at random times and me trying to remember it all. On this week’s list: hairspray, detangler, aluminum foil, dog food, and lunch box snacks. $130.62

8:30 a.m. — I take care of all the daily morning tasks — laundry, dishes, etc. — and then it’s yoga for today’s workout. I plan out my sequence for the next class I teach and then perform it on my own for my workout. When I finish, I walk for a pedicure ($36 including tip, with cash discount). For lunch, I sauté up frozen shrimp and add mixed frozen veggies, then season with butter, chili powder and my favorite condiment: salt. $36

2:30 p.m. — Walk to pick up the girls from school. As soon as we’re home, they start homework and I start on the minestrone soup we’re having for dinner. There’s a lot of chopping in the prep work and they always say soup is better if it simmers for a while, so I prep early to give it extra simmer time.

5:45 p.m. — After dinner we head to the candy shop to get cute chocolate place settings for my daughter’s birthday party tomorrow. We take our neighbor with us and I get them all some chocolate for tonight. They play around in the shopping center courtyard as I catch up on Marco Polos with friends. When we get home, the girls aren’t listening when I tell them five-ish times that’s it’s time to shower, so I eventually send them to bed early. Once they’re in bed I plan out my meals for the next week and prep my grocery list. I do one big grocery run for the week at a smaller, healthier store (we can always walk to the big box grocery store down the street if we need something in a pinch). I always divide my list into two columns (room temp on the left side, refrigerated on the right) and shop the left side first. It has everything we need for lunches and dinners for the next week. This week’s list includes what we’ll need when my daughter’s friends are over tomorrow for her birthday. $56.08

9 p.m. — I look into flights to travel back to my hometown in early December when that side of the family celebrates Christmas. I alternate which year I take which daughter so they each get their own special Mommy & Me trip. We’re going to need to switch airlines since the one we used to use doesn’t do many flights out of the airport in our new city. I find a less-than-great flight (it has a connection) that will drain our frequent flyer miles, leaving us free to switch to another airline leaving nothing behind. Minimal fees to use points. $18

6:45 a.m. — Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio. It’s Dad & Doughnuts day at school and C. is volunteering to serve the doughnuts so they’re all out of the house pretty early today.

9 a.m. — I head north for a yoga class with some friends ($22), gas up on the way home ($63.92) and shop my grocery list ($205.16). I stick to my list except for some cute white pumpkins that I think will add nice table décor for the party, and gummy bears because the store carries the kind with no food dye and my daughter loves them. I get home and have some smoked coho salmon on sourdough bread (both on the grocery list), a protein bar and kombucha. $291.08

12:30 p.m. — I prep the house for the party. Before I pick up the girls from school, I walk to the store down the street for burger buns (there were few options and all were pricey at the first store) and the yogurt my daughter likes in her school lunches for next week (not carried at the first store). $19.57

3 p.m. — I take my daughter to yet another grocery store so she can pick out her own birthday cake, candles and a few snacks for tonight. $32.65

5:30 p.m. — Party guests arrive. I am amazed at how kind and polite all the girls are. It is my first time meeting some of them because my daughter just started at this school a month and a half ago. After dinner they watch a movie, Inside Out 2, which we purchase on Prime. $18.99

6:45 a.m. — Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio. This brings me joy daily and I love it on repeat.

8 a.m. — Workout of sprints outside and lower-body resistance training at the park. C. and the girls join me at the park and they run around and play with our dogs there.

11 a.m. — We head to the Super Girl Surf Pro competition — a super fun, all-female event. Another mom comes with me, along with her daughters, and we bring another friend of my youngest. There’s tons of free swag and the girls go crazy for it. I buy my girls (and the kiddo we brought) matching bracelets ($23) and lunch ($55) with ice cream ($18). We watch the surfers from the beach. I love seeing them catch waves but I have no idea how a surfing competition is actually scored. $96

5 p.m. — We get home after a long day in the sun. I’d love to just crash but there’s a parent mixer event for our oldest daughter’s class. I signed up to bake brownies. I make a homemade batch quickly. C. and I head out to the party. We are home by 8 p.m. and in bed by 9 p.m.

7 a.m. — I slept soooo sound and feel so rejuvenated. Homemade mocha and brain games on the back patio. I think I do pretty well on Wordle today but the friends I share my results with on text daily both got it in two!

9 a.m. — Head to a HIIT workout class. I work out every day — I believe in the power of exercise to boost mood above all else, it’s a non-negotiable for me. I already see the difference in friends of mine who don’t exercise — they’re starting to complain about aches and pains, decreased energy levels or are on prescription medications, none of which applies to C. or me and which I totally attribute to our active lifestyle.

11 a.m. — The house is quiet as C. took the girls to Sunday School. He attends a service while they’re there. I read a book in the quiet house.

12:30 p.m. — A friend picks my youngest up for a playdate. I take my oldest out to use some of her birthday gift cards.

4 p.m. — I teach my yoga class then hurry home to make homemade chicken nuggets for C. and the girls. I have a few because I don’t know if there is food served at the venue I’m going to tonight. A friend and I have tickets for Debbie Gibson’s Acoustic Youth tour. My friend is a single mom and I wanted to treat her, so I bought both our tickets. You have to be from a certain era to want to see it and Debbie was big in our prime middle school years, so we are the perfect audience for this. Debbie crushes it and even walks through the audience while performing. My friend hugs her when she gets near us — the embrace is longer than Debbie seems to have expected. My friend buys me a drink at the bar there.