A Week In Boston On A $116,820 Salary

Occupation: Policy analyst
Industry: Government
Age: 31
Location: Boston
Joint income: $285,000. I wanted to share our joint income but prefer that the title of the diary references my income alone, as the weekly spending, expenses, and assets are most reflective of that amount, rather than jointly. My husband, A., and I haven’t combined finances; we split almost all our expenses equally (the only things we split jointly are rent and car payment). We moved in together a year ago and just got married this summer so I expect that combining finances will happen gradually as we take on larger expenses like buying a home.
Salary: $116,820
Assets: $9,064 in checking/savings accounts; $36,691 in a mutual fund; $174,079 in a thrift savings plan — the government equivalent of a 401(k).
Debt: $14,152 (my half of the car loan that I share with A.).
Paycheck amount (biweekly): $2,444
Pronouns: She/her

Housing costs: $2,000 for my half of a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment with A.
Loan payments: $240 (car payment).
Car insurance: $91
Car wash club membership: $10
Internet: $40
Utilities: $100 (approximately).
Renter’s insurance: $13
Cell phone: $17
House cleaner: $50 (for a visit once a month).
Strava Premium: $3 (still paying the student rate).
Spotify Premium: $6 (still paying the student rate).
The Economist: $4 (digital version; still paying the student rate).
Engagement ring insurance: $4
Netflix: $0 (A. pays for this).
Savings: $1,300, split between my cash accounts and brokerage. $375 of this is earmarked to create a travel fund.

Annual Expenses

Credit card fees: $99 for Capital One and $95 for Amex.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, my siblings and I all did well in school so college was always seen as a natural next step. Each of us was expected to pay for one year of tuition and my parents would pay for the other three years, which was a good way to teach us to be cost-conscious, while also giving us a lot of financial support. I paid off my student loans approximately four years after graduating. I also just recently received my master’s degree, which was paid for with a combination of savings, employer support, and scholarships.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents were always very proud of the life they’d created for our family with very little money. They started a business shortly after I was born that took much longer than they’d anticipated to break even, let alone make money, so while their own upbringings were mostly middle class, our family lived on very little. My parents were big on teaching us to appreciate free or low-cost fun such as hiking or camping, which is something that I carry with me to this day. They also were very open about having conversations such as what it meant to “keep up with the Joneses,” which has helped me maintain a grounded perspective about money as I’ve grown up.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first “unofficial” job was doing gardening and landscaping for family friends freshman year of high school. I loved gardening and getting my hands dirty so getting paid for it felt like a bonus. Naturally, this led to my first “official” job during my junior year of high school, which was at a retail garden center. It was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had — if I ever reach a place in life where I feel burned out and need a break from work, I’d probably try to find something like that again.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No — we always had what we needed. My parents have told my siblings and I a lot more in recent years about how rocky their financial situation was during our childhood, but they worked hard to make sure we never felt their stress.

Do you worry about money now?
No, but it has taken a lot of work to get here. I live in a high cost of living city and have had to meticulously track my budget ever since I moved here almost 10 years ago. In the beginning it was mostly due to having a low starting salary as an entry-level worker; as I started to make more money, I took the leap to live in my own studio apartment, which came with a new set of expenses. More recently, I’ve had to track carefully as I’ve saved and paid for grad school and my wedding. Despite life’s evolutions, I’ve continued to live very frugally — I don’t order takeout, I buy all my clothes secondhand, I lived car-free for many years, etc. I used to worry that there would come a time when I’d be sick of having to be so money-conscious and ultimately want more. It’s taken several years of perspective to realize that since I’m never going to be a billionaire, there will always be some sort of choice or tradeoff to make regarding how you want to use money to maximize your happiness at any given point in your life. It’s also given me perspective that the choices I make about money are largely about comfort and lifestyle rather than survival. Because of my privileged upbringing, the safety net that my family continues to offer me via their proximity, and my own financial situation, I’m unlikely to find myself in a situation where I can’t meet my basic needs of food, shelter, and safety. That perspective has allowed me to quell any worry that I once had about money and stay grounded in terms of how little any money stress I may feel really matters.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself after graduating from undergrad at 22; while I lived at my parents’ house for a few months rent-free, I ultimately chose to move out and from then on paid all my bills myself. I live within an hour’s drive of my parents (as well as many other relatives) so in many ways their proximity serves as my financial safety net as I could always live at their house rent-free if I needed to.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
As mentioned above, my parents paid for three of the four years of my undergrad education. They also bought me my first car, which I used to commute to summer internships and my first few years of work after college.

6:15 a.m. — I wake up after a sound night’s sleep thanks to a long trail run yesterday. I decide to save my exercise for the afternoon to give my body a break and get up to make coffee and fold some laundry. Since I can get an early start on the workday, I decide to head into the office to knock out one of my two required in-office days per week. I pack my lunch and start getting ready.

7:50 a.m. — Hop on my bike and head to the office. This is the first day of fall where it’s cold enough to need mittens so I know winter is right around the corner. I reach the office by 8 a.m., grateful to have such a short, straightforward commute. I definitely pay a premium to live close to my work but it’s worth it with how bad traffic in the Boston area is these days.

8:10 a.m. — So much for my productive start to the week — the file network at our office is down! I spend a few minutes trying to troubleshoot and seeing what I can accomplish without the use of our network, but it’s not looking good. I’m feeling frustrated because I know I have a lot to do today and I consider going back home, but instead spend a few minutes chatting with a coworker and decide to wait things out.

8:45 a.m. — I video chat for 15 minutes with my husband, A., who is in India right now. He just left on Friday and will be there for the next seven weeks, visiting and spending the holidays with his family. I’ll join him for the last two weeks, since I’m not permitted to work remotely overseas as a government employee. It’s a long time to be away from each other, especially as newlyweds (we just got married in August), but I’m grateful that we have such a strong relationship that allows us to make this unique family situation work. Wrap up our video chat and eat the breakfast I brought from home as I start my first call of the day.

11:30 a.m. — Network is back up, hallelujah! Heat up my lunch from home and eat it while continuing with the workday.

2:15 p.m. — Busy day. I recently got put on a new program that is very demanding and has a lot of time-sensitive requests. I love saying yes to challenging things at work because it helps me feel like I’m always growing and learning but there are times that it comes with stress, and this is one of those days.

4:30 p.m. — Wrap up and bike back home, savoring one of the last few days of the year where it’ll still be light out at this hour. I signed up for a workout class at 6 p.m. so I kill some time by making rice and chopping up sweet potatoes for tomorrow’s breakfast until it’s time for me to leave.

5:45 p.m. — Walk over to my workout class, which is group strength training. I loathe strength training but I like the way my body feels when I do it regularly and so I’ve found that doing classes in a group setting helps hold me accountable. This gym is definitely for serious lifters but they’ve created a great community of members and instructors that always make the classes feel approachable, even for newbies like me. I am surprised how much fun I have and make a mental note to look into the cost to join this gym. This class is covered by a class pack I previously purchased (12 classes for $250).

7:15 p.m. — Heat up some leftover palak paneer and rice I made this weekend and relax with an episode of Panchayat on Amazon Prime, which is a funny show about life in village India that my in-laws got me hooked on. Chat for a few minutes with A., who is surprisingly awake (he must be jet-lagged). Lights out by 9:15 p.m.

5:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I lay in bed scrolling for a few minutes as I wake up. I start reading a few news articles but then get too stressed about next week’s election, so instead I look into the price of joining the gym from last night. I see that it’s $170 a month for unlimited classes. This feels like a lot but it’s the exact same price as a similar gym that I enquired with last week, so it might just be the market rate for this type of workout. Now that I’m done paying for grad school and our wedding, I finally have an opportunity to put a big dent in my savings goals and I’m really hesitant to dip into my disposable income too much. I guess I’ll have to learn some lifting moves that I can do on my own.

6:15 a.m. — Make coffee and do some light cleaning around the house to wake myself up before I head out for a run. It’s so dark out and I’d rather stay in and sip coffee all morning but I know I’ll regret it if I skip exercising today. I’ve learned over the years that exercise benefits are as much mental as they are physical for me — this has helped hold me accountable to an everyday routine. I put on one of A.’s cozy, oversized sweatshirts to help get me out the door on this cold, dark morning.

8 a.m. — Five miles through Charlestown with a gorgeous sunrise! The run puts me in a positive, energized mood to start the day. Hop in the shower, get ready for work, and give A. a quick call before I log onto my laptop.

12 p.m. — This morning has been busy with calls but I should have time this afternoon to really focus on some work tasks. A lot of my work involves reviews of technical documents so having large blocks of uninterrupted focus time is really helpful, and working from home usually helps as I can limit distractions. I break for lunch and whip up a quick tomato risotto topped with red beans, which I prepped last week, and some basil I’m growing on my porch.

2:55 p.m. — I need to stretch so I walk downstairs and check the mail. Packages for A. keep arriving even though he is not here, which makes me laugh — what could he possibly be ordering?! He tends to be more of a spender, whereas I get a lot more satisfaction from saving money and watching it accumulate. Early on in our relationship I was apprehensive about our different spending habits, but with lots of conversations over time we’ve been able to create trust and comfort around each other’s attitude towards money and have even had some good habits rub off on each other.

4:45 p.m. — Wrap up work and quickly head out to catch the train downtown, swiping my pre-loaded transit card. I’m part of a networking group for women in my industry and we’re hosting a mixer-style event tonight. I pay $15 for admission, which includes a complimentary drink ticket. I use the ticket to order a non-alcoholic beer at the bar and am so glad that the NA trend has taken off so much in recent years. I frequently go to these types of events and usually order a drink just because I don’t know what else to do with my hands, even though I don’t feel like having alcohol. I’m surprised how much I enjoy myself at the mixer and meet a lot of welcoming and curious people — in particular, several recent grads whose enthusiasm and optimism makes me feel inspired and hopeful for the future. Head out around 8 p.m. and catch the train back home. $15

8:30 p.m. — Watch an episode of Panchayat and heat up leftovers for a late dinner. I head to bed around 9:30 p.m. but have a hard time falling asleep with all the conversations from today still processing in my head.

5:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I’m up. I make some coffee and get ready for my morning workout, which will involve running stairs at Harvard Stadium. I do this a few times a month and I like that it helps strengthen my legs without needing gym equipment. Out the door by 6:20 a.m. because this workout usually takes a while.

6:30 a.m. — Boston is such an athlete’s city; it’s still pitch-black out and there are runners everywhere, rowers on the Charles, and when I get to the stadium, probably a hundred other people running stairs — and a DJ?! Wow! Apparently there is a club that meets weekly on Wednesday mornings to do this workout (and brings their own music!), I’ve just never crossed paths with them. I finish all 37 sections of the stadium with tired legs and an energized soul — these are definitely my kind of people!

8 a.m. — Back home and rush getting ready for work. Pack a lunch of leftover risotto and salad and hop on my bike. I’m sitting at my desk by 9 a.m.

11:45 a.m. — Break for lunch before my afternoon calls start. This morning has allowed me the focus time I needed to digest over a hundred interagency comments we’ve received on a draft document. I work on proposing responses and generally understanding comment themes so I can summarize them to our project lead when we all meet tomorrow.

4:45 p.m. — After my calls wrap up, I pack up and head home on my bike. I have just over an hour to kill before my evening Hindi lesson so I cut up some vegetables and make a tofu stir-fry that I can eat after class, which also helps give my brain a break before switching from work mode into language-learning mode. I’ve been studying Hindi with the help of a tutor for about two years now (A.’s parents speak very little English). Language learning is such a gradual and emotional process, but I’ve realized that it’s something I need to do in order to cultivate a meaningful relationship with my in-laws, so it always feels worth it. I do some warmup exercises then log into Zoom to start our lesson.

7:30 p.m. — We conclude our lesson, which mostly consisted of conversational practice ($35 for my portion of a group lesson). I know I benefit from this type of practice but it feels like I’m making very little progress on my grammar knowledge. I sit down with a bowl of stir-fry and research options for private lessons that I can use to supplement my practice with this group. I’m always amazed how few Hindi-learning resources exist online — it’s the third most widely spoken language in the world! I find a native Hindi-speaking tutor in Australia who could work with my time zone so I arrange for a free introductory lesson next week. Freshen up and head to bed by 9:30 p.m. $35

5:30 a.m. — Wake up and lay in bed for a few minutes, gradually talking myself out of exercising this morning. My body is tired from workouts and an intense week of work and extracurriculars. I also know I have a somewhat stressful day of work ahead so I decide to stay in and get an early start on the day. Make coffee, freshen up, and log on for a few quiet hours of focused productivity.

8:45 a.m. — Today is Diwali and A. is home celebrating with his family. I think it’s a combination of missing him, celebration FOMO, and skipping exercise leading to a lack of endorphins that’s all making me feel really emotional. A. said he would call sometime around now and I can’t wait to talk to him. I know he is in the moment enjoying the celebrations so I wait for him to call when he’s free.

9:35 a.m. — While waiting for A. to call I decide I need to try and bust out of this loneliness I’m feeling. It’s unusually warm out today and the morning sun is shining on my block so I decide to take a short walk to a bakery to get a sweet treat. When I’m feeling down, sunshine and sugar usually do the trick to boost my mood. $6.45

10:05 a.m. — A. calls and we video chat for a little bit. He shows me all the Diwali decorations throughout the house — his mom must have been working for days, it looks stunning. I tear up seeing his whole family together and how joyful they are; it’s both a raw happiness for their family that gets to spend so little time together each year, and a magnified feeling of loneliness that I feel being home all alone without them. We all video chat for a few minutes then I let them get back to their Diwali celebrations and light a few candles at home to try to put myself in the festive spirit. With each passing year a bigger part of my heart resides in India, but the government doesn’t allow me to work remotely abroad like A. can in the private sector, so my time there is severely limited. It makes me feel so torn because I have finally found a job that gives me so much purpose and satisfaction, but it feels like it might not be compatible with my family life, long term.

3 p.m. — I’m super fried from this week and today’s emotions. I’m taking the day off tomorrow so I put up my out-of-office message and decide to call it a week. My mom and I are planning to spend the day tomorrow hiking so I pack a suitcase and hit the road to my parents’ house in New Hampshire. Traffic is pretty brutal from all the working parents trying to commute home in time for trick-or-treating so it takes me almost two hours.

7:10 p.m. — I love being home with my parents. Since becoming empty nesters, it’s the highlight of their week when one of their kids comes home, and I love seeing them like that. My mom cooks fish for dinner (my request) and the three of us catch up. We put on the new Netflix Martha Stewart documentary to wind down the night and my dad immediately falls asleep. Mom and I pause it halfway and head to bed around 9 p.m.

5:45 a.m. — So much for sleeping in — I think my body clock just operates on an early schedule. I sip coffee with Mom and we make a plan for our hike today. It’s pretty rainy out and we consider calling off the day but since the forecast calls for it to clear up by mid-morning, we decide to pack our rain gear and try our luck.

10:20 a.m. — Mom drives us to the trailhead and I pay $5 via the self-pay system for us to park. It’s still pouring so we put on our rain gear and get started but after a few minutes the sun comes out and we don’t need it anymore. I can tell it’s going to be a great day! This hike is really unique as far as those I’ve done in New Hampshire go — it’s along a ridgeline so there’s very little elevation change but views of mountains and valleys the whole way. We walk for 10 miles and chat most of the way, stopping for pictures, to eat our bagged lunches, and to fill up our water bottles at a backcountry hut. I’m so grateful for this quality time we’re able to spend together and that my mom continues to be so healthy and active into her 60s. $5

5:25 p.m. — We arrive back at Mom and Dad’s house, and my sister (T.), her husband, and their son who live in the next town over have joined us for dinner. Mom and Dad order pizza and salad and the six of us spend time catching up. My sister seems like she’s coming down with a cold (must be those daycare germs), so they make it an early night and head home. My mom offers to watch their son for the night so T. can get a good night’s sleep and they take us up on it. Mom and I finish up the rest of the Martha Stewart documentary before heading to bed.

6:35 a.m. — Wake up, have some coffee with Mom and Dad, and give a bottle to my nephew. He’s almost 7 months old and I savor every minute I get to spend with him because he grows and changes every day. The three of us trade off keeping him occupied for the morning. I start getting ready for my morning run around 7:45 a.m. and head out the door.

9:30 a.m. — Back from a five-mile run. My parents live in a woodsy town and running is one of my favorite parts about spending time here — I love the scenic, rolling hills and long, uninterrupted stretches of road. It’s such a contrast to my usual running routes in the city. I get freshened up for the day and my mom and I head out the door to a coastal town where one of my cousins is hosting her baby shower. I call A. on the way and we have a nice long catchup, which makes my heart happy.

11:45 a.m. — Reach the baby shower and have a nice time catching up with my cousins and a few people I’ve met through the years at parties and weddings. The food they serve for lunch is really delicious, and I probably have one too many homemade desserts. As things start wrapping up, I head out and drive back to Boston for my second social event of the day, a friend’s 30th birthday. Before I hit the road, I search for some prepaid parking in a notoriously challenging part of the city to drive to. I track my day-to-day spending using the Goodbudget app and see that I don’t have much wiggle room in how much I can spend on parking today given what I expect to pay for the birthday party, so I select a lot that’s a 15-minute walk from my destination for $6. It isn’t too cold today so I think I can manage it. $6

3:20 p.m. — I reach Boston and walk over to the party, which is at an arcade bar. Lots of my friends are here so we have a nice time catching up over apps and taking turns on the racecar driving simulators, but I can feel my social battery running low after this much mingling in one day. My friend collects $60 payment from everyone, which covers unlimited racing and apps — I decide against ordering any drinks given how tired I’m feeling. Drive home after a few hours and have never been happier to get in my sweatpants. I turn on the Love is Blind season 7 reunion before bed. $60

4:41 a.m. — Daylight savings ended last night and my body has not yet adjusted. I really needed more sleep than this but I guess I’ll make the most of the extra hour. Lay in bed for a while.

5:35 a.m. — Make coffee and check in with A. since it’s his afternoon. We try to chat on the phone but the network connection keeps giving out, which leaves me feeling frustrated; it can be hard to have meaningful conversations at a distance and this certainly isn’t helping.

6:30 a.m. — Call my mom and do a screenshare with her to help her apply for an e-visa to visit India at the end of this month. My family and a few friends are coming with me as we’ll be having our Indian wedding when I go there to meet A. in a few weeks — I can’t wait!

8:40 a.m. — Make some poha for breakfast, which is flattened rice cereal cooked with veggies and spices. My mother-in-law makes this all the time and it’s one of my favorites. I find a simple recipe online and it comes out pretty good! She’ll be proud when I tell her about this.

10:35 a.m. — I head out the door to a meetup group for Hindi/Urdu speakers hosted by my tutor. I initially plan to catch the bus but it looks like it’s behind schedule so I grab a bike share and head to the restaurant. My tutor hosts these events roughly quarterly, and this will be the first one I’m attending. By far the hardest part of learning a foreign language for me has been overcoming the fear of messing up, and it’s taken two years to get to the point of having the courage to try one of these events. No matter what happens, I’m proud of all the work it’s taken to get to this step. $3.13

12:51 p.m. — Wow, I did it! The group was so welcoming and we had a lot of fun and laughs getting to know each other. It was a mix of learners and native speakers of all ages and backgrounds. Most people spoke Urdu, which on a conversational basis is very similar to Hindi but not exactly the same. I had some trouble following the conversation when unfamiliar words were used, but it didn’t make me feel discouraged at all and that feels like an accomplishment in itself. I pay for the Indian lunch buffet and walk back home, dropping off a library book on the way. $17

2:10 p.m. — Back home. This weekend has been both fulfilling and exhausting. I spend the rest of the afternoon curled up on the couch with Netflix.

4:45 p.m. — Get an early dinner started so I can get plenty of sleep tonight. I prepare an easy sheet pan meal of roasted squash, tomatoes, chickpeas, and feta with a hot honey glaze.

8:20 p.m. — Eventually I’ll acclimate to the daylight savings time change, but not today. Lights out.