A Week In Detroit Suburbs On A $350,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Program analyst
Industry: Government
Age: 36
Location: Detroit suburbs
Salary: $150,000
Joint income: ~$350,000/year. My husband’s salary is $150,000 base plus commission, which is usually around $50,000 per year (but can be more or less). We split our finances evenly, and I manage our finances and household budget.
Assets: Checking: $10,000; HYSA: $35,000 (until two months ago this was $350,000, but we just purchased our first home and most of our savings went toward the down payment and closing costs); retirement investments (a blend of Roth IRAs, 401(k)s, and brokerage accounts): $700,000; HSAs: $28,000; 529: $5,000 (although I don’t consider this to be our money but rather our daughter’s).
Debt: $900,000 left on mortgage. No other debt.
Paycheck amount (me: 2x/month; my husband: monthly): $3,600 for me. My husband, J., is paid monthly (anywhere from $7,000 to $12,000, depending on commission).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $6,500 mortgage payment (includes property taxes and insurance which goes in an escrow account).
Loan payments: $0
Childcare: $1,400
Gas and electric: $150
Phone: $110
Water: $150
Internet: $50 (my husband’s work pays for more than half).
Subscriptions: $40 (Netflix and Spotify — we pay for my parents’ Netflix account, too).
Car insurance: $110
529 contributions: $50
HYSA: $2,000

Annual Expenses

Amazon Prime: $150

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, and my parents expected that I would at minimum get a bachelor’s degree. We immigrated to the States from central/eastern Europe when I was 4. My mom has a B.S. and Master’s degree from our home country while my dad went to trade school. I paid for college largely through student loans but also work-study and some other grants and scholarships. In addition to my work-study, I babysat throughout college. My parents paid my living expenses my freshman and sophomore years of college and helped where they could. Between the six years of undergrad and grad school (I went to the same state school for both), I graduated with $65,000 in student loans, which I paid off within five years of graduating (i.e. back in 2017). I worked very hard to live frugally for those five years and get rid of my debt as quickly as possible.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Not too many. My parents didn’t grow up here so they weren’t familiar with investing beyond contributing to a 401(k), but they did always stress living within your means and not getting into debt. My mom taught me how to balance a checkbook. My parents also signed me up for my first credit card at 18 so that I could build credit. I used that card primarily for food while away at college, and my parents paid the bill.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first official job was at a concession stand at a local movie theater. Unofficially, I babysat family friends’ kids and also cleaned houses with a family friend. I worked to have spending money and to be able to start saving for college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not really. We grew up comfortably middle class, and all of my peers were in the same boat. None of the kids in my high school drove new cars or had fancy designer clothes. There was always money for the essentials like food, clothes, and then extracurriculars. It wasn’t until I went away to college and saw all the others kids in their North Faces and Uggs whose parents were paying their tuition that I realized how much less we had compared to them.

Do you worry about money now?
A little bit. As a government employee and a remote one at that, I’m of course worried about what could happen to my job over the next year. I also worry because we just bought a new house two months ago and with the current interest rates, our monthly payments are higher than I like. On top of that, I’m pregnant and so I worry about affording a second child if my husband or I were to lose our jobs.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I would say at the age of 20. That’s when I was working enough to take over my rent and phone bill during college. My husband and I are each other’s safety net. Both of our families would help us out if needed, at minimum, by providing us with a place to stay.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents helped out with my living expenses during college, which probably equated to $20,000. They also gifted us $10,000 for our wedding. My husband’s family gifted us $5,000 for our wedding.

4:40 a.m. — My toddler, C., is up for the day so I guess I am, too. She’s always been an early riser but this is early even for her. I quickly brush my teeth, splash water on my face, and then throw on a pair of lululemon leggings, a sports bra, and sweatshirt and take her downstairs. I make myself a coffee and fill up C.’s Minnie Mouse cup with milk, and we watch two episodes of Bluey while she drinks her milk.

7 a.m. — After a couple episodes of Bluey, C. and I play with her magnetic tiles, blocks, playdough, we draw, we play tag, and somehow it’s only 7 a.m. Sigh. I eat a protein bar, and we share a Dave’s Killer Bagel (cinnamon raisin) with butter for breakfast. Then we head out to the playground, stopping at Starbucks along the way. I get an oat milk shaken espresso drink, and C. gets a birthday cake cake pop. It’s cold and still kind of dark but should be getting light in the next few minutes. I love this playground because it’s in the middle of the neighborhood in close proximity to other houses, so it doesn’t feel unsafe even if it’s dark out. There’s also usually people walking their dogs at this point in the morning. My kid is obsessed with the swings and that’s where she spends the entire morning. We head home around 8 a.m. because it’s cold. $8.55

8:15 a.m. — Get home, bring in and unpack a Target package, and wake up my husband, J., who plays with C. while I go for a quick four-mile run. He feeds her a snack of apple slices and Cheerios. I hop in the shower, then apply Sunday Riley Auto Correct, Tatcha face cream, Benefit eyebrow gel, and Ilia mascara. I throw in a load of laundry and go hang out with C. and J.

10:30 a.m. — I put C. down for her nap and head out to my nail appointment. I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding next weekend so I get the dip/powder and regular polish pedicure. I love the result but am super annoyed with the salon. I haven’t been here in over a year but during both my manicure and pedicure, the techs try to upsell me on extra services like chrome on my dip ($15), shellac on my toes ($10), and an upgraded pedicure ($20) and then act annoyed when I decline them. My total comes out to $115 with tip. $115

12:30 p.m. — I get home and am greeted by J. and C., who it seems only took an hour-long nap and lost her mind when she woke up and realized I wasn’t home. Guess she’s not interested in sleeping today. J. and I chat at the kitchen counter while giving C. her lunch/snack, which she largely refuses to eat. I snack on some peanut butter and pretzels. We head out for a family walk to the playground. It has been unseasonably warm in Michigan so we take advantage of the gorgeous weather and stay at the playground for an hour and a half.

4 p.m. — Get home and eat an early dinner. C. finally gives in to her hunger and demolishes some Amy’s macaroni and cheese and shredded chicken. I finish the other half of my sandwich from yesterday and J. makes chicken tacos with the shredded chicken I prepped yesterday. We spend the rest of the afternoon at home, playing with C. and watching TV.

7 p.m. — Take C. upstairs and give her a bath, followed by milk and then stories. I always do C.’s bedtime since like many toddlers, she refuses to let her father put her to sleep. We’ll need to break this habit eventually but for now, I meet her demands and do bedtime every night.

9 p.m. — Go to sleep. I’m newly pregnant (~7 weeks) and just as with my first pregnancy, the late-afternoon/evening nausea is strong, and the best treatment is to just go to sleep and avoid the gross feeling.

3:10 a.m. — C. is up and standing by our bedroom door asking for milk. While I don’t like giving her milk in the middle of the night at this age, I also know that she won’t go back to sleep without it so I head downstairs and pour her 3oz. She drinks her milk and is asleep by 3:30 a.m. I go back to sleep, too.

5:10 a.m. — I’m up. Brush my teeth, splash water on my face, throw on a pair of lululemon leggings, a sports bra, and sweatshirt. I make a cup of coffee and then head downstairs for an upper body workout. I normally try to get up before C. so that I can at least brush my teeth and get dressed, and ideally work out before C. is up, but that’s not always possible with her early morning wake-ups.

5:40 a.m. — C. is up 10 minutes into my workout so I head upstairs to grab her. We do our usual morning routine — coffee for me and milk plus a couple of episodes of Bluey for C. I turn off the TV and we play all morning. We skip the park today since it’s only 30 degrees outside. I make C. a breakfast of Cheerios and half a banana plus she eats a few bites of bagel. I eat the other half of her banana plus a protein bar and half a bagel with PB.

8 a.m. — I call the pediatrician’s office to see if they can squeeze us in for a second dose of the flu vaccine for C. I got my first and only dose last month when I took C. for her 30-month checkup. Because she’s under 7 and this is her first time getting the flu shot, she has to get two doses. Luckily they have an opening at 9:20 a.m., so I go wake up J. to watch C. while I squeeze in a quick workout and shower before the appointment. C. ends up hijacking my workout and runs around the gym while I lift and tries to copy my movements. She’s so cute I can’t be annoyed. I shower and throw on a clean pair of leggings, white T-shirt and sweatshirt. Same basic makeup of Benefit brow gel and Ilia mascara and then we head out to C.’s appointment.

10 a.m. — After the appointment, C. and I head to Target for the cake pop I promised her for her bravery at the doctor’s office. I get the bacon gruyère bites. We also pick up a few items on my list like batteries, a new straw for my Stanley, One protein bars, popchips, cheese, and sandwich bags ($49.23). $58.13

10:30 a.m. — We get home and unpack the groceries. I take C. upstairs for her nap and then throw in another load of laundry (bedding this time) and clean the bathroom sinks and mirrors upstairs. I also call Pottery Barn for the 50th time to ask about missing rewards that we never received. While I’m doing this, J. is washing our windows, which have C.’s little handprints all over them, and then he goes to work out.

1 p.m. — I take C. outside to play for a bit while J. eats lunch. Then I pack up the stroller, and we take a family walk downtown. There is a cute little park where C. plays for a while and then we go to the library where she plays some more. I grab three books for C. and Lessons in Chemistry for myself.

3:30 p.m. — We start walking back home and pop into CVS on the way because I forgot to buy milk at Target. I’ve also been pestering J. to get his flu vaccine, and they have availability so he’s able to get his shot today, too. $7.15

4:30 p.m. — Eat an early dinner. I eat the leftover shredded chicken with Laughing Cow pepper jack cheese wrapped in two almond flour tortillas, and some Unexpected Cheddar with a couple crackers. J. has leftover lasagne plus we all have a side of TJ’s sweet potato gnocchi. We play and read books with C. I also fill out some forms online for my OB appointment on Wednesday.

7 p.m. — Take C. upstairs for bath and bedtime. Once she’s asleep, I catch up on the FBI dramas from earlier in the week. Lights out at 9 p.m.

4 a.m. — I wake up before my alarm and get up so that I can get my workout done before C. is up. Brush my teeth, change into workout shorts, a sports bra, and tank, drink half a cup of coffee, and head to our basement gym.

4:45 a.m. — Thirty-minute workout down. Hop in the shower while I listen to the NYT’s The Run-Up podcast and then throw on a pair of Abercrombie jeans and black Abercrombie T-shirt. I apply the Sunday Riley Auto Correct under my eyes and Tatcha moisturizer, followed by Benefit brow gel, and Ilia mascara. Because I have a few on-camera calls today, I also apply Charlotte Tilbury Beautiful Skin foundation, bronzer and highlighter and quickly throw some curls into my hair. I head downstairs to make up a cup of coffee, grab a protein bar, and finish listening to my podcast while I clean up the kitchen.

5:45 a.m. — C. is up. This is closer to her usual wake-up time. I run upstairs to grab her, and we do the usual routine of milk and Bluey.

7:30 a.m. — I get breakfast ready for C. and then I log onto work from the kitchen counter and respond to a few emails that have already come in this morning. C. eats half a bagel with butter and jelly plus grapes. I eat the other half of her bagel with Laughing Cow cheese plus some grapes.

9 a.m. — My mom comes over to watch C. We pay my mom to watch C. and normally C. goes to my parents’ house, but they’re just getting over COVID-19 and since my dad got it later than my mom and is still in recovery, my mom comes over to our place. I head into my office to continue working.

12 p.m. — Eat lunch with C. and my mom. I have some cheese, a few bites of C.’s mac and cheese, and two potato pancakes. I return to work and then log off at 4:15 p.m. Send my mom home and play with C.

5:15 p.m. — J. and I make a TJ’s veggie stir fry and chicken for dinner. C. refuses to eat but she had a late snack so I figure we’ll feed her later. The three of us head outside to rake leaves (or in C.’s case, jump in them), kick around the soccer ball, and enjoy the cool fall weather.

6:15 p.m. — Head back inside and feed C. the remainder of her macaroni and cheese from lunch, some broccoli, and a packet of vanilla almond butter. Random but balanced, I suppose. I see Pottery Barn customer service responded and $80 worth of rewards have been added to my account. Success! I have been pestering them and Capital One for over a month now so I’m glad there is finally a resolution. I’ve been obsessing over these points because J. and I picked out kitchen counter stools from Pottery Barn, so I’ve been using their store credit card for all my purchases over the last month to accumulate rewards points to apply to the purchase. The points are supposed to hit my account next week so I’ll order the counter stools then.

7 p.m. — Take C. upstairs for bath and bedtime. Once she’s asleep, I sneak out of her room to shower. I lay in bed to catch up on some shows while J. watches football and baseball in the family room. Another no-spend day, which is not typical for me. I blame the first trimester exhaustion and nausea, which have squashed all my desire to shop.

4 a.m. — My body naturally wakes up so I get up, get dressed, and head downstairs. Chug some water and stretch for 20 minutes.

5 a.m. — C. is up. Milk, Bluey, and then we do blocks and read books for the rest of the morning. I throw in her laundry because she has three shirts she insists on wearing on repeat, and I would rather avoid a power struggle related to clothing this morning.

7 a.m. — I drop C. off at my mom’s house and then log on for work.

9 a.m. — Eat a breakfast of three hard-boiled eggs plus toast with butter while working. My first meeting isn’t until 11 a.m. today so I prioritize reviewing a document that’s due by EOD and respond to a few emails. Meanwhile, J. heads out to get a haircut for the wedding this weekend. $28

10 a.m. — Spend 30 minutes redoing my Concur reservations for an upcoming work trip. This is the most frustrating system when it comes to government travel and all of its restrictions but hopefully this is the last modification I have to make.

12 p.m. — Down a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter while I finish revisions to the document. I also eat a fun-size bag of Skittles.

2 p.m. — I feel progressively more nauseous throughout the afternoon and run to the bathroom to dry heave for 15 minutes. I guess this pregnancy will be the same as my first. I don’t actually get sick, and I start to feel less queasy so I take a quick break to clean the downstairs bathroom. I Windex the mirror, wipe down the sink, clean the toilet, and then wipe down the floor. Wash my hands and head back to work.

4 p.m. — I throw dinner on the stove while J. heads out to pick up C. I slice and roast some delicata squash with butter, fry up cauliflower rice stir-fry, and cook ground beef for tacos. While that’s all cooking, I continue working. Thankfully this is a slower week for me at work, in contrast to last week during which I was coordinating the drafting and review of a document that required several late nights after C. went to bed, plus early mornings. Now that the document is off for publication, I’m hoping for a quiet week. My job tends to veer between periods of absolute insanity and then more quiet weeks.

5:30 p.m. — We eat dinner and then play with C.

7 p.m. — I do the usual routine of C.’s bath and bedtime.

9 p.m. — Lights out for me. J. is a night owl so he stays up until midnight watching TV.

4:15 a.m. — I’m up and head downstairs for an early morning upper body workout.

5:10 a.m. — I hear some weird noises upstairs. I check the Nanit and see C. is no longer in her bed. I head upstairs to find her rummaging through the drawers in her bathroom. Toddlers are so strange. I take off her sleep sack and we head downstairs for milk and Ms. Rachel on YouTube.

7 a.m. — Drop C. off at my mom’s house. I get home and head off before work for a quick two and a quarter-mile run.

8 a.m. — Shower and then log on for work. I have back-to-back meetings all morning. I eat a bagel with peanut butter before heading out for my OB appointment.

12:30 p.m. — Stop for gas along the way to my OB appointment. $40.01

2 p.m. — Ultrasound confirms everything looks great. Baby is six weeks and four days. I then meet with the doctor to discuss next appointments and any questions I have. $25 (copay).

2:30 p.m. — Leave doctor’s appointment and head to my mom’s house to pick up C. Traffic is a nightmare and I’m starving. I’m also enraged because despite there being a giant arrow indicating the lane is closed up ahead and thus you should merge left, people are inconsiderate and decide to ride the lane all the way to the end and then forcefully merge left, creating a massive traffic jam. What is normally a 10-minute drive takes 30.

3 p.m. — Get to my mom’s and greet C. I run inside to pee and grab a slice of bread with a slice of cheese. This hopefully will tide me over until I get home for dinner. Call J. from the car and tell him I’m craving Sweetgreen for dinner so he orders that. Dang, these salads are more expensive than I remembered. $40.20

3:30 p.m. — C. and I stop at Target to pick up a few groceries. She also gets a cake pop. $90.33

4 p.m. — Get home and unpack. J. and I play with C. while we wait for our salads. Sweetgreen arrives and I’m about to chew my arm off. The salad and bread are delicious and I’m happy. I get C. a random assortment of hummus, chicken, avocado, and a snack pack with colby-jack cheese, fruit chews, and graham crackers. She barely eats her dinner as usual.

5 p.m. — The three of us head outside to do yard work. C. and I rake the leaves (C. mainly jumps into the leaf piles I rake) while J. mows the lawn.

7 p.m. — Bath for C., milk, and cartoons in bed.

3:50 a.m. — I wake up to C. standing next to my bed asking for milk. Of course she’s hungry. She didn’t eat dinner last night.

4:15 a.m. — I get her back down and I go back to sleep, too.

5:20 a.m. — I’m up. I brush my teeth, throw on lululemon shorts, a sports bra and tank, and head downstairs. I drink a cup of coffee while searching Target’s website for dining room table chairs. I also eat a protein bar. We just bought a new table from Crate & Barrel so I’m looking for chairs to match.

7:40 a.m. — I drop off C. at my mom’s house and I head for a quick three-mile run.

8:15 a.m. — Showered and logging on for work. I also make breakfast of three hard-boiled eggs plus half a bagel with Laughing Cow cheese. Throw in laundry. Finish updating a document per manager feedback yesterday and submit for review.

12:30 p.m. — Head out to Target to buy a wedding card, which I of course forgot to pick up yesterday. I also grab some more Halloween candy since J. has eaten a good chunk of ours. $10.62

1:30 p.m. — Hop on a second call for a work group that I coordinate. Both my bosses are gone for the day so I decide to continue my online shopping from this morning.

2:30 p.m. — I purchase a set of four chairs plus a bench for our dining room table from Crate & Barrel. I apply a 10% off coupon. $2,325.22

3 p.m. — J. heads out to pick up C.

4:30 p.m. — We head to the neighborhood Halloween party just down the street. We eat pizza and chat with the neighbors. We just moved into the neighborhood last month, so it’s nice to have these events to meet people. Then our friends come over and we take the kids trick or treating. We make it until about 6:30 p.m., at which point the kids have had enough. We head back to our place.

7:30 p.m. — Bath for C. plus milk.

8 p.m. — C. is out. I shower and then pack for our trip tomorrow. I also try on my bridesmaid dress. It’s a little snug with pregnancy bloating but still fits. Whew.

9 p.m. — Bedtime for me while J. is just beginning to pack. He also orders a few tools/things for the house on Amazon while watching TV. $35.77

5 a.m. — Workout done. Shower and get ready for the day. Make a cup of coffee, eat a protein bar, and listen to The Daily.

6 a.m. — C. is up. Milk plus Bluey. I eat a piece of toast with some hard-boiled eggs.

7 a.m. — We all head out to drop C. off with my parents, and J. and I head out to the airport. We park the car in the long-term lot, which we’ll pay for when we leave, and then go through security.

9 a.m. — Grab a quick breakfast and coffee at the airport Chili’s. I get a parfait, and J. gets eggs, toast, potatoes, and bacon. I steal a piece of bacon and a few potatoes. $35

12:30 p.m. — We land in Virginia and call a Lyft to the hotel. $30

2 p.m. — We check into our hotel and go grab lunch. I get the shrimp tacos, and J. gets a burger. Both meals aren’t great, but we’re hungry so this will do. J. also gets two beers. $60

4 p.m. — I meet up with another bridesmaid friend, B., since we’re staying at the same hotel. We walk over to the rehearsal together. That takes about an hour and then B.’s husband and J. come pick us up so we can all drive to the welcome dinner and party together. B. just had a second baby not too long ago, so her adorable 6-week-old comes with us.

5:30 p.m. — There’s a cocktail hour, apps, and a delicious dinner followed by speeches. It’s a great time but I’m exhausted after the full day of travel.

9:30 p.m. — Thankfully, B. and her husband are also ready to go, so we head back to the hotel. I shower and head to sleep. As is tradition, J. and B.’s husband go out for a couple beers but don’t make it very long since the bar they choose is overrun by college kids celebrating Halloween. $20.05