A Week In Oklahoma City On A $120,400 Joint Income

Occupation: Outreach coordinator
Industry: Government
Age: 34
Location: Oklahoma City
Salary: $52,000
Joint income: My husband J. and I made the decision to join our finances after I recorded my week, so this diary will only reflect my spending. We have kept our bank accounts separate the last four years, but our combined income after he received a raise at the end of the year has gone from $115,200 to $120,400.
Assets: Checking: $1,317; HYSA: $4,138; Roth IRA: $11,383; 401(a): $5,666.
Debt: Home: $191,588; car: $18,193.
Paycheck Amount (Monthly): $3,340
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,563 mortgage, split with J.
Loan Payments: Car: $500, split with J.
401(a): $173 (4% of my pre-tax paycheck, matched at 6% by my employer).
Health, Dental & Vision Insurance: $1,550 for all three of us, covered by my benefit allowance.
Bills: ~$800 (gas, water, electric, internet, car insurance, cell phones — split with J.).
Dance Class: $45 (split with J.).
Therapy: $25 copay (per visit).
Car Wash Subscription: $12
Planned Parenthood: $10
Life Insurance: $12
Gyms: $21.71
ClassPass: $35
AppleCare: $7.99
Ring Cam: $4.99
Wyze Cam: $2.99
Hulu/Disney+: $10.99
Amazon/Spotify/iCloud Storage: Covered by J.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, my mother worked in education and I was always a good student. I loved learning and reading. I went to a local state school for a bachelor’s degree. I received a few small scholarships and took out as much as I could in loans. My parents helped cover the rest. I graduated with about $30,000 in student loans that I paid off in 2018.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My dad always encouraged me to save my money. I watched my parents balance their checkbooks, but we didn’t have in-depth conversations about how to handle finances. My parents both grew up poor and worked hard to have a better life for their family. We had what we needed and there was still room for things we wanted within reason.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started babysitting as a young teen, but my first paycheck job was cleaning tanning beds at a hair salon. This was for gas, clothes and fun money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes and no. My parents were stable and employed, but I always worried “what if”. I was in high school during the recession and housing market crash of 2008, so I was old enough to understand what was going on.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, constantly. I worry about how we’d take care of our responsibilities if one or both of us lose our jobs or if the economy takes a turn. I worry we don’t have enough of a safety net. I worry about retirement and if we’ll ever get there.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I got my first salaried job out of college at 23 and paid all my own bills except car insurance (I stayed on my parents’ until I was 28). I also stayed on my parents’ health insurance until I was 26, at my dad’s insistence. That was a huge help for me as I was starting my career. My parents would offer to help us financially if we needed it, but I would feel guilty because I want them to enjoy the retirement they worked so hard for.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gifted me $3,000 to help finish paying off my student loans when I was in the final stretch (I was also living with them during this time). They gifted me and J. $2,000 for our wedding and $3,000 for appliances when we bought our home. My father-in-law gifted us $1,000 for our home.

8 a.m. — Wake up, scroll on my phone for a few minutes, then get up. Make oatmeal with soy milk, cocoa powder, almond butter, chia seeds, and honey. Drink a cup of coffee with soy milk and a dash of cinnamon. Start a load of laundry and then begin making banana oatmeal muffin cups for my husband J. and stepkiddo R., who lives with us full time. I also prep a batch of protein banana baked oatmeal for myself.

10 a.m. — J. gets home from the gym and dropping R. off at day camp (we are on winter break so there’s no school). J. takes me to Trader Joe’s; I had sterilization surgery a week ago and can’t lift over 10lbs. I haven’t been to the store in over a week. Get almond milk, spinach, baby carrots, apples, bananas, lemons, shredded carrots, slivered almonds, onion, frozen veggie fried rice, frozen broccoli, dark chocolate peanut butter cups, grainless granola, refried beans, angel hair pasta, chai tea bags, chicken broth, and dish soap. J. rarely goes to TJ’s and he throws some smoked trout and crumpets in the cart. We each do our own grocery shopping at different stores, and things usually end up being even. $62.07

11 a.m. — After a quick change at home, J. puts the groceries up and I head to meet some friends at a coffee shop for our monthly book club. I get an herbal tea and a veggie taco. $11.05

2:30 p.m. — Catching up with everyone is so nice! One of my friends made us some delicious sweet and salty Chex mix — I eat a bit in the car. I grab a horchata vegan protein drink from Whole Foods — it’s almost $5 but I use a gift card I got for Christmas. Drink it in the car so I can take ibuprofen. Stop by Target for a pickup order: mouth wash, Dramamine, lactose pills, Gas-X, ibuprofen, a loofah, tissues, Greek yogurt, shave gel, hand soap refill and magnesium glycinate ($75.05). I swing by Aldi next to grab a cucumber, loaf of sandwich bread, low-sodium deli turkey, soy milk, two packages of tofu, and a bag of sea salt popcorn ($16.77). I definitely overdid it today and the bag is heavier than I anticipated. I’m hurting. $91.82

4 p.m. — Get home, put groceries and toiletries away and switch over R.’s laundry and start a new load. I warm up leftovers from last night — Trader Joe’s cheese tortellini with olive oil. It’s just okay. I do my baking dishes from the morning and collect the small trash bags in nearly every room of the house. I finally lie down with an ice pack and an audiobook.

5:30 p.m. — J. heads to pick up R. so I make their dinner and eat a few crackers. The tortellini made me feel kind of sick but now I’m hungry. This surgery has messed up my appetite. I finish my audiobook in bed but decide not to count it toward my yearly reading goal. I definitely think audiobooks count as reading but I didn’t fully pay attention to this one.

8 p.m. — J. makes a salad and a burrito for himself. I carefully snuggle with the dog and we watch the new Nate Bargatze stand-up special and an episode of The Sopranos. Eventually I eat a cinnamon raisin bagel, a spoonful of almond butter, and a glass of soy milk. At various points tonight I’ve also grazed on some gifted dark chocolate treats from the holidays.

10 p.m. — I want to keep the party going and watch an episode of Shrinking but J. is tired. He takes the dog out and I get in the shower. Take melatonin, Zyrtec and ibuprofen and get in bed.

8 a.m. — Wake up, lie in bed, scroll. I eventually get up and eat protein baked oatmeal with almond milk and almond butter. Drink coffee with soy milk and cinnamon. I take my vitamins then let the dog out and feed him.

9:15 a.m. — I turn on Little Women, which I’ve never seen. I watch the movie on and off and do a few things around the house. I would normally have therapy on Friday morning, but my therapist is on vacation.

12 p.m. — Finally finish my movie and make a bowl of Greek yogurt with frozen blueberries, honey, cinnamon, and granola. I decide to turn on Emma next.

1:30 p.m. — Make a soy chai latte and veggie fried rice for lunch. I add in extra shredded carrot and fresh spinach plus ham and Everything But The Bagel seasoning. J. gets home and we head to see A Complete Unknown — he buys our tickets and some popcorn. I eat M&Ms and Hot Tamales from home.

7:30 p.m. — We pick R. up after the movie. J. wants to use the new pizza stone we got for Christmas so he makes pizza from scratch. Eat a few pieces of homemade cheese pizza while we watch The Sopranos and Shrinking.

10:30 p.m. — Shower, get in bed, read, and meditate. Go to sleep around 11:15 p.m.

8 a.m. — Wake up, scroll, get up so I can start the coffee maker and eat my banana protein oatmeal. Add almond milk and almond butter. Drink coffee with soy milk and read in bed.

10:30 a.m. — Realize we are almost out of the alcohol wipes we use to clean our phones, so I place an order on Amazon. J. vacuums and I clean the mirrors and glass surfaces around the house. $9.55

12:30 p.m. — Meet some friends for brunch. J. and I split the bill since they let us borrow their car when we were visiting their city a few months ago. I get a roasted sweet potato sandwich and we share a giant pancake for the table. After brunch we all walk around an antique store. $55.71

3 p.m. — Back at home I switch out laundry and J. and I walk to dog. Snack on a few pieces of dark chocolate. I give the dog a bath then make hot tea and eat a few crackers. J. goes to pick up R. from my mother-in-law’s house. She lives close by and helps us out with childcare. I’m grateful R. gets to have a close relationship with her.

5:15 p.m. — I eat a Greek yogurt bowl and turn on Queer Eye.

7:30 p.m. — Make a burrito and we turn on Juror #2. I finally finish Emma from yesterday’s movie marathon. Log both on Letterboxd — reading the reviews is the best part. I take a shower and get ready for bed.

7:45 a.m. — Wake up, scroll, then get up and make the same oatmeal and coffee. Snuggle with J. for a few minutes when I realize he’s awake. Get back in bed and read for a few hours until I finish my book.

12 p.m. — Make the same bowl of Greek yogurt I eat almost every day, then take the dog on a walk. When I get home I make a soy chai latte and start on another book.

2 p.m. — Reheat the other half of my roasted sweet potato sandwich from brunch yesterday and eat a mini dark chocolate peanut butter cup plus a few dark chocolate covered almonds.

4 p.m. — I’ve been reading and listening to jazz most of the day in my office. J. wasn’t feeling well and has been lying down. When he gets up I go check on him in the kitchen and stupidly set my AirPods down on the couch, forgetting the dog is in there. He completely destroys the left one. I’m so upset. J. quickly orders a refurbished replacement for $30 online but I won’t let him pay for it since it’s my fault. He convinces me to let him pay for half. $15

7 p.m. — Attend a sound bath meditation using ClassPass credits. I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to yoga and even though I switched to a lower plan for this cycle, I don’t want my credits to go to waste. It was nice to try something new. After class I see that J. has messaged to ask if I can grab Greek yogurt and goat milk ice cream from Sprouts. I stop by Whole Foods hoping they have the ice cream and they don’t. I get yogurt and frozen blueberries ($18 paid for with the gift card). Swing by Sprouts to get the ice cream like he told me to in the first place. $7.28

8 p.m. — Make my same veggie rice with spinach and shredded carrot, but add tofu this time. Eat some dark chocolate after, like I do after almost every meal. We settle in for The Sopranos and Shrinking.

10 p.m. — Work on dishes while J. takes the dog out. I’m still hungry so I eat some chocolate animal crackers and a glass of soy milk. Shower and get ready for bed.

7:45 a.m. — Wake up, scroll, grab my oatmeal and coffee and get back in bed. I read for a few minutes before I need to log on for work. It’s my first day back after surgery and the holidays, and I’m not mentally ready. J. left before I woke up to take R. to day camp.

11 a.m. — Make a Greek yogurt bowl and take a break. I make a soy chai latte an hour later.

2 p.m. — I break for lunch and make tofu veggie fried rice, then take the dog on a walk.

5:15 p.m. — I snack on an apple and a bowl of popcorn while making dinner for R. J. does drop off and pick up every day except on the days I go into the office.

7:30 p.m. — My best friend usually comes over on Mondays so we can watch a movie, but we are both cranky today. I blame the weather. J. and I make frozen pizza and decide to start watching Slow Horses. Dinner is always followed by dark chocolate. We watch two episodes then get ready for bed.

8 a.m. — Wake up, scroll, oatmeal and coffee in bed before I log on for work. 

11 a.m. — Take a break to make an espresso with soy then put on a face mask and eye gels. That second coffee was a bad idea because it makes my stomach hurt.

12:30 p.m. — Greek yogurt bowl and a walk with the dog. I do a short meditation after. I have severe emetophobia and this usually helps.

3:30 p.m. — My stomach is finally feeling better. I eat a bagel and J. puts on an episode of Shrinking while I finish up work.

5 p.m. — It’s New Year’s Eve! I log off and start prepping black eyed peas and cornbread for dinner. I eat half an apple while I cook. R. requested to stay the night at grandma’s house, so J. drops them off.

6:45 p.m. — J. and I eat dinner. He brought a Diet Coke home for me but I want some of his Coke Zero that’s already open. We head over to a family friend’s house where they’re having a NYE party. I just want to say hi to my parents and the hosts. We are in and out in 15 minutes. It seems like everyone is sick right now and my contamination OCD makes it hard to enjoy large gatherings. I also stopped drinking earlier this year so there’s no numbing my anxiety with a glass of wine. 

8:30 p.m. — Back home and comfy on the couch in sweats. We finish season 2 of Shrinking and I sob. We switch over to the The Sopranos as a palate cleanser. Around 10:45 p.m., we tune in to watch Andy and Anderson and see the ball drop in New York. We pretend it’s midnight here, start the year with a six second kiss and get ready for bed.

7:30 a.m. — Wake up way earlier than I want to after a crappy night of sleep. Make my protein oatmeal and coffee and eat in bed.

10:20 a.m. — I desperately want to see Babygirl. J. isn’t interested, so after we determine we both aren’t hurting the other’s feelings, I head out for a solo matinee — my favorite single girl pastime. I bring a granola bar and reusable water bottle with me. $7.60

12:30 p.m. — After the movie I head into Ulta to pick up a red lipstick I’ve been wanting — it’s half off! $6.24

1 p.m. — Stop by Target on my way home for a bag of spinach and a pack of paper towels. $6.60

2 p.m. — Eat leftover black eyed peas for lunch. J. and I have a long talk about our finances. Since I track all my spending, I assess how 2024 went and decide it would make more sense for us to start utilizing a joint account. There are a lot of feelings tied to money and keeping my diary this week has made me think about how we can better plan for our future together.

6:30 p.m. — J. heads to a weekly dinner and meeting with his friends. My mom usually comes over on Wednesday nights so we can eat dinner and play Scrabble together, but with the hectic-ness of the holidays she isn’t up for it. Honestly, I’m not either. Recovering from surgery has put me in a funk. I make some veggie fried rice and watch Fly Me to the Moon. It turns out to be cuter than I expected.

9:30 p.m. — J. gets home and we watch an episode of Slow Horses. I jump in the shower, meditate and call it a night.