Illustrated by Madelyn Somers.RSVP on time, and say "thank you."
I had this one crossed off the list immediately. I did forget the parking pass for party #5, however, which created a little mess and made me appear high-maintenance. Oops. (I prefer to be high-maintenance in private only.)
Show up and smile.
I showed up to four out of seven parties, and, believe me, that was significant progress. If I'm being 100% honest, though, I had the wrong night down on my calendar for party #4, which had me missing my favorite event of award season, since I had committed to spending the night with my kids. We stayed in and ordered Chinese take-out — not a bad trade-off, it turned out. When I did manage to show up to parties, though, I had the smiling part down pat.
Illustrated by Madelyn Somers.Dress the part.
This year, I finally had the system figured out. I was comfortable at all the parties I attended, and I even repeated part of an outfit by wearing the same leather pants twice. Fashion faux pas? Perhaps. Was I comfortable? Definitely. More importantly, my Emmy dress was easy and Spanx-free. My feet were fine and only sported two band-aids. Dressing the part was a breeze — but, admittedly, it's taken me a couple of years to get to this point.
Eat before you drink.
Like remembering to smile, this one's easy for me. I never forget to eat. Plus, having a light lunch before the awards has become a regular ritual. I always order room service while getting dressed — nothing that might lead me to feel bloated.
If you want to drink, do it moderately.
Success here, too: I can report that for the first time ever, I didn’t see any people making fools of themselves by overdoing it with the free booze. Or, maybe I just didn’t stay late enough to witness the table dancing. Either way: success.
Don’t job-hunt.
I only found myself doing what I call the “linger stance” one night, and I snapped myself out of it quickly. I made the rounds, reminding myself to mingle and move on if the person's whose attention I wanted was occupied. Even though going back didn't work — its impossible to find people as the night goes on and the room gets more crowded — I never ended up standing around and looking desperate for conversation.
Balance the banter.
While I didn’t get on my soapbox, I wouldn’t say I was very successful with this tip. By the fifth night of parties, I was completely talked out and exhausted.
Illustrated by Madelyn Somers.Don’t bring a random date.
I chose the perfect companion: my boyfriend. He’s even better at managing these tips than I am, and he looked like a Brooklyn James Bond in his tux, to boot. Moreover, he's got the gift of the gab — and he stayed by my side all night.
Make the rounds.
I followed this tip so diligently, I was dizzy. At some point in every party, though, I ended up huddled in the corner with the same group: my "Veeples.” Our quarterbacks were Veep’s creator, Armando Iannucci, and star, Julia Louis Dreyfus. We only won one Emmy that night, but it was a big one (Best Actress in a Comedy), which made this the third year in a row for the most talented lady on TV.
Say "thank you" and make a graceful exit.
I didn’t trip. My dress didn’t get ripped or torn. And, no one spilled on me. So, I’ll call my exit a success.