I Tried This Warming Arousal Gel & It Is Hot, Hot, HOT

If you own a vagina, chances are you have heard about the unfortunate phenomenon known as "the orgasm gap." According to a 2017 study, only 65% of straight women orgasm, compared to the whopping 95% of their male counterparts. The issue isn't female anatomy, however — it's heteronormative ideas about what constitutes sex and pleasure. Rather than thinking of sex as a spectrum of activities, old-school ideas around sexuality have held penetrative sex as the one and only way — at the cost of the female orgasm. That's because while every woman's body is different when it comes to arousal, the clitoris is paramount. In fact, it was revealed that nearly 40% of women said they need the clit to be stimulated in order to come to orgasm. Dr. Laurie Mintz, PhD. says, "Women need to be aroused prior to penetration, otherwise the vagina doesn't lubricate... The overwhelming majority of women find that incredibly painful." Thankfully, topics like female orgasms are becoming less taboo, and sexual wellness companies are stepping up their game when it comes to making sex more pleasurable for everyone. Vibrators are certainly the most prominent examples, but there's a whole world of orgasm-supporting products out there to explore, like the warming arousal gel from sexual wellness brand Promescent. The product is designed to stimulate blood flow, and according to the product page, causes a slight buzzing sensation to the clitoris, adding more pleasure during intimacy to help lessen that pesky orgasm gap.

The arousal gel, which boasts a 4.5 out of 5-star rating, is part of the brand's efforts to help lift struggling libidos and help vulva-having folks get theirs in a big way. The effusive reviews are scattered with lofty promises from explaining how "it gets the party started before you actually start the party," to one-word expletives like "yummy." Intrigued, I decided to test out the gel for myself to see if its performance lived up to its promises.

Since I had just finished my period (and it had been a minute since I'd orgasmed), I roped my girlfriend into to participating with me to try out the gel. I figured two firsthand opinions were better than one — after all, we experience arousal differently, and if it worked for me but not for her, I wanted you to know. Plus, around my period my clit's sensitivity can be a bit unpredictable, so I wanted to use her as a more reliable baseline.

Upon first glance, I was a bit disappointed. The packaging is adorable (it looks like fancy skincare that could easily be displayed on my vanity), but I wasn't expecting the tube to be so small given the price, which is comparable to the giant pump bottle of my favorite lubricant (shout out to Lelo's Personal Moisturizer!). The product description promised I'd only need a pea-sized drop of the gel, so theoretically (despite the size), the gel should last a good while. Luckily, if you use the link above, Promescent is graciously giving R29 readers an exclusive 15% off their purchase, making the size-per-price-point a little more reasonable.

Although the bottle says just a pea-sized drop of gel will last for up to thirty minutes, I took a larger sample (perhaps two to three peas?), because it came out of the bottle a little too quickly. It ended up being the perfect amount, though. In fact, my girlfriend, rule-follower that she is, decided to take only the recommended pea-sized serving of gel, and within thirty seconds went back for another pea to help start feeling the results. And feel them we did. I was immediately impressed by the way my clit heated up. The warming aspect of this gel is on point.

Though I wasn't exactly prepared for the sensation, it was extremely pleasant. One reviewer described it as a "warm breath," and that's pretty accurate. It felt like those moments right before oral sex where you can feel the heat of their mouth, anxious anticipation peaking your arousal before they actually get down to business. My girlfriend was also impressed with the feeling of heat between her legs. "It's definitely warming," she told me in her final review of the product. And I was surprised that, out of all the warming lubricants, oils, and gels, we've tried, this one felt so unique. While most other warming gels feel tingly, this one really just felt like straddling a radiator, heat gently surrounding the most sensitive bits of my anatomy in the best way possible, and I found myself becoming quickly turned on.

My fast arousal probably had to do with the fact that the bottle instructs you to rub the gel into your clit (and surrounding areas) for five minutes to help it start it do its thing, though. I mean, if I'm going to be rubbing myself for five minutes, I'm going to become aroused regardless of what I'm putting down there. I did understand the directive, however. Because it's really just an arousal gel, not a lubricant, you need that action to help get your juices flowing before any kind of penetration takes place.

Besides the incredible warming sensation, I found that the gel also extended the heights to which I could push my orgasm. The heated arousal created a slower and steadier build of pleasure, which plateaued just below the precipice of my orgasm. I can't tell you how many minutes I was mumbling, "I'm so close," but it was a while. For someone who has trouble orgasming on the regular, that might be a frustrating experience to be so close for so long (even though I don't usually have trouble orgasming, I was starting to get impatient myself), but when my orgasm finally hit, it was so worth it. The actual length of my orgasm was long. Like, lost-all-sense-of-time-and-space long. And my girlfriend agreed that her experience was the same. Though she plateaued for a shorter amount of time (again, this is why I included her! I knew my hormones were gonna skew my experience!), the orgasm she felt was more intense and longer than usual. Because of the heating aspect, though, it left us both a bit warmer and sweatier than usual, but that's definitely not enough to keep me away.

I will probably try it again, further away from my period, to really see how it stacks up, but I would definitely encourage someone who wants to experiment with different clitoral stimuli give this gel a whirl or two. I could see it being especially handy on a cold winter night (or during the dead of summer when your AC is blasting its little head off).