A Week In Queens, NY On A $120,000 Salary

Occupation: Software engineer
Industry: Finance
Age: 25
Location: Queens, NY
Salary: $120,000
Assets: $28,000 in Roth IRA; $50,000 in 401(k); $42,000 in HYSA; $4,000 in checking. I would have more money saved up but my family needed financial help in 2023, which resulted in me giving them about $55,000 total.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $3,000
Pronouns: She/they

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $1,600 rent for a one-bedroom apartment including heating gas, water and trash.
Loan payments: $0
Electric: ~$60
Gas: ~$20. Most of it is a monthly fee to keep it up — I believe the breakdown is $18 a month and then extra depending on how much I use the stove (normally $2-4).
Internet: $40 (on a temporary, year-long deal) + $70 (I pay for my family’s internet).
Spotify: $11 (I used to have a student plan and never jumped on anyone’s family plan).
Phone: ~$150 (I pay for my family plan).
Home security: $11 (I use a janky system I’m thinking of dumping).
Health insurance: $0 (still on my parents’ insurance but I turn 26 very soon and will be booted).
Streaming: $0 (I use my partner’s Netflix and Amazon Video).

Annual Expenses

1Password: $39
Amazon Prime: $75 (planning on canceling).
Domains: ~$50 (I have a few).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I’m a first-gen immigrant but everyone in my generation attended college so although it wasn’t really stated, we all knew that after high school we’d enroll in college. I will add that my parents did not push us as hard academically as some of my aunts and uncles pushed my cousins, and I ended up attending a local private college despite our family not being well off. My college was expensive and, although I had scholarships to cover about two-thirds of the tuition, I ended up taking out the maximum in subsidized federal loans every semester and still needing help for the first two years (the relative who helped me out did so because they were trying to help minimize the loan interest accumulation). My parents did not have money; our family lived paycheck to paycheck so one of my relatives stepped in and selflessly covered the tuition. I intend to repay them with interest, even though I know they would never accept the money from me. The rest of the tuition I covered by myself by working over the summers and during the school semester. I graduated during the pandemic, which meant I was lucky enough to take advantage of the interest freeze. I ended up paying off all my student loans right before interest resumed last year.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Growing up, only one of my parents worked, while the other stayed home to take care of me and my siblings. Although we were poor, we grew up being spoiled with toys and books. Our parents hid our money troubles from us and I did not realize we were poor until I got to middle school.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was as an office assistant at my college the summer before school started. I got it through a work-study program and the intention was that I’d use it to help pay for tuition (which is exactly what happened).

Did you worry about money growing up?
I didn’t worry about money in the sense that many people do while growing up since I never pieced together that we were poor until I was a bit older. After that revelation I did worry a little but since my parents refused to share the severity of our situation, I decided to just focus on my studies.

Do you worry about money now?
I worry but at the same time I know I am not making enough of an effort to optimize my money. I eat takeout five to 10 times a week (including iced coffees) and I shop online once a month for something I most likely do not need and it’s usually a singular “nice” splurge ($100-$200). I am fortunate to have landed a “cushy” job that pays more than it’s worth, really, even though I am considered underpaid for my years of experience and location. If my parents had their retirement covered, I don’t think I would even chase a high salary. However, since they still live almost paycheck to paycheck and are getting older, I constantly worry about not making enough to retire them comfortably.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself when I moved out of home at the age of 21. My first job paid a little less than $100,000, and for the first time in my life I had my own room. I offered to pay my family phone bill and internet bills about a year ago. I want to take more bills off their plate but they don’t even really like it when I offer to pay for groceries when we shop together. It’s nice that my parents have always only been concerned about my safety and health but it’s annoying that they never ask for help unless it’s absolutely dire. My safety net is the savings in my HYSA. Ideally, that would be a down payment for my parents’ place since they’ve lived in the same ratty apartment since before I was born, but I know anything can happen and unfortunately that might mean restarting that cash pile.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

10 a.m. — I don’t have any team meetings today so I wake up an hour later. I worked extra yesterday so I don’t feel guilty about this even though I’m salaried so it doesn’t really matter.

10:20 a.m. — I make iced coffee for myself and my partner, R., which is almost always how I start my mornings. I’m not really that good at making it because I’m too lazy to get the ice to coffee ratio right, so we normally drink lukewarm coffees.

10:30 a.m. — I microwave leftovers and share with R. We are both catching up with missed messages and starting our work days. We eat our leftovers to a little Bridgerton since part two of season three released yesterday. I love Nicola Coughlan so much. I’m not one for parasocial relationships but Nicola is such a talented actress (Derry Girls was my intro to her work) and she always seems so in touch with current events and memes.

2 p.m. — We head out to R.’s office where I check in as a guest and settle on a table in the public seating area while R. heads off to their company’s private office space. $2.90

7 p.m. — Some heavy rain passes by the area. I’m sitting by the window so I get to watch the storm pass while the sun sets. I’ve been bouncing between work and helping my siblings edit their resumes on my personal laptop. They’re all still in school and internship-hunting in this job climate so I don’t really blame them for not having anything this summer.

9 p.m. — R. leaves their office to meet me since we are both starving by now. We waste 30 minutes cycling between not being able to pick a spot to eat and working on our own laptops.

9:30 p.m. — We finally get dinner — we end up going to a new-to-us spot that’s walkable from the office and ordering omurice with demi-glace sauce. The food is okay but I’ve definitely had better omurice elsewhere in the city — I think the issue is their demi-glace, which is mostly salty rather than having a slight kick of sweet and acid. The total is around $65 and R. pays, since we take turns.

10:30 p.m. — R. doesn’t live with me but they spend the night often so we both head out back to my place via the train. $2.90

11 p.m. — I’ve been priding myself on girl sleep as of late (I call it girl sleep since studies came out recently that the eight hours of sleep a day figure is based on studies on men — women actually need nine to 10 hours) so I floss (Cocofloss passion fruit), brush (Cocoshine Lychee Breeze), shower (generic hair loss shampoo and Nature Republic argan hair pack), face wash (Perfect Whip), nighttime skincare (Mamonde Hydrating Beauty Water, Vaseline Lip Therapy Rosy Lip, Italic Peptide Renewal Serum, MISSHA MISA Geum Sul Vitalizing Eye Cream), treat myself to a dab of body lotion I got in my Chloé EDP set (it dissipates by the morning but I like sniffing my wrists before falling asleep) and get into my PJs “early.” I’ve been on a two-week streak of getting to bed before midnight and falling asleep pretty fast and I love it.

12 a.m. — R. and I end up continuing Bridgerton from bed while getting in our daily cuddles.

5 a.m. — For some reason, I wake up before I finish my dream.

5:10 a.m. — I cave and go on my phone. I normally try to avoid this when I accidentally wake up too early.

6:10 a.m. — I ended up going back to bed after attempting to photosynthesize in my kitchen for five minutes. I debate making myself a coffee now or waiting until I get out to treat myself to an iced coffee. Ultimately, I just drink cold water, listen to music and update my to-do list for the day. My last 20 added songs are currently a mix of PinkPantheress, RM, Chappell Roan and some older songs thrown in, like “Just A Girl” and “The Middle”.

6:50 a.m. — I decide to hop on my elliptical, which is my only piece of workout equipment. I set up my iPad since my current biking show is Scavengers Reign and the plot is so interesting that my workout goes by fast and my butt cheeks hurt because I don’t have much padding.

7:30 a.m. — I work out for about 40 minutes enjoying my show and end up sweaty despite not really doing much. When I’m done, I settle down at my desktop to do some miscellaneous tasks I’ve been putting off.

8:30 a.m. — R. wakes up and goes straight to their laptop since they’ve been fixated on a code editor. I take it as a sign to vacuum. They’re free today and we have a movie date planned so we both start putting on sunscreen and getting dressed. We use a mineral sunscreen (Thinkbaby) for our arms and necks and a chemical spray (Bioré UV) for our faces. I throw on my nearly decade-old bootleg ATLA Aang/Korra shirt that’s one size too small for me now and my favorite pair of black utility pants with five huge pockets. I toss my sunscreen spray, keys and wallet in my blue Sandy Liang x Baggu shoulder bag.

9 a.m. — It’s the weekend so the trains are all running funky and it takes us a bit longer to reach our destination than it normally would. $2.90

10 a.m. — R. makes a last-minute decision to get a haircut so we split and I make it to my allergist for my monthly shot just in time. At this point I’m three years into the process so I go in, get the shot, then go straight out to treat myself to an iced coffee. There’s a bit of a wait at the office so I pull out the book I borrowed from the local public library (I Who Have Never Known Men). $2.16

10:30 a.m. — I head to the library to print a prepaid label (paid for by the shipee) then off to USPS to ship it. I don’t have a printer despite needing one about every month because visiting the library is fun for me. Visit your local public library! They’re dying and chronically underfunded.

11 a.m. — We meet back up to head to our showing of Inside Out 2 — we don’t need to use the kiosk since I booked our seats two days ago. I love animated movies — I know some people think of them as kids’ movies but some of them do a better job conveying complex emotions and family dynamics than most films. The theater is packed because they run a deal where each ticket is $7 before fees if seeing an early showing. R. impulsively buys a light-up Anger popcorn bucket (I think) and we get a medium popcorn bag out of it with a $5 discount so the entire thing is about $21. Unsurprisingly, I cry during the film, even though the first one was better. I’m a sucker for feel-y movies and crying in the theater. $17.78

1:10 p.m. — R. and I are craving Vietnamese coffee and order a classic Vietnamese coffee and vanilla cold brew (both iced because it’s humid and HOT today). It’s a little pricier than our usual but the coffee is strong, creamy and not overly sweet. I pay since I’m trying to make up for our dinner yesterday. $16.31

1:45 p.m. — We take a long walk to a Korean restaurant we haven’t been to in a while, sipping our coffees and talking about nothing. R.’s haircut is similar to what they used to get when we first started dating over four years ago and it takes me back to our first few dates. They usually play roulette with their haircuts by walking into random spots and asking for a trim.

1:50 p.m. — Our soondubu and various banchan come pretty fast. I pick kimchi and pork but I am pretty sure they forgot to add pork. I don’t complain because I actually prefer it without meat so I enjoy my spicy kimchi, tofu, onion and zucchini soup on an 80°F day. R. and I don’t really track who pays for what very well but I try my best to split our date fund down the middle so I stop them from paying and throw my card down. $41.69

3:16 p.m. — We’re both feeling lazy and check the price of taking a ride-share back to motivate us to walk to the train. We end up spending what we would’ve spent on the ride at HMart buying a honeycrisp apple, two bags of on-sale tanghulu (mandarin, strawberry), a quart-sized stainless steel food container (maybe I’ll meal prep or maybe I’ll make my own kimchi), and some low-sodium soy sauce, because I finally used up my bottle from 2020. $34.15

3:35 p.m. — We hop on the train to head back. We’re both pretty tired and ready to take a cold shower and nap. $2.90

5:57 p.m. — I launch Fortnite and open up the tanghulu packs we bought. They kinda melted so half of the sticks look gross and foggy. Taste-wise, I don’t know why we expected anything other than super-frozen and non-crunchy fruits. 0/10 would not get again.

7:11 p.m. — We somehow play Fortnite for over an hour and my second pang of tiredness hits me. I consider skipping dinner and going to bed after I condition my hair and brush my teeth.

8 p.m. — I do exactly what I plan and am in bed earlier than usual by about two hours. It’s weird being in bed when the sun is still up but I’m pretty tired from waking up so early. Cue nighttime skincare routine and then I put on The Middle (which I’ve seen twice already). I update my daily to-do list for the night, which basically just involves me moving my remaining items to the next day. R. is on their laptop typing away since they haven’t been up for 15 hours like myself, so I have some nice sounds to fall asleep to. Goodnight.

8 a.m. — I wake up but feel like sleeping more.

10 a.m. — I wake up again because R. wakes up and that makes enough noise for me.

10:50 a.m. — After dillydallying and doing our pre-outside tasks, R. and I decide to head out since we’re both starving. We bring their bike as there’s a repair shop near the spot we’re going to.

11 a.m. — I stop inside a coffee shop to pick up a cold brew for us to share. Today’s pretty hot again but the sun and blue skies mean every local is frolicking. $6.48

11:30 a.m. — R. drops their bike off at the bike shop for a tune-up and we stop at a nearby Chinese restaurant to feast. I get a sandwich because I love their tofu sandwiches and R. gets their usual, which is the chive and pork pan-fried dumplings. R. treats us for almost $35.

12:30 p.m. — We walk over to a bakery and I pick up egg tarts, pork floss bread, some croissant-like pastries, iced coffee for one of my siblings and a small fruit cake (the fresh kind with cream, not the Christmas kind). $50.10

12:50 p.m. — R. and I split since I’m heading to my folks’ while they are heading back to my place to work. They work at a startup so work time is any free time. $2.90

1:30 p.m. — I make it to my family home, drop off the pastries and cake. I do my usual idling and catching up with my family while they’re all doing their chores and tasks. I sip on some herbal soup that my folks set aside last night, anticipating my visit, and I brag to them about being able to sleep early for the first time in my life.

2:10 p.m. — My family and I head out to an HMart to grocery shop. My family picks up a random assortment of fresh and frozen food and I grab three packs of tofu, a box of strawberries, some salmon skin chips and a mint plant, as it's $3. I love grocery shopping so we take our time and I browse the aisles while helping my folks run their items back to our grocery cart. I pay but as usual my folks put up a slight fight. $138.07

3:30 p.m. — We stop at a second supermarket to see if there’s any other groceries we can pick up. I get tempted by the frozen prepped food at this supermarket so I pick up a couple of boxes. $21.86

4:55 p.m. — I head upstairs with my two huge bags and a pack of toilet paper. R. was able to pick up their bike from the shop and it looks visibly “newer.” I spend what feels like three hours unpacking the groceries, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the lettuce and dropping it in my salad spinner, rinsing the strawberries and repotting the mint plant.

8 p.m. — R. and I sit down for dinner. I have home-cooked food (vermicelli with scallion oil and a brisket-like meat wrapped in lettuce) that I brought back from my folks’, while R. pan-fries some chicken and broccoli with Bachan’s Japanese BBQ Sauce.

9 p.m. — R. and I decide to attempt making tanghulu since we have all the ingredients on hand. We sub sugar for honey powder and aren’t confectioners so it’s possible we mess up before we start boiling the mixture. The strawberries end up being glazed and I struggle with eating the sticky glaze so we pack the remaining strawberries.

11:40 p.m. — I’m showered and in bed. Tired but also we’re on the last episode of Bridgerton.

8:10 a.m. — Good morning. We didn’t finish Bridgerton last night because we were too sleepy so we have that to look forward to tonight.

8:30 a.m. — I make R. and me coffee from some Trader Joe’s concentrate. It’s okay but I don’t think I’ll pick it up again. We log into our respective work instruments for the day.

9 a.m. — The pork floss bread I saved for R. is sitting on the top shelf of my fridge so I nuke it and bring it to them. They get really excited because they forgot that we picked it up the previous day.

9:30 a.m. — I make a breakfast of pasta, brown tomatoes, a splash of green goddess salad dressing, some frozen spinach and basil. I love how leafy foods freeze into chips.

9:50 a.m. — I share my pasta with R. who surprisingly says it’s good. The first time I made them pasta they hated it, so this is years of development in the making.

1 p.m. — R. leaves for their office via Fresh Bike and I use it as an opportunity to lie on my couch for a quick break. I’m a little sore from lugging two heavy bags yesterday and also recovering from three back-to-back meetings.

3:30 p.m. — It’s so hot outside that I feel warm just sitting indoors. I decide to nuke my leftovers from last night’s dinner. I’ll never get tired of homemade food now that I’m living away from home and don’t have unlimited access to it. I also finish up the strawberries from last night since the sticky sugar had all melted off by the morning.

5 p.m. — I log off from work promptly at 5 p.m. today. One of my coworkers took a detailed breakdown that I wrote and sent it in an email while tagging our boss but did not bother thanking me nor mention my work. I make a mental note to get richer than him out of spite. I open up my iPad to draw. I normally don’t have much time to draw but I’ve been able to end work on time more than usual lately.

6:30 p.m. — I’m hungry again and my neck hurts from sitting like a shrimp. I’m trying to clear my freezer so I heat up some frozen veggie egg rolls. They’re okay; they taste like nothing and I normally eat them for the crunchy shell and smooth vermicelli and veggies. I tune into The Middle so I can browse Reddit and update my resume casually.

8 p.m. — R. isn’t coming home until around midnight so I snack a bit and contemplate getting ready for bed early so I can wake up even earlier tomorrow. I’ve been in a pretty bad rut for the past three to five years and this year’s theme is complete solitude but with energy to do hobbies.

8:20 p.m. — I grab a glass of cold water, clean up my kitchen for the night and get back to my desktop to edit one of my sibling’s resumes. I feel like every year I revisit their resume, the last version looks worse than I remember. I don’t even think I’m seeing that many resumes, it might just be my reading comprehension slowly getting better from reading books.

9:30 p.m. — I shower and get ready for bed. R. is leaving work earlier than anticipated but by the time they’re back I’ll be cozy in our A/C room with cold sheets and my Cinnamoroll jammies.

10 p.m. — I lied, I ended up doing more computer tasks.

11 p.m. — Now we are both showered and in bed. Bridgerton season 3 finale once again.

8:10 a.m. — Someone hits the buzzer downstairs, which never fails to spook me awake. We’re not expecting anything so I don’t get out of bed to buzz anyone in.

8:50 a.m. — Okay, I guess I’m ready for work. I log in and am greeted with an ominous “Hello” from one of my coworkers. The message is hours old since we have colleagues all around the world.

9:10 a.m. — I use up the Trader Joe’s concentrate — four large-ish glasses of coffee is not too bad. Today’s tastes a little more palatable because I used more milk instead of water.

9:40 a.m. — I make a nice bowl of Shin Ramyun with egg and limp bok choy for R. If you couldn’t tell, I’m the chef between the two of us. I then fix myself a bowl of salad from my green goddess salad kit.

11:20 a.m. — In a team call, the coworker that copy-pasted my work without crediting me references it but credits it to a junior male colleague. I call them out for it.

1 p.m. — Work call wraps up late and I carry on until I get hungry again. I decide to cook the same pasta thing I cooked yesterday. R. let themselves out to head to their office so I’m just cooking lunch for one.

5:30 p.m. — A coworker messages me asking for semi-urgent input and I reply despite it being out of office hours. They set a deadline for my reply that is before my morning meetings.

6 p.m. — I update my resume again and apply for a job at a competitor. I’m hungry and air-fry some veggie egg rolls again. I don’t really like them so I’m trying to clear them from my freezer.

7 p.m. — I cycle between The Middle, Instagram and Reddit, feeling aimless once again. I revisit my Notion for art ideas to explore but I’m not feeling particularly up for much. I complained to a few friends today about work but only two of them get back to me. I guess never being available to hang out and spreading negativity gets you to this. I should probably stop pestering others about my feelings because I’m not in a headspace where I can comfortably be a good friend to anyone.

9:30 p.m. — I have a lot of early meetings tomorrow and I’m experiencing Sunday scaries during the week. I really dread my one-to-one with my manager tomorrow since I’ve already caught the feeling that they’ll be another manager that does not care about my development nor happiness. A corporate classic.

10:40 p.m. — R. arrives with late-night pizza. They treat us to three slices at $3 per slice. I figured maybe the carbs will give us both food coma and we’ll shower and sleep earlyish. I’d rather wake up early for stressful work days.

12 a.m. — Sigh. Digesting the pizza sets me off my sleep schedule. I guess I’ll tackle tomorrow with a crutch. I’m also out of my peptide serum and make a mental note to break out a new serum from my small backlog.

8:30 a.m. — I begrudgingly roll out of bed. I was going to tag to R.’s office today for my back-to-back meetings but I'm not feeling particularly up for it. I’m also tired because I wasted an hour crying myself to sleep last night and slept after midnight.

9:30 a.m. — Late coffee this morning because I logged into work, checked the messages my coworkers sent late last night and early this morning, then went to lie on my couch.

10 a.m. — My back-to-back meetings start. The one-to-one goes okay. I try my best to be direct and honest while not coming off as too immature or petty. I make sure to name-drop the colleagues that have been pleasant to work with and credit them for the work they’ve put forth.

1 p.m. — R. and I are famished and head to get KBBQ. We fill up on a small amount of various steaks, which I think would’ve cost the same if we had bought each individual serving. I don’t actually know because I don’t shop for meat very often. $88.88

2:30 p.m. — I treat us to midday coffee. Two iced cold brews with milk. $13.07

2:50 p.m. — Back to work for both of us. We have a heated argument while heading back about the different ways we approach stress. I’m not very good at arguing and R. is terrible at stress management so our disputes usually take a few hours due to both of us needing time to collect our thoughts.

5 p.m. — I log off work and draw. I’ve been trying to find my art style and suffer from perfectionism so I make my canvas huge and use the 6B pencil to sketch ugly stuff.

8 p.m. — I have a DoorDash discount code and the heat, coupled with the fact that I only have soup ingredients on hand, convinces us to order takeout tonight. Being soup fiends, we end up getting noodle soup anyway with a side of fries. I pay since I have DashPass. We’re watching Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken tonight but don’t finish since we get full and pack the leftovers away. $29.03

9 p.m. — I re-review my sibling’s resume after they reply to some of my comments and continue my doodling.

12 a.m. — Second night hitting the bed late. I am gutted.

9 a.m. — My first meeting of the day is now and I leave bed right on time to join.

10 a.m. — I pack up my work laptop, my iPad, chargers and throw on a small T-shirt and loose jeans I got from OKIO. Today’s hot so my T-shirt is dark since I sweat richly. The trains are on time this morning. $2.90

10:30 a.m. — We reach R.’s office but stop for coffee first: two iced lattes. R. pays about $14 for them.

10:40 a.m. — We head over to a Subway to grab two sandwiches that’ll hopefully settle us for the day. R. treats us for this, too.

11 a.m. — Team meeting runs over again and I don’t get off until 12:30 p.m. By the time we wrap up I’m already mentally checked out.

4 p.m. — I log off work early today because we have a team call at 11 p.m. tonight that I’ll need to join to help with testing. In the past I would work the entire day despite having late-night work items to handle but now that I’m a few years in and burnt out, I’m over it. I am going to meet up with R. for dinner so I pull out my iPad to sketch some more and listen to some Dr K podcast episodes.

7:40 p.m. — I draw until my iPad dies. The timing is perfect because R. is ready to meet for dinner.

8 p.m. — We head over to a new-to-us Korean comfort food restaurant and both end up getting soup even though all day it's basically been 95°F. This is the best spot I’ve eaten all month. I get kimchi tofu pork soup, which comes with a lot of extra onions and a small bowl of rice. $57.22

9 p.m. — We catch the bus home. Both feeling a slight food coma but satisfied.

11 p.m. — Hop on a call for a release. The person who set up this call blocked three whole hours for it. Thankfully, it ends after the first hour and I go straight to bed.