I Bought 3 Pairs Of These $13 Amazon Hot-Girl Sunglasses

I've previously shared that, after a lifetime of scoffing at the need for trendy sunglasses and breaking or losing any pair I acquire within a two-week timeframe, I’ve become eyewear-curious. Chalk it up to spending the past four months inside but I’m growing doubtful that my weakened, sunlight-starved peepers can handle even a sliver of excess Vitamin D. So, I've been combing the internet for an accessory that will protect my pupils from the sun's lack of chill — and, it didn't take long before the siren song of Amazon drew me in. While I’m not in the habit of bulk buying from the site, my job requires me to visit it on a near-daily basis which makes it impossible to avoid the occasional impulse buy or two. (Or, in my case ... um, three?) Before I knew it, I became the proud owner of Butaby’s Rectangle Sunglasses in multiples — or, as the mysteriously-provenanced brand calls them, “Rectangle Sunglasses for Women Retro Driving Glasses 90’s Vintage Fashion Narrow Square Frame.” I can’t remember why or how I landed on this particular pair, but when I got there, I couldn’t resist what I saw: a gently rectangular and vaguely nostalgic silhouette that's equal parts ’90s supermodel and 2021 hot girl.

It started, as it always does: with the reviews. Over 6,000 of them, to be exact, indicated that the highly affordable shades were light years beyond the quality that their $13 price tag might indicate. “Sunglasses for $15 that feel nice and look nice,” wrote Haley Petterson. “I usually buy $60 sunglasses and these can go head to head with the more expensive brands. Value is crazy good.” Reviewer Alexa shared that the sunnies were “such a vibe” and “very comfortable on.” She continued: “The first time I put these on I fell in love. My grandma loved them on me so I got her a pair too!” Here’s a review that could have been written by yours truly: “I typically buy dollar store sunglass. I haven’t been out much because of Covid. [But] I love these!! They feel expensive, without the price tag!!” A reviewer named Marty claimed that she “felt like a hot girl” in them — a vibe I’m in dire need of right now. (And, speaking of vibes, various voices from peanut gallery added that the shades gave off notes of “swag,” “baddie,” “boujee”, “Bella Hadid,” “Meredith Blake,” “Ray Charles”, and “Celine” — presumably the Phoebe Philo-helmed label, and not the Canadian songstress, although either is acceptable to me.) “I got these for a TikTok TBH,” wrote a reviewer, “but they are SO CUTE and surprisingly really sturdy. I will probably buy more colors. You can’t beat the price so go ahead and treat yourself!”

Yeah — about those other colors. With the overconfidence of a total sunglasses noob, I had initially ordered the fire-engine red pair, in keeping with my tendency to choose the most extra hue on any given color wheel. I immediately put them on when they arrived a sent a selfie to all of my colleagues. And, despite reassuring Slacks from the far-too-kind bunch, I couldn’t but feel that, rather than being the one wearing the sunnies, that they were wearing me. However, I sensed that I was close. The shades were wide but not overly so. Exaggerated enough to feel stylish but still restrained, thanks to the narrow and elongated shape. There was also a deeper emotional force behind my urge to find a pair that suited me; I had an overwhelming sense that they would singlehandedly usher in the hot-girl summer we all so desperately need in the wake of an uncertain year. I owed it to myself — and society — to leave my comfort zone to the tune of vaguely nostalgic and THOT-y sunglasses.

I, therefore, threw every modicum of restraint that I had into the wind and ordered (from my phone, where I got a discount for using the app, FYI) not one but two additional pairs. I’ve resisted many an impulse Amazon purchase during my tenure on the R29 Shopping team, and what finally broke me was a pair of Instagram-baddie sunglasses. SMDH. Ultimately, I bought these sunglasses not just for me but for all of us — so that we can all enjoy the hot-girl summer we deserve.