A Week In Greater Cincinnati On A $35,000 Salary

A note from our diarist: The past year has been so eventful, I wanted to put a summary right upfront to catch you up (you can read my original diary here).

As you may remember from my first diary, I was waiting for nerve decompression surgery in May to correct my debilitating migraines. Surgery was extensive but went better than we ever could have dreamed — we owe my surgeon and his team everything. It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say they gave me my life back, because only after surgery did I realize that I’d been desperately trying to scrape and claw my way through each day with no real hope of things getting better, rather than actually living. 

In July 2023, I got engaged to my fiancé at the Eras tour and promptly made it my entire personality. A month later, I got pneumonia. It started as a routine diagnosis with antibiotics for treatment and devolved into a surprise inpatient stay in the pulmonary ward after scans of my lungs showed them to be scarily and unexplainably scarred and wrecked.

August through November, I continued to decline at a rapid pace. All of my joints were riddled with arthritis, I lost most of my fine motor skills, my lungs got worse and I was always struggling to breathe, even with multiple inhalers. I gained over 50lb of pure inflammation. My muscles degraded to the point where I lost my ability to shower, dress myself, go up and down the stairs, and put on my shoes. It started affecting my throat and I suddenly had trouble swallowing. The skin on my fingers and hands started to crack, bleed and fall off. In November, I was hospitalized for the fourth time — I had less than 30% lung function and I couldn’t get out of bed without assistance. Thanks to some amazing doctors who refused to give up on me and my medical mystery, I was finally, after 24 years of things never being quite right, diagnosed with a rare autoimmune condition and started immediately on immunosuppressants as well as Rituxan infusions. But because we had to slowly titrate up onto the immunosuppressants, I continued to get worse — at this point, my fiancé took FMLA leave to help take care of me. 

By the spring of 2024, things were finally starting to look up. I was able to discontinue the breathing treatments and my lung function skyrocketed from less than 30% to above 70%. I regained muscle as well as gross and fine motor skills. My joints were no longer three times their size. Bald spots started to fill in and I stopped losing so much hair in the shower. I could dress, eat and drive by myself.

Which brings us to now! Things are mostly normal (whatever that means), though I’ve struggled with some flare-ups and need pretty intense physical therapy to try and regain the muscle I’ve lost throughout my body. I somehow survived an autoimmune disease that has likely been wreaking havoc in the background for years and we just never knew it. I’m honestly shocked it didn’t kill me the first time around in high school when I started showing signs of something being very wrong. It’s also hard to wrap my head around the fact that literally within a year I went from being so optimistic about my future to almost dying, then back to optimism. I try to believe that in my own life, everything happens for a reason, and I’m not really sure what the reason for all of this is yet. But I’m only 25. I’ll figure it out.

Occupation: Bridal stylist; event staff/stage door/security; packer/shipper; owner/operator/performer of a character company specializing in children’s entertainment. Side hustles: academic surveys, product testing, consumer panels.
Industry: Specialty retail, customer service/security, entertainment
Age: 25
Location: Greater Cincinnati area
Wages: For my various jobs, I earn between $14 and $50 an hour (the latter being for my character company). Academic surveys usually total an extra $50-$100 a month; product testing/consumer panels can range anywhere from $35-$100 an hour. Calculating strictly base pay (no commission, no extra shifts, no money from side hustles), I make about $1,250 a month (before taxes). This is not enough to cover my monthly bills so I rely on those other factors to boost my income.
Assets: Personal checking account: $2,000; business checking account: $1,000; HYSA: $7,000; Roth IRA: $1,000. Car’s worth (according to KBB): ~$16,000.
Debt: $4,000 to a family member for my business startup. The goal is to pay off $1,000 a year, minimum. Thus far I’ve been able to do this solely with business profits but I will contribute personal income if needed.
Paycheck amount: This varies. I owed over $1,000 to the IRS this past tax season so now I withhold about $100 a month from my various paychecks to help compensate for this for next year. My paycheck frequency also varies, from weekly to bimonthly. For my side gigs, I cash out my academic survey account monthly, and product testing/consumer panels are paid within 30 days of the job through cash, checks or virtual gift cards.
Pronouns: All pronouns.
Note: For insurance purposes, my fiancé, J., and I filed for domestic partnership but as of now we are keeping our finances largely separate, other than that and my use of his HSA.

Housing costs: $850/month for a two-bed/one-bath apartment, split 60/40ish with J. (he pays $530, I pay $320).
Loan payments: $0 (see above).
Rent/electric: $400
Healthcare: $725 (massage, insurance through J.’s work, chiropractor, various payment plans for ER visits/doc appointments/lab work, prescriptions, etc.). Now that we are domestic partners, I will be using J.’s HSA card for a lot of the little things like prescriptions, lab work and so on. I’m hoping this will save me at least $100-$150/month in expenses.
Gas: $100
Cat fund: $75 (pet insurance, food, toys, etc. J. contributes $55).
Spotify Duo Premium: $17
Phone bill: $22
Savings: Currently I have enough saved for three months of expenses so any extra money is going towards the wedding. After that I will move my goal to six months’ expenses and start contributing more to my Roth IRA.
Wi-fi & streaming services: $0 (fiancé covers Hulu, Netflix, Game Pass, Nintendo Online, Disney+. I also use his HSA account and I know he contributes another $100 a month towards my insurance cost).
Amazon Prime & car insurance: $0 (Mom covers).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, absolutely. Thankfully, both my parents were always very supportive about me wanting to get my degree in theater. I got a high enough ACT score to get tuition covered; my parents paid for the rest (they saw getting tuition covered as “doing my part”). It was always kind of understood that provided I got as many scholarships as I could to help contribute, they would cover the rest.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Many, many conversations, ever since I was young. I was introduced to the Dave Ramsey envelope method at about age 12 (thanks Mom!) where you save some, spend some and give some. She made the stereotypical twentysomething mistake of ending up with a lot of credit card debt and as she got older, got very serious about being more responsible with money and paying off her debt/not going into debt ever again. My dad, on the other hand, is an accountant for an insurance agency who has a condo in Florida and a house/boat down at the lake. So coming from very different financial backgrounds there. He also talked about money to me a lot, notably the importance of working for what you have and saving for the future and the unexpected. I had a little kiddie-sized ATM piggy bank that I thought was the coolest thing ever and I saved up for things I wanted. I remember my first “big” purchase was a Nintendo DS Lite and a Hannah Montana game, which would’ve been about $130. I was so proud of myself.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started working at Altar’d State in the mall at 16 for spending money. I LOVED (and actually still love) clothes so the employee discount was the most amazing thing ever, because I loved their stuff but it’s pretty pricey. My first paycheck was around $200 and I spent the whole thing on clothes. I remember telling my mom I felt rich.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not really. I was conscious of money and how much things cost — for example, I went to summer camp every week for eight to 10 weeks in the summer, and I was responsible for researching it, including schedules and pricing — but my dad always paid for it all. We went to Florida yearly, I always got my big-ticket item at Christmas, and I had dance, voice and flute lessons weekly for over a decade. I didn’t get everything I wanted but I never wanted for anything necessary.

Do you worry about money now?
Much less than I did a year ago! Of course inflation is always going to be problematic and wedding planning is expensive, but I’m much more stable on the health side of things, which allows me to work more consistently and fear time off much less. I am also on my fiancé’s insurance so I no longer have an income limit. The “budgeting down to the last dollar” tendencies haven’t gone away though.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
When I was 20, I started paying for my own phone plan, healthcare, housing and other bills. My car is now switched to my name but my mom is still paying for it. I have a huge safety net in my fiancé — he gets paid extremely well and his job seems to continue wanting to throw raises and bonuses at him — as well as my mom, my in-laws and the rest of my family.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My mom and I were in a car crash in 2017 and we were each awarded $40,000 in restitution. I bought my car then used the rest to pay for college expenses after cutting myself off from my dad. My aunt took out a savings bond for me when I was born that matured to $5,000 when I turned 21. I put $2,000 of it into opening my business and the rest was used for daily living expenses and put into savings. My mom took out $15,000 from her 401(k) to pay for my nerve decompression surgery in 2023. My dad contributed about $3,000 to cover the remaining cost of surgery and to supplement my income while I was in recovery. Due to medical hardship, I qualified for billing assistance through the local hospital network for 2024. All hospital bills left over after insurance are forgiven. I still pay for physician billing on a payment plan. Also, as mentioned, I was loaned $5,000 by my grandmother for business startup costs.

5:30 a.m. — Typical that I’ve started both Money Diaries off with horrible sleep. Unsure what the culprit is so I play around on my phone to see if I get sleepy again.

7:30 a.m. — Spoiler alert: I do not. I get up and make some blueberry oatmeal (I finally broke the Honey Nut Cheerio habit, aren’t y’all proud of me?!) and eat on the couch so I don’t wake up my fiancé, J., in the bedroom. The calming narration of Bright Sun Travels reviewing a cruise ship convinces my brain that maybe I actually can go back to sleep.

10:45 a.m. — I get up and start prepping for a job I have later today (skincare, hair braided to go under a wig cap, laying out my costume and accessories).

11:30 a.m. — Realize I’ve finished my makeup sooner than I needed to so I sit on the bed in pajamas and a full face of glittery makeup and do my budget. Today is payday and I am SO happy with my numbers — I had some excellent sales days in the past two weeks and it shows. I’m able to pay off my remaining bills for the month, set aside for bills for next month and shove some money into savings for the wedding!

1 p.m. — Into my costume, touch up the wig, take some selfies for posterity and head to my 2 p.m. gig. I warm up in the car along with listening to the movie soundtrack to refresh my memory.

4:30 p.m. — It went great but we had about 150 kids come through and that’s exhausting even on the best of days. My character tends to be more vocally demanding and my singing wasn’t as great as I would’ve liked today. Oh well. On the way home I pop into one of my jobs to pick up my check (no direct deposit) and my coworkers get a kick out of me running through in pink eyeshadow and a glittery dress. I tend to listen to podcasts on my way home from gigs as they’re much lower energy. I’m currently listening to Unsealed: The Tylenol Murders, about the 1982 Chicago Tylenol poisonings.

5:30 p.m. — Makeup is off, I am showered and sanitized (now that I’m on immunosuppressants, I try to be a lot more careful around kids — I love them but they are petri dishes) and I inhale some leftover pizza while watching The Try Guys and Kitchen & Jorn. I also deposit my check and earmark it for vacation — we’re going to the beach in a month! Between COVID-19 and me being too sick to travel, it’s our first real vacation in FIVE YEARS of being a couple and I’m so excited I could cry (and I did when I booked our flights a few months back, lol). I also schedule a mani/pedi and eyebrow tweeze a few days before we leave.

7:30 p.m. — I bad-influence J. into getting dinner on the way home and bringing me a milkshake, which is absolutely heavenly on my throat. He also gets me my own fries because he’s well trained like that! He pays. We watch our weekly MasterChef episode while we eat.

8:30 p.m. — I have a bunch of miscellaneous stuff to do: unbox an Amazon order of a lunchbox, XXL pill container and accessories for my friend’s birthday tomorrow, as well as some fun bridal/bachelorette stuff I got for cheap on Facebook Marketplace. Unfortunately I’ve done a LOT of spending the past few weeks and vowed to put my credit card away for a while, so this might be a very boring Money Diary. I pack my lunch for work, pack my outfit and makeup for the party (a bunch of us are getting ready at the shop and then going from there), and put away my costume from earlier. The apartment is a Hot Mess™ thanks to me having my rituximab infusions in June and consequently feeling like crap, but my schedule is (knock on wood) slightly less busy this week so I’m hopeful I will be able to start chipping away at it.

10 p.m. — I am skincared, acne-patched, teeth brushed and in bed with glasses on by 10 p.m. because kids are exhausting and I have a looooooong day tomorrow. I break out the label maker for the new pill containers and reorganize my pharmacy while Good Mythical Morning plays in the background (I take my meds while I’m at it). Scroll on Reddit for a bit until the cat yells at me that it’s time to turn the lights out around 11 p.m.

6:30 a.m. — Wake up, eat breakfast, do skincare and light makeup (brows, eyeliner, mascara and some concealer), and get dressed for work.

8 a.m. — J. drives me to the dealership where I finally get to pick my car up from the shop! My transmission decided to totally give out after only 50,000 miles, which is bizarre. Luckily it happened a month before my warranty expired so everything was covered. Genuinely not sure what I would have done otherwise — I’d be out thousands and thousands of dollars. It gives me hives just thinking about it. It’s been five weeks in a rental car (thankfully reimbursed by Hyundai) and I’m so glad to have mine back. I forgot I still have the movie soundtrack from yesterday queued up and accidentally end up crying to “Show Yourself” as I’m driving (that damn song always gets to me).

8:30 a.m. — Arrive at work. I genuinely love being a bridal consultant. I drink a mini can of Mountain Dew to try and match the energy of the brides coming in at 9 a.m. I try to only do caffeine on bridal shop days or when I need to treat a migraine so I don’t build up a super high tolerance to it.

11 a.m. — Small break between brides. I eat a gluten-free cupcake that my manager bought from the bakery down the street.

5:30 p.m. — The day was SO BUSY and I am exhausted. My appointments today were amazing though — I only sold one of three, which isn’t great, but the first two brides I really vibed with and both tipped me well, and the third will hopefully come back in August. I tell my coworker to pick me up some Taco Bell (four crunch tacos with beans instead of beef, because Taco Bell’s beef isn’t gluten-free) on the way to the shop and I give her $10 of the cash I was tipped to cover it. We get ready in one of the dressing rooms, listening to music and goofing off. $10

7 p.m. — We head out to my friend’s party. The birthday girl texts me last minute and asks me to grab limes so I walk through Kroger in a very skimpy, strappy, silver bikini top (it’s a silver-themed 25th birthday) and grab her a bag. $5.49

11:30 p.m. — I get home exhausted but happy. It was a lot of fun and I got to catch up with a lot of people. I take my makeup off, do skincare, brush teeth, take meds and fall in bed.

8 a.m. — Wake up, eat some blueberry oatmeal, scroll on TikTok, go back to bed.

10 a.m. — I unbox the delivery from the specialty pharmacy I got yesterday, count the bottles, make sure I have the right number of pills, label everything and put them away. Then I get ready for work.

12 p.m. — Back at the bridal shop. Once again my bride is amazing and we get along so well. She has two favorites, one with me and one at another shop. I really hope she decides to come back to me! I also do some paperwork, clean up dishes from VIP appointments and help other appointments run smoothly.

3 p.m. — Apparently most of my coworkers did some sort of partying last night and we all want food, so Buffalo Wild Wings it is. I get the nachos with extra chicken (trying to get extra protein where I can). I think technically my order is like $15 but my friend only requests $10 because of the limes. $10

6 p.m. — After I get home we go to visit J.’s 98-year-old grandmother. She is declining and has been admitted to hospice — it could be a few weeks or a few months, we aren’t sure. J. is her favorite person on Earth and it’s always so sweet to see them interacting.

7 p.m. — We stop by Kroger, which FINALLY has the new gluten-free Chips Ahoy cookies I’ve been dying to try, so I snag those ($6.29) and a new charging cord for my car — I must have lost my other one when transferring between the rental car and mine ($11.99). $18.28

10 p.m. — Me, J. and the cat have all been lazing on the couch doing random things and I decide to go to bed early. Skincare, teeth, meds, bed.

4:45 a.m. — I am working stage door all this week and unfortunately that means three morning shifts, 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. I am not a morning person but money is money.

6 a.m. — Open up the building. Stage door involves a lot of downtime so I always bring my laptop and things to work on (surveys, emails, business stuff, etc.) but today I am tired and just derp around on my phone instead of being productive.

12:30 p.m. — Coworker gets here early so I clock the heck out. I go return the rental car and get my $300 deposit back (which will go straight back into my emergency fund, where it came from) and email Hyundai the final total for reimbursement (also back to the emergency fund).

1 p.m. — My (future) MIL picks me up. I was planning on going straight home and taking a nap but we decide to get lunch. I have a free entrée coupon at McAlister’s so I’m all for it. I get a spicy turkey avocado sandwich with potato salad. She catches me up on family stuff and we end up going to Target to make a snack basket for a cousin whose baby will be having surgery this week.

3:30 p.m. — She drops me off at home and I go right back out to the chiropractor (prepaid at the beginning of the month).

4 p.m. — Now I REALLY need a nap. I change out of my uniform and pass out.

6:30 p.m. — J. comes home with ~Taco Bellllllll~ which I could eat every single day until I die. He pays.

7:30 p.m. — I see a Chappell Roan bumper sticker that I simply must have but I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of little spending that will add up so I bookmark it. If I’m still thinking about it by the end of the week, I’ll buy it.

10 p.m. — More lazing on the couch for the three of us, colloquially known as family time. I’ve had a mild headache all day but around 10 p.m. it goes from “annoying” to “okay, OUCH” so I take a naproxen and an extra magnesium with my bedtime meds and do my skincare, teeth, etc. I check the barometric pressure and sure enough, it’s right in the migraine danger zone thanks to the rainy weather we’ve been having. My migraines have never been as intense as they were pre-surgery but I will always be prone to them, especially weather-related ones — that has always been one of my biggest triggers. It is weird to feel how I only really get them in the back of my head now and not in the surgery zones. Turn out the lights around 11 p.m.

4:30 a.m. — Truly, my body hates me. I guess it said, Oh you want to get up at 4:30 a.m. now? Okay! I move out to the couch, eat two granola bars, then grab my pillows to sleep out there. Sometimes changing up my sleeping location helps my body. Don’t ask me why.

10:30 a.m. — My theory proves correct as I slept SO well this morning. I lie around and scroll on Reddit, do my daily challenges on Monopoly Go! (this game is so stupid, why am I still playing it?!), then get up and get ready for stage door (1 p.m. to 9 p.m. today). I just bought some company shirts with the logo in Pride colors (woo!) that finally got delivered so I decide to wear one of those today.

12 p.m. — Leave the apartment to get some blood work done. I’ve been having some muscle pain and stiffness consistent with my AI disease flaring up for about two weeks, so I finally message my doc and ask her to put in blood work orders. I want to make sure my CK (creatine kinase) levels are still normal and everything looks okay. I’m probably being paranoid but whatever. Blood work is covered under insurance and the hospital forgiveness program.

1 p.m. — Stage door, and this time I actually do work in my downtime. I catch up on emails, do some surveys, straighten out my schedule, catch up on writing my Money Diary, call to make some appointments, brush out and rebraid some sections of a wig for tomorrow… [Insert “I cry a lot but I am so productive” here]. Somewhere in there I eat a bag of popcorn and drink a Chobani protein smoothie.

9:30 p.m. — Home! I chill on the couch for a bit, then do skincare/teeth/meds and go to bed around 10:30 p.m.

7 a.m. — I have an intake appointment with a new neurologist this morning and I’m very nervous. I essentially got fired as a patient from the last neurology group I was seen in for being too complicated and have waited months for this to open up. Thankfully my migraines are minimal compared to what I once had, but I still need to have a neuro group on my care team.

9 a.m. — The appointment goes AMAZING. I am so thrilled. She looked at my history and basically said, what do you need from me? She refilled all my as-needed medications (naproxen, Zofran for nausea, Imitrex), is going to look into the possibility of getting my ER infusions at their outpatient center if I need them, and we decide to try a new abortive medicine (Maxalt) that will hopefully give me fewer side effects than the Imitrex.

11 a.m. — Wake up to the amazing news that Miss T. Swift has rereleased the folklore cardigan! I’m lucky enough to have an OG folklore patch cardi but late-bloomer Swiftie J. has never wanted to pay resale price for it (can’t blame him). I (subtly!) run in while he’s in a meeting (he works from home) to see if he wants one and he frantically gestures an affirmative offscreen. I snag him one and he’ll pay me back next week when we get paid. $74.99

11:45 a.m. — Get ready for today’s performance. Today I get to be my absolute favorite girl so that’s always a confidence booster. I am FEELING it and take a ton of photos before I leave. Something about the whole “I was outside looking in, but now have my whole life in front of me” story just really resonates with me, I suppose?

4 p.m. — It goes SO well. The venue was decorated to theme, the kiddos were so sweet and excited, and my voice was very elastic and satisfying today! We got some amazing pictures and a ton of follows on our Facebook afterwards.

5:30 p.m. — What was a 30-minute drive to the event turns into an hour and a half on the way back due to traffic, and balancing six-and-a-half feet of braided hair over my shoulder the whole time is super annoying. I get home, shower/sanitize and go through pictures to edit and post on Facebook with my feet propped up on the couch.

7 p.m. — Cauliflower crust margherita pizza for dinner. I wish I had never found these because they’re so good but also literally $10 for a single-serving pizza. J. picked up my new abortive meds on the way home. He uses his HSA card and says it was only a few dollars.

8 p.m. — I forget I have another 6 a.m. shift tomorrow! Wig gets put away, costume goes in a pile to be washed, then I speedrun my skincare/teeth/meds routine to be in bed by 9 p.m.

4:45 a.m. — I seriously might only sign up for night shifts after this. These mornings are brutal.

6 a.m. — I vow to be productive. I put on The Tortured Poets Department in the background, then do some laptop chores: email, compare pet insurance quotes (ours went up in price but it turns out it’s pretty much industry standard at the moment for the level of coverage we have) and schedule the cat a teeth-cleaning appointment next month, do some surveys, order contacts ($137.48 but goes on J.’s HSA card).

11 a.m. — A coworker in the adjacent office comes in wearing a mask and informs me that COVID-19 has been running rampant in both operations and administration over the past two weeks. I immediately throw on a mask and disinfect every single thing within a 20-foot radius of my workspace. NOT playing around with that!

12:30 p.m. — My replacement comes in early looking like absolute death, and while I’d like to get the hours in, it is not worth breathing his air, so I hightail it out of there.

1 p.m. — Get home, take a nap.

4 p.m. — I wake up and my head is bothering me again. The weather has been wild here for over a week and it’s catching up with me. Perfect time to try that new med! I eat, take some precautionary Zofran and set myself up on the couch before taking one. I have NO side effects, which compared to the Imitrex is a huge win — it would always leave me a hazy, sweaty mess and feeling like I got hit by a truck.

6 p.m. — I can still feel a lingering headache, confirmed by my cat coming and loafing on my chest almost nose to nose with me, which he only does when I’m REALLY feeling bad, so I repeat the dose. This I can definitely feel. I’m a little high and spacey, lol. I settle in on the couch with some YouTube to let the meds do their thing and will be doing nothing for the rest of the night!