The One Fall Staple That Literally Nobody Needs

We're all about the one piece, five ways. But, what about a piece that's meant to be worn three, even five ways, but is stripped of its multiplicity? Enter: the Sweater Cape Scarf. Three totally sensible items — the sweater, the cape, and the scarf — seemingly rolled into one, but, in reality, can only be worn decoratively around the neck. Don’t get us wrong, we love pushing boundaries and flipping the bird to fashion rules. But, to be duped by the promise of three cold-weather essentials for the price of one? Now, that's nonsensical. (And, also, kind of mean.) Let's take a closer look: As the item's description says, you can “wear it as a cape or a scarf.” But, hold up — what if you want to wear it as a sweater? Well, you're out of luck. While the Sweater Cape Scarf is indeed sweater-like in shape and look, it cannot actually function as one. We repeat: You cannot put a torso in that bad boy. Sure, we get that a non-sweater could produce a cleaner look when tied around your neck — a problem surely familiar to country club frequenters. But, we can’t help but wonder why we can't just pluck a non-bulky sweater from our closet, throw it across our shoulders (as a sweater or a cape, of course), and call it a day, like we have been for so long. Really, is a sweater-shaped scarf that you can't even wear as a sweater...necessary? We think not.

Front Row Shop Camel Sweater Cape Scarf, $57, available at Front Row Shop.