A Week In San Francisco On A $135,000 Salary

Occupation: System specialist
Industry: Biotech
Age: 34
Location: San Francisco
Salary: $135,000
Assets: Checking: $12,750; HYSA: $19,955; 401(k): $265,495.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $3,455
Pronouns: She/they

Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: $3,045 for a one-bedroom apartment with pet rent and parking.
Internet: $70
Phone: $30 (US line), $11 (JP line).
Hulu: $17 (shared with mom in exchange for Netflix).
Crunchyroll: $8
MAX: $15
Spotify: $12
Patreons: $27
Pet insurance: $35

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. Both my parents valued education highly and it was not even a question whether or not I would get an undergraduate degree. Thankfully, there wasn’t a lot of pressure as to what sort of degree. I was able to graduate without debt because my grandparents set up a college fund for me, and I was an overachieving student: I got scholarships that covered about half of my tuition and graduated with two degrees in four years to maximize my time and interests. That said, I was scrambling to pay for the last semester. My master’s degree was more like a paid internship but it meant the company I worked for paid my tuition and a small stipend in exchange for my labor. I racked up a lot of credit card debt trying to balance everything during those years.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
It was a weird mix. On the one hand, my dad didn’t have much money growing up and once he did have money to spend, he became the sort to buy things without caring how much they cost. He’s almost an example of what not to do with money. My mother, on the other hand, is very careful with money but came from a family and culture where it was considered rude and unnecessary to talk about finances in public, especially with children. So I was taught to save if there were things I wanted, how to write a check and the importance of having a savings account, but not much beyond that. My first overdraft fee in college was certainly a shock, and there’s also an infamous story about one of my first summer jobs: I ended up owing far more money for taxes than I actually had, because no one told me about the difference between being an employee and an independent contractor when it came to tax deductions. When I told my dad that I thought my paycheck was mine and taxes had been deducted already (they hadn’t been), he got mad that I would suggest I had been wronged because no one explained the difference at hiring. So I learned pretty quickly to educate myself on everything financial.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
When I was 16, I became a summer lifeguard and swim instructor at our city pool. I was driving the carpool to school and needed money for gas.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. Both of my parents worked and had fairly lucrative jobs, although when I was about 12, my mother quit the corporate world and went back to teaching, which is not so lucrative. We were firmly middle class. When they divorced, there were a lot of questions as to how things would be split and what that would mean for the household and for me, but there was never concern about not having enough.

Do you worry about money now?
Sort of? It’s hard not to, living in SF with its high cost of living, but I’m very lucky to have a good, stable job and a breadth of skills that would hopefully mean that if something did happen, I wouldn’t be on my savings for too long. I worry about money more in the abstract than the particular. In my head, my non-liquid savings basically don’t exist as something that can be spent.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At around age 23, when I graduated from my master’s program. I lived with my father at the time, which became unsustainable for a number of reasons, including the four-hour commute to my job. While I don’t get any financial support from either of my parents, I know that if anything drastic happened, I could live with one of them until I got back on my feet. I also have several friends in the area and while their support would likely not be financial, it would be in big ways that would help me save money.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My mother gave me $3,000 for a down payment on my car, which I’m still driving 13 years later. Both of my parents (my father in particular) have been vocal about spending what they have in their later years, so I have no expectation that money or property will come to me.

7:30 a.m. — I’ve got a winery luncheon today with my mom and best friend, J., so I’ve done my time backup to know when I need to wake up to be able to wash and style my hair and have a little breakfast. I got so fed up with how my hair was acting in the humidity when I was living in Tokyo that once I came back I started looking into how to lean into the curl. It’s only been about a month so I’m still very much learning what I’m doing and how much of what products I need, but it’s been nice to see how much better it’s been behaving. I’ve been using the Prose shampoo, conditioner and curl cream, so mostly I’m switching around stylers and techniques.

9 a.m. — Even with diffusing my hair, I need to let it sit and dry so I settle onto the couch with my cat, L., and watch Dimension 20 while I eat breakfast. Breakfast is pomegranate black tea and the Costco dupe of Starbucks’ sous vide egg bites — I know the luncheon will have a lot of food so I want something on the lighter end to just pad my stomach. I used the last of the travel-size pouch of Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls, which — even with my not knowing what I’m doing — I’ve loved the results of every time. It’s going to be hard not to buy more but I have so many minis and travel sizes to go through in my hair journey that I need to resist.

11:30 a.m. — I inspired my mom to join the wine club for one of my favorite wineries at a level that means she can come to my favorite event: their annual wine pairing reception and luncheon in the vineyard. Normally I would pick up J. but since she and my mom are coming from the same direction, my mom’s driving her instead. I miss our wild car chats but I get to listen to my audiobook, A Song to Drown Rivers, so that’s a fun bonus.

4 p.m. — The luncheon is always so much fun and this year is no exception — the food is amazing and the weather is perfect and we have a great table. We get to sit with one of my favorites of the winery staff and definitely stay until the very end. The luncheon (and wine) end at 2 p.m. but they don’t rush us out so we take our time with dessert and coffee and chatting. Neither my mother nor I need any encouragement to keep going once we’ve started in on good conversation so we completely lose track of time and end up being the last table, finally getting in our wine orders when the catering company starts packing up the tables, oops. We get 30% off bottles in a case or more of wine, so J. and I split getting bottles. She’ll pay me back for her four bottles when I get the invoice and price breakdown because I’m too distracted to do it when we’re writing down the order (and also because the order sheet doesn’t have the discount applied and that’s WAY too much mental math). $229

5:15 p.m. — I stop and get gas on my way home because I happen to pass the cheapest station in the area. Everyone knows it’s the cheapest so there’s a long line but I don’t mind because I’m almost at the end of my audiobook. I have half a mind to pull over to the side so that I can finish it, so that I’m not yelling and grabbing the steering wheel on the freeway. There’s so much drama and backstabbing and longing as it all wraps up, I have to take a moment to compose myself before I get out of the car. $35.06

8 p.m. — I get caught up in reading The Ex Vows for one of my book clubs to the point that I forget to think about dinner. I’ve been obsessed with these microwave steamed chicken Korean dumplings — they’re perfect for a quick late or small meal since there’s six of them — but I am running low. They are at Costco but I’m vaguely trying to work on clearing out my fridge and freezer before my gauntlet of travel in the next few weeks, so do I want to get more? They do freeze for a really long time...

10:30 p.m. — Feed L. her dinner and play with her for a bit. She’s a 3-year-old teen mom ex-barn cat (I got her when she was a little over a year but she had already had a litter of kittens, weaned them and been spayed by then) so she usually has a lot of energy to burn off — especially in the middle of the night. I try to do hunting/zoomies playtime with her as I get ready for bed, to wind us both down and try and prevent the small-hour zoom sessions. I’ve had a lot of late nights the past week for rehearsals for a concert I performed in last night, so I am very tired and have to cut it short before I fall asleep with the lights on.

7 a.m. — Wake up when my alarm goes off to a sore throat, which could be from a gazillion different things, especially since my voice is also TOTALLY gone. While I was masked for our rehearsals since May, I wasn’t for dress rehearsal and the concert, since hitting high As while masked is more of a strain on my throat and we kept losing people for various reasons during concert week. A rapid test is negative for COVID-19 but I check my work calendar and the experiment I had planned got rescheduled so this feels like a good day to work from home and take care of myself if I don’t have to be in. I feed L. and get back in bed to laze for a bit.

9 a.m. — Since I’m not going in today, this feels like a good day to practice refreshing my hair. It’s definitely an area I have zero confidence in since every time I’ve attempted it, I feel like it’s ended up worse than when I started. I got a mini of Ouidad refresh spray because I am a minis magpie and cannot resist just trying shit out, so I give that a whirl. I definitely spray too much on my hair, but it doesn’t look truly horrid so I’m calling it a learning experience and a win.

11 a.m. — I get an email about HSA contributions and I remember that the rapid test I took this morning leaves me with only one test so I hop on Amazon to order some more. I throw in some of the Flu A&B combo ones for good measure, as well as some cute color-gradient KF94 masks to match with my outfits for NY next week. Everything is HSA eligible so it goes on that card, which honestly, I need to remember to use more, but remembering to separate out purchases or planning purchases so that they can be separated out is truly difficult.

1:15 p.m. — Instead of making lunch, I walk over to Safeway. I honestly have no idea what I’m there for until I get there and remember that in my medicine cabinet organization, I had realised I’m out of Nyquil. Then, in a hybrid of hungry grocery shopping and the anxiety of needing to put more than Nyquil and orange juice in my basket, I end up with pizzette, deodorant, saline spray and bags of Reese’s Take 5. None of the soups looks good and while I’m hungry, I talk myself out of getting any of the meal prep things, though somehow I talk myself into getting frozen breakfast burritos? Except I’m not a breakfast person? Hungry anxious grocery shopping is truly another beast. $65.99

5:45 p.m. — I’m craving some hot and sour soup but the place nearby I love is closed today and tomorrow, so that’s out. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten delivery that I don’t remember what places have both good soup and a good appetizer I can get (so that delivery feels a little more worth it). I end up pivoting and getting tom kha soup and crab rangoons. I’ve apparently got credits from not getting delivery in so long so I tip that amount ($15). $36.60

6 p.m. — Monday night is Bad Movie Night with my Discord crew. In honor of the Olympics, we’ve been watching my favorite silly soccer anime, and I’ve been thrilled that everyone is loving it. It’s so overdramatic and so much fun, and I’m always grateful that we’ve been doing this for the years since lockdown and everyone is still on board with getting together every week. There’s a moment where something in an episode echoes an Olympic soccer scandal we’d been talking about and we all absolutely lose it laughing.

8 p.m. — Normally I would go down to my wine bar to yell at The Bachelorette with everyone, but with my voice being gone and not wanting to drink with a sore-ish throat anyway, I instead take out the trash and turn on more Dimension 20. I’m on the Fey Regency season so there’s plenty of relationships and drama to gasp at and yell about as best I can. I get to curl up on the couch with L., so I take the opportunity to do a face mask. I got a bunch of them when I was in Japan and I’m trying to be good about actually using them, especially since I know I can stock up on more when I’m back so that I don’t end up with the “I have to save this for a special occasion” dilemma.

10:30 p.m. — The charge for my meal kit box hits. This will hopefully get me through the next three weeks between all of the planned events and travel I have on my calendar. $82.91

7 a.m. — I think yesterday was just a little head cold or something because I’m feeling a lot better, but I test for good measure while I shower. Last year I was getting my skincare routine in line and now I’m focusing on my hair. Maybe I’m not being the most thorough with actually forming a routine but it sure is fun trying different products every single wash day. Today is “clarify and deep condition” day, and whatever the combo is, I’m not really feeling it. My Prose shampoo is pretty clarifying so maybe I don’t need a separate clarifying product, just an extra wash step. It might also be the leave-in, since I haven’t used it before so I’m guessing on the amount to use.

9 a.m. — I come in to a ton of balloons. We had a slew of people all come back from vacation around the same time, and we’ve just been moving around this stash of balloons to fill their cubicles as a welcome-back prank. Today it’s the coworker who sits in the cubicle behind me, and she’s probably the last one — these balloons have already lasted for almost 10 days. We chat a bit about her vacation and she thanks me for some of my tips for her for Tokyo, including a cafe recommendation. It reminds me to check cafe reservations for my trip in three weeks and check with friends for their schedules.

11:45 p.m. — I’ve got a lunch meeting today. We were given lunch cards to get food to bring to it but since I’ve been masked today — even if I feel better, it’s easy enough to be careful with my coworkers’ health, especially with a ton of various things going around this summer — I want to eat lunch before I get to the meeting room. I grab a carnitas burrito from the grab and go heat it up and eat it at my desk. This has the added bonus of only taking about half of the card so I can get another burrito another day. Score.

2:45 p.m. — The lunch meeting was my last meeting for the day so I’m thinking I’ll head home and finish up my work there. I finish up some lab maintenance and tinkering and head out. I stop at Costco on the way — I have a half hope that they’ll have the tom yum soup cups that got me through the winter, but I think I’m cursed to find things at Costco I love and have them be a one-off overstock product. This then makes me want to stock up when I see things, so I grab more of the Korean chicken dumplings, some soup dumplings and some more of the egg bites, even though those are Kirkland brand and likely not going anywhere anytime soon. $39.67

3:45 p.m. — When I was at Costco, I realized I wanted some bananas and orange juice but not Costco sizes of bananas and orange juice. If only I could have realized this yesterday when I was at Safeway (I did know I wanted orange juice but I thought I only wanted a little orange juice, so I bought a single-serving bottle rather than a large one. More fool me). Thankfully I pass a grocery store on my way home; unfortunately it’s a Whole Foods. This does have the bonus of meaning I’m unlikely to pick up anything extra on a whim (spoiler: I get some frozen BBQ pork bao) but I do end up grabbing what is probably the most expensive orange juice in the history of groceries and I’m annoyed at myself. $18.78

4:45 p.m. — The only reason I might have stayed at work is that the knitting and crochet group has an in-person meetup today, but I’d also just rather be home. I take a picture of my crochet “progress” (a square of questionable geometry) and send it to the group. I’ve been knitting for a long time but have avoided crochet like it’s harmed me personally, and last session, one of the crocheters and I traded off on teaching each other our crafts. She sends back that she is avoiding knitting by teaching someone else to crochet, so I feel vindicated. All the crocheters seem to be best at amigurumi, so I go look at patterns and get one of my favorite fish (a mola mola) in hopes that it is an easy shape and will motivate me more to learn and continue than a square will. $2.50

6:30 p.m. — Normally I have chorus rehearsal tonight but we’ve got a two-week break between seasons. It’s nice to just leisurely wrap up work and make dinner instead of rushing around and trying to make sure I eat before I head out the door. I make a chicken and poblano pepper faro bowl and settle in to watch some more Olympics. My former roommate really got me into watching weightlifting, so now that’s been added into my Olympic watching rotation and I always marvel at every new record set. That’s so many human beings! Lifted above their heads!

8 p.m. — L. is indignant that I have been fed and she hasn’t — she alternates between staring at me as if that will make the time move faster and seeing if she can eat anything on the table. She can’t, but she puts in a good effort on a book I’ve left out — it’s thankfully 1) paperback 2) an ARC that had some paper/cutting errors to begin with so I don’t feel the need to rescue it, though I do want to read it. I pull it away from her but instead of reading it, I turn on more Fey and Flowers.

Daily Total: $60.95

7 a.m. — Today is my usual WFH day so I make a little bit of a lazy morning of it and slowly check social media in bed after feeding L.

8 a.m. — Okay, maybe I was onto something when I convinced myself to buy breakfast burritos because the combination of burrito, banana, and orange juice is pretty good. I don’t usually eat more breakfast than a granola bar at my desk at work, but I am feeling pretty great after this. Having the egg bites around is easy and good but a little light and tiring after a while.

11:30 a.m. — Honestly I’m glad I’m working from home today because I get a string of texts from coworkers to deal with. Thankfully they’re mostly scheduling or data-related and not anything that I feel badly about not being in person for — I’m mostly extremely glad I don’t have to deal with one series of texts in person (and control my facial expression), because my coworker keeps repeating herself after I’ve already agreed and said I’ll investigate. L. is being very cute and sleeping in sunbeams, eventually moving to go curl up and sleep in her backpack carrier. Little does she know she’ll have to go to the vet in that very same carrier later today.

12:30 p.m. — Make lunch, which is chili crisp udon noodles with pork and spinach, since I can’t stand bok choy but feel like I should have A Vegetable. I can’t wait to see what popular seasoning/food gets turned into a fad next, though I can’t deny chili crisp is delicious and goes well on everything.

2 p.m. — Bring L. up to the vet. She’s the most calm she’s ever been in her carrier, possibly because she’s been sleeping in it more frequently. She’s just in for her checkup, which she passes with flying colors, getting a “perfect” and “beautiful” from the vet. She is a perfect and beautiful cat and I’m very proud of her and not biased at all. She also gets her rabies vaccine, which theoretically her pet insurance will cover, but much like with human health insurance, you never know until you submit the claim (even if she does have better health insurance than I do). $50

5:30 p.m. — Quick light dinner of steamed chicken dumplings before I head to my wine bar for the evening. There was a chance I’d have to do some creative time management with my weekly tabletop group to be able to make both, but the GM and her girlfriend are driving back from Yosemite and got caught in traffic, so I have some breathing room.

6:30 p.m. — My wine bar (I call it mine because I have a glass with my name on it, my photo on the wall, I know all the regulars and the owners) has a closing ceremony for our Olympic competition, which has been very fun the past few weeks. We have a celebratory chambong for all the competitors, and my team and I group up to cheers. I didn’t win anything except trivia last week but that was pretty awesome because I also won an Olympics Barbie for being “best dressed” (I wore some official Team USA Olympic wear). There are some charcuterie board fixings and empanadas, so we all graze and chat and drink and cheers and have a great time. $80

9 p.m. — Get home and buy a label for a package containing some clothes I’m sending to a friend. I’ll print it out tomorrow at work and drop it off at the post office, but I’m doing it now while I remember — I’ll have an unread email to remind me to print it out tomorrow. My friend pays me back within a few minutes of my telling her the total.

7 a.m. — For once, when my alarm goes off, I feel alert and awake, which is a nice change. I don’t have the time to style my hair but it is nice to know what just the Prose combo feels like in my hair and how it curls with no specific styler in it. I’m running low on the face wash I use in the shower so now I have to decide whether I want to risk going to Sephora for just a single thing (it’s never just a single thing) or be wasteful and get it shipped.

9:30 a.m. — Our sustainability team brought in breakfast and thankfully it’s bagels this week. The last person who brought in bagels expressed surprise that people liked the asiago cheese bagels because three of us came in at the same time asking if there were cheese bagels left. I used to like cinnamon raisin bagels the best but honestly, the more savory bagels are really where it’s at, especially toasted and with cream cheese.

12:30 p.m. — Today’s experiment is actually going very smoothly so I get time to heat up lunch and eat it at my desk instead of in the door of the lab, which is always nice. Technically I could have made this week more tricky and added a layer to the experiment but since we had a few weeks in a row of it being tricky and taking all my attention, and since I’m going to be out next time, which will automatically make it harder for my coworker, we’re taking it easier and just doing a standard experiment this week.

4:45 p.m. — I stop by Target on the way home because I need toilet paper and as is the way, I end up wandering around Target for a while. Who needs the gym when you can just do laps aimlessly around Target, trying to remember what else you need? Halfway down the grocery side, I remember I wanted to get some measuring spoons to try and standardize how much hair product I’m using in the shower for the products that don’t have pumps. Of course, they are on the other side of the store from where I am and the self-checkouts, so I get a good couple laps in. $23.18

5:45 p.m. — The time has finally come for me to fulfill my hot and sour soup destiny. I have a book club meeting later so I have a good reason to be down in this direction other than simply desiring soup. The hot and sour soup here is just so good, perfectly spicy and so comforting. I also get some crab wontons because theirs are so good (and I may have been thinking about them after the ones on Monday turned out subpar). $40

7 p.m. — This book club is almost a year old! It’s so nice that we’ve got some real regulars but that there’s also always newbies, and this month there’s a ton of new people, which sparks great conversation. We chat for a really long time, and get some tacos and drinks. It’s always really interesting to me to see how different book clubs approach the same books differently and how the groups shape the conversation. Our regular server is apparently a manager now and they’ve started making tequila in house, so he brings us all a celebratory shot. I don’t normally do shots (much less of tequila) but this feels like a special occasion. $40

10 p.m. — I’m so excited to have chill evenings at home after having rehearsal every night last week so once I get in, I sit on the couch and watch another episode of Dimension 20. There are some other things I could and should probably watch, but this is bringing me so much joy right now.

7 a.m. — My alarm goes off but it’s one of those mornings where all I want to do is sleep in for a little longer so I get up to give L. her breakfast and go back to bed, planning to doze just for a bit.

10 a.m. — FAMOUS LAST WORDS. I guess I really needed some extra sleep — I woke up around 9 a.m. and responded to my mom’s morning text but apparently fell right back asleep. I thought I’d been pretty well rested but I can’t argue with falling back asleep hard for three hours. Thankfully my only meeting today isn’t until the afternoon so there’s no one to know how late I’m starting the day.

12:30 p.m. — One upside to starting so late is that breakfast slides pretty easily into lunch. I’ve eaten a banana but make lunch proper: shrimp and pasta with some veggies (tomatoes and zucchini). Since I got a late start, I didn’t make any tea for myself, so I drink the last of the iced hōjicha I made last week instead.

2 p.m. — After my meeting, in which we finally solve a data mystery that has been bugging my team (but at the same time bringing up a new mystery to solve), I take my laundry downstairs to start a load. While that’s going, I put in headphones and start cleaning. It’s been a while since I’ve had enough of a free day to be able to do more than sweep and vacuum, so I take the opportunity to do a pest sweep on the plants and fully clean out L.’s litter box. I’m almost done with my next audiobook, a murder mystery set in SF, but it’s not as engaging as I’d like it to be. It’s nice enough for chores, though. $3.75

4:30 p.m. — I finish the book so for the rest of my chores I put on the music that the chorus will be singing next season. I haven’t 100% decided whether or not to sign up yet, and I want to check it out first. While listening, I actually get really excited about getting to sing some of these pieces, so I sign up and request the sheet music. I’ve been vaguely trying to move over to using a tablet for my music, but taking notes is so much easier on a physical copy. $230

6:30 p.m. — I apparently missed a call from a place where I took a piece of art to get framed. My art is done and I’m thinking of stopping to pick it up on my way up for lunch with my aunt and my mom tomorrow, especially since it’s near the bookstore having a special event that I was planning on stopping by anyway. Except then I check my personal email and while we were supposed to meet up much closer to home, my aunt is claiming her mechanic doesn’t want her to drive her car out of town, and my mom agreed to meet up at her place, which both moves the time earlier and increases the travel time, so now I don’t think things will be open with enough time. Sigh deeply and go make dinner.

7 p.m. — I’m feeling fussy enough that I just heat up the leftovers of the hot and sour soup and light a candle and pour some rosé. Because I’m feeling fussy, I immediately get annoyed with the candle — it’s one with a wood wick, which I’d gotten because I thought it looked cute, but quickly figure out that the crackling sound of the wick drives me to distraction Very Thoroughly. Except now I’ve lit it and it’s burned down far enough that I can’t just blow it out and light a new one without making my life harder next time to keep an even burn.

9 p.m. — I torment L. and drag her onto my lap to comfort me while I watch some more Dimension 20. Thankfully she’s a decently good sport once I bribe her with some minnows. By the time she starts clamoring for dinner, I’ve also put together a plan for my schedule for tomorrow. I realize I haven’t made any plans for anything beyond tomorrow, including my trips to NY, LA and Tokyo, but my brain can’t handle any abstract scheduling right now and getting up off the couch is a daunting task, but I’m also now circling anxiety that I only have a few set plans. I still have trouble believing that if I reach out to friends first, they’ll actually want to hang out with me outside of groups.

11 p.m. — Instead of doing anything productive, I end up reading. I have a passing thought about picking up one of my knitting projects while watching TV, but my cat really loves string and I live in fear of her attacking my projects. I don’t have to be up super early tomorrow but early enough that even with sleeping in today, I don’t want to make too late of a night of it.

7:45 a.m. — Since now I need to leave by 10 a.m., in order to shower, wash and style my hair I speed run some breakfast and leave a mug of tea to cool while I’m in the shower. Now that I’ve got measuring spoons, I feel like I should start at the beginning of my minis collection and figure out what a consistent amount of each will do. As much as I liked Miss Jessie’s, I am really loving the Curlsmith collection. We’ll see what I like enough by the end to get full sizes of.

11 a.m. — Meet up with my mom to go over to my aunt’s. I am fully braced for who knows what — I haven’t seen her since last year, and honestly this was pretty out of the blue. There’s just something about how she speaks about the people around her that puts me on edge, like everything is constantly a competition. I am just not a competitive person; I exist with too much constant anxiety to add that on top, much less competing with someone about…simply. Existing. I also started listening to our next book club book on audio on the way up and oh no, I Hate It. The characters and treatment of the tropes are like nails on a chalkboard to me. Cranking it up to 2.25x speed isn’t helping my nerves, even if I know it’ll be over sooner.

12 p.m. — My mom brought a bottle of wine to have with lunch but even before it’s been opened, my aunt proclaims that I need to go out and get another bottle. I hold off for a bit but by the time we’re halfway through the bottle, I cave and go down to the store. She’d mentioned a certain label but I can’t find it. I go back and forth between getting a bottle of sauv blanc that I know and like, but there’s no way of saying why I picked it without explaining I had it while on vacation in New Zealand, which is a kind of sore spot with her. I talk myself into getting it because I like it and so does my mom, and then as I’m heading to the register, I see the label she mentioned and grab that as well. It’s way more than we’ll need but now I’m nervous and don’t want to take more time. $45.02

2:30 p.m. — Lunch is surprisingly fine. My mom’s been really into K-dramas on Netflix so I get to hear her ranking of the dramas she’s watched in all the different categories. She’s also been listening to some K-pop and nothing could have prepared me for hearing my mother have opinions on BLACKPINK songs. It’s very clear my aunt is very lonely and we’re a little concerned with how much of the wine she drinks, but she swears that we’ll do this more often. We’ll see, but it will take a bit for this to feel like something fun rather than an obligation to check in on her.

3 p.m. — One consolation to being up here is that this is a county I don’t have a library card for yet. Ever since learning last year that as a California resident, I can get a library card at pretty much any county or city library as long as I register or pick up the card in person, I’ve been sort of collecting library cards. There are a few counties that don’t require you to be there in person but I also do love seeing all the fun designs on the physical cards. I’ve got somewhere around 14 now, which is not as helpful as you would think, as I still end up getting my books and audiobooks from the same three or so libraries on Libby.

4:45 p.m. — I get home in time to check the movie schedule and see that if I leave now, I can pick up my artwork from the framer’s as well as catch a showing of Deadpool & Wolverine. I still have a bunch of MoviePass credits so I try to use those but it keeps asking for a PIN, which I don’t have and my guesses aren’t working, so I just pay for it. I get a small popcorn because this feels like such a popcorn movie. I have the BEST time. I was a big Marvel comics person for a while but in terms of the movies, the X-Men were always my jam, so this movie with all its throwback cameos and ’90s/’00s music feels like it was made specifically for me. $22

7 p.m. — I swing by the bookstore on my way home. I knew this day and sale was coming but being at book club reminded me that I’d been saving up some books I wanted to buy in anticipation of this day. I hang out and chat with the staff for a bit; I’ve missed all the events but there’s still a good energy in the air. I get four books I was waiting on as well as a blind date book — the books themselves are often not my favorites but the idea and just getting to engage with the descriptions is so much fun that I feel like I’m paying for the experience as much as the book. I have high hopes for this one, which mentions a witch, a vampire and a pirate. Even if I’m not a fan, there are a couple Little Free Libraries in walking distance that I drop off books at all the time, and romance books go quickly in there. Libro.fm is also offering four free audiobooks for Romance Bookstore Day, so I nab all of those. $105.32

9 p.m. — I’m feeling really good after the movie and good book vibes so I actually get some planning done for my trips. The LA trip is the most free-form and the Tokyo trip is actually structured around two concerts, so it’s most dependent on my friends’ work schedules and when they can meet up with me. I check on the yen and I’m a little sad I didn’t prepay my hotel when the yen was weaker and I made the reservation. It’s not going to be a huge difference and I’m already getting a good deal for a longer stay with no housekeeping, but it still feels like a missed opportunity. I’m really excited about a cafe that does a different flower theme each month for afternoon tea, and I get ready for bed dreaming of flowers.