In my current apartment, nearly the entire wall near my bed is taken up by a pair of massive, mirrored closet doors. So naturally, one of my first thoughts upon moving in was, “I guess I’ll have to get really comfortable watching myself have sex.”
If you’ve never tried it before, using a mirror during sex might sound a bit awkward, or even narcissistic. And yet, there’s something inherently sensual about the idea of watching yourself – and your partner – experience pleasure.
“Mirrors are a great way to get a peek of the action that you may not usually be able to see during sex,” says Stephanie Alys, co-founder and chief pleasure officer of MysteryVibe. “This can be as simple as watching your partner kiss your neck, to seeing a whole lot more than the top of a head during oral sex.”
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Instead of only experiencing sex from your own point of view, using a mirror allows you to watch from all angles, which can make even the most “routine” sex feel totally fresh and brand new. And luckily for beginners, there’s no real reason to feel intimidated: There’s no “wrong” way to use a mirror during sex, and you can always close your eyes if you need a break from the visuals.
If you have a large mirror in your space, try standing in front of it during upright positions — like standing doggy style or face-to-face sex. Or you can lie down on a blanket in front of it while in a horizontal position – like missionary or woman-on-top sex. When you’re feeling adventurous, you can venture to places besides the bedroom: hop up on a bathroom counter (don’t forget to disinfect it!) and look back at yourself and your partner in the mirror every now and then.
It’s not just full-size mirrors that can come in handy as sexual props, either. According to Mackenzie Riel, a sex and wellness educator at TooTimid, you can also use a handheld or compact mirror to get up close and personal during sex. You can also use mirrors during foreplay: take turns watching each other perform oral sex, or do a sexy striptease that’s visible from every angle.
“While large mirrors are perfect tools, small hand mirrors can be used effectively to make sex more erotic,” says Riel. “Hold a small mirror during penetration so you can see your partner going in and out of you, while receiving oral lying down, or to see different angles of your partner while you mess around during foreplay.”
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Aside from the added visual stimulation you’re getting thanks to the mirror, using a mirror to watch yourself have sex can also help you foster a more intense, intimate connection with your partner. Particularly if your go-to sex positions don’t typically lend themselves to a lot of eye contact, using a mirror is a sneaky way to ensure you’re able to look at your partner while having sex, no matter what position you’re in.
“Being able to lock eyes during sex is super intimate and creates a stronger connection – and some of your favorite positions may not involve you and your partner face-to-face,” says Alys. “Take advantage of being able to see them in the mirror to create the connection there, while you continue to focus on the sensations in front of or behind you.”
But your partner isn’t the only one who you should be trying to connect with in the bedroom: being in touch with your own sexuality is just as (if not more) important as connecting sexually with a partner. Using a mirror to watch yourself masturbate is a sexy way to intimately connect with yourself — and watching while you turn yourself on (and get yourself off) can actually help you learn even more about your sexual likes and dislikes.
“Mirrors are a great way to further explore your desires during solo play,” Alys says. “Watching your hands or your favorite vibrator explore your body can be part of the process of getting to know what you like. Sink into the affirmation that you and your body are a show worth watching!”
The beauty of using mirrors during sex is that they’re a simple, low-effort prop that can nonetheless have a major impact on your sex life. So the next time you want to feel a little extra closeness to your partner (or yourself), settle down in front of the nearest mirror and let yourself experience sex and intimacy from an entirely new point of view.